The Finer Things In Life
by CheesePie
Summary: HighSchool AU. Sasori gets a lot more than he bargined for when agreeing to tutor Deidara, a private school reject, in order to keep his family afloat. but as bad as it may be, it's for kids right? he really does need the money, but how long will he be able to put up with the brat before he snaps? SasoDei Shounen-ai/Yaoi DLDR rating may change
1. Chapter 1

**I thought i'd be able to take a break from writing, but this idea called me and i decided i didn't want to take a break. i've spent the last few days writing a plan and the first few chapters beforehand, so i'll be prepared, and im very excited about this.**

**BTW i know they aren't related irl, but having the sand siblings as Sasori's younger cousins is a MASSIVE convenience and a hell of a lot easier than making three 2D OC's.**

**Disclaimer: I Own Nothing except the plot.**

* * *

The first day of school is always, without fail, the worst.

Because you've got to get up early, after a full two months of sleeping in, and you have to run around the house for about an hour trying to get your things together, and _then_ you have to spend eight hours in a building full of people you hate and learning things that have no real world application, when you could be out making money and supporting your family.

Although I guess that last part really only applies to people like me.

When _I_ wake up on the first day of school, it's not after a long relaxing holiday filled with days of waking up in the afternoon, and entire weeks of doing nothing. Unfortunately, not all of us have the luxury of consistent parents who pay for everything you need to have an awesome, cushy life. Hell, some people are lucky to even have _one_ parent who is still alive and visits them sometimes.

Both of my parents died a long time ago, and up until three years ago, I was living with my uncle. But, after his youngest kid turned eight, he just sort of freaked out and left us with nothing.

So now, I live in a crappy one bedroom apartment which is literally right next to the train tracks, with my three younger cousins. Somehow we've gotten used to the way the whole building shakes when a train rushes past. And we're on the sixth floor, so we _do_ get a pretty good view of the industrial side of town across from the tracks, and whenever you open the windows you get that _awesome_ smell of factory smoke, which really isn't good for the kids.

During _my_ holidays, I have to work three part time jobs just to be able to make ends meet.

My oldest cousin Temari offered to help out sometimes, but I never accepted it. If nothing else, I wanted to be a good provider for those kids; they deserved their chance at a good life.

On the first day of school, I not only have to put myself together, but three children as well, aged ten, thirteen and fifteen.

I had them all up by six, dressed by fifteen past, and finishing breakfast by six thirty. It was still dark outside, but already our part of the city was moving.

Temari was starting high school today, which led me back to the fact that I had _no_ plans for these kids futures. Part of being a substitute parent, would be providing money for them to go to college, right? and Temari was a smart kid, so I knew she'd be going somewhere expensive. But at least I didn't have to worry about that for the other two, at least not for a while – or maybe ever, with the second oldest, Kankuro, who was a bit of a dumbass.

Kankuro was starting middle school today, which meant my youngest cousin Gaara, would be in primary school all by himself. Usually for a ten year old, that wouldn't be much of a concern, but he could be a little… _strange_ sometimes.

By the time I had them all on the train – since we lived pretty far from the school district – I was halfway down the list of things he shouldn't, under any circumstances, do. We'd already covered things like _don't talk to strangers, _and _come straight home,_ and were now onto _don't pick fights with kids who are bigger than you,_ and _at least __**try**__ to make some friends._

"Quit worrying about him, he'll be fine," Temari had always been the kind of girl to overestimate people's capabilities. Especially her youngest brother's.

But I was too exhausted to care. I just _couldn't believe_ that I had to go through all of this again. I could only take comfort in the fact that I only had two years of this left.

"Okay then, but if he gets himself into a fight," which he probably would, "then it's on you."

"Fine with me," Temari said. She smiled over at Gaara who just stared blankly back. "I have faith in him."

Misguided faith.

Out of all of them, I think Gaara was affected most by his father's abandonment of them, not to mention their mothers death shortly after his own birth. And as such, I was routinely called down to his school to deal with him. They had even suggested a few times that we put him into the emotionally disturbed class, but he's a bright kid, despite his screwed up personality, so we always refused.

After a while, the train stopped at a small station outside the hospital. It was as close to the primary school as the train would get and the high school and middle school were both on separate sides of town.

I made Kankuro go with Gaara, not so that he wouldn't get lost but so he wouldn't get into trouble this early in the morning.

Once they both got off it was just another ten minutes before we would reach our stop.

"They'll be fine," Temari assured me. She was watching me stare out the window at the retreating figures of her little brothers. "You should spend less time worrying about them and more time thinking about yourself."

"Easier said than done," I replied.

"Honestly, I'd be more worried about how we're going to keep a roof over our heads this year. There aren't a lot of part-time jobs suitable for students, available anymore."

Temari was only two years younger than me, so she had always taken it upon herself to share some of the concern. She'd given up a lot over the years to help out with the kids, it was pretty useful to have her to watch the kids when I wasn't around, but I still liked to think of her as a child who needed protection from the harshness of the real world.

"Something will come up," I assured her, "something always does; we'll get through this year just like we got through the last."

And if not, there was always the last resort option. But none of us wanted to go that far.

The rest of the way to school, we just spoke about things maybe normal people would talk about. Like how different high school would be from middle school, and what classes she'd have to take, stuff like that, right until the train stopped across from the Uni-tech building. The computer teachers would go to their graves defending the Uni-tech, but most of us knew that was where the dropouts and mature students went to get an easy diploma.

We took a shortcut through the park to get to the high school, where people were already beginning to flood in. I could see scared little flocks of new students, sticking closely together so as not to let the rest of the student body get near them, and tired, worn out seniors dragging themselves up the steps, still half asleep, ready to fake their way through one last year.

Temari and I went separate ways once we got into the building. She got to hang out with her pretty much normal friends, and unfortunately, I had to spend time with the people I'd been avoiding all summer.

"Hey dickhead, who's that hot blonde you were just with?"

First off was Hidan. He was my age but had been held back a year on account of that fact that he was a complete dumbass. He was one of those people who would likely drop out and go to that Uni-tech place by the station. Either that or he'd end up a criminal. Right now it could go either way.

"Hidan we've been through this before. And if you even _talk_ to _any_ of my cousins, people will be finding your scattered pieces all over the football field for the next month," I said, not missing a beat.

Hidan was a relatively good guy, so I knew he wouldn't _actually_ do anything, but it made me feel better to threaten him like that from time to time.

"You think I'm scared of you? I'm fucking immortal!" he cackled.

Yeah, that was a thing. He had this theory that he was immortal, which was thus far, unproven. Though there were many times where we'd _almost_ found out whether it was true or not, but somebody always got in the way before Hidan could be placed in a truly life threatening situation.

"And besides, you're too poor to afford a lawyer for your defence! You'd go to jail straight away!"

"Yeah, and what makes you think I'm not willing to make that sacrifice? Prison can't be any worse than where I already live."

"Right, I forgot you lived in a shithole."

He also conveniently happened to forget the fact that he lived in one as well. Hidan's parents were drug-addicted religion fanatics. I know, it's a weird combination, but life is what it is.

My next, unfortunately unavoidable friend was Kakuzu, also the same age as me, but he was taking mostly senior classes, since he hated everything about this city and wanted to get out as quickly as possible. He'd probably end up going to college abroad – if he could scrape up enough money to do so – and never come back.

We caught up with him outside one of the B block computer lab, where he'd been getting his timetable fixed.

"Those idiots had the entire summer to figure this shit out and they're only getting around to it now," he muttered as he left the room, having not yet noticed us.

"Well if you didn't insist on taking all those advanced classes, this wouldn't be a problem, dumbass!" Hidan exclaimed.

On a regular day I would've taken this chance to escape, but with all the confused younger students running around and trying to get things done before school started, I wouldn't have had a chance.

"As opposed to what, flunking all my classes so that I spend forever in high school like a damn loser?"

"Who're you calling a loser, asshole?"

These were the almost dangerous situations I mentioned earlier. Because none of us doubted, that, were they alone, Kakuzu wouldn't hesitate to test out Hidan's theory of immortality. But then, there's the distraction I mentioned.

"Girls, girls, you're both pretty," Konan, who was my only female friend, sang as she made her way over to us, dragging Pein along with her. "So you can quit this pointless fight 'cause you know how I hate violence."

If either of us was just a little less smart, we'd probably point out that her method of stopping violence from happening was to be violent herself.

She and Pein were both seniors. Konan lacked the general un-enthusiasm that the rest of the kids her age had, which was just as well because Pein had enough of it for everyone. They were both orphans and were relying on high grades to get them into college, rather than rich parents or government assistance – as people like Hidan would be forced to rely on.

We caught up with my last three friends – against my will of course, I was just dragged along by the slowly building crowd of people I hated to be around – out in the quad. They were sitting and watching a bunch of idiots tossing a ball around where they were likely to either hit someone or break a window.

Tobi and Itachi were two of my less annoying friends. they were cousins, both a year younger than me, but both would probably be put into junior classes halfway through the year anyway. They were the richest people I knew; their family was one of the biggest, most important families in town.

Itachi had a little brother the same age as Gaara, but as a general precaution, they weren't friends.

As for Tobi he was an only child. After Tobi was born, his parents hadn't wanted to risk having another kids just like him in case there was a problem with their genetics.

They were stubbornly convinced that every success Tobi faced was because of Itachi but at this point they were content to let him slide by on that.

Then last, but not least, was Kisame. He was my year, a mediocre at best student who would probably ride by on a sports scholarship or something, if he was even panning to do anything with his life. It was more likely that he'd drop everything and mindlessly follow Itachi, since that was what he already did anyway. We didn't know a lot about his real family but we knew he lived with a bunch of super successful criminals who weren't related to him at all.

I sometimes had trouble remember why these people weren't my friends in the first place. But then it was probably Kona's idea to pull us all together throughout the years. She'd probably spitted us all individually and decided we'd make the most amusing friends.

Now here I am stuck with these people.

"Morning!" Konan called, waving over at the other three. She weaved her way with the expertise of a senior, through the crowds of students and dodged a bunch of poorly aimed throws of the ball, to end up sitting herself down between the two Uchiha's. "I haven't seen you guys since last semester!"

"Yeah well there's a reason for that," Tobi muttered.

"Be nice Tobi," Itachi immediately reprimanded. "If you're not careful, somebody will hear you speaking in proper sentences."

With a huff, Tobi said nothing else on the subject.

"So how were your holidays? I bet you did something awesome and expensive, huh?" Konan pressed, her amber eyes sparkling.

"It depends on how you define the word," Itachi said, "but you all think everything my family does is expensive."

"We spent the whole damn summer socializing with rich people!" Tobi complained, "We were told it's supposed to help us _make connections_ or whatever, but it was boring as hell!"

"Yes, it must be _awful_ having a ton of money," Konan said.

"It isn't the money, it's the price," Itachi replied.

"Yeah, rich people are snobby jerks!"

"I don't know. It doesn't sound like too bad a deal to hang out somewhere that costs more than five dollars, with people who have manners and actually use them," Pein mused.

"Sounds better than sneaking out so the debt collectors don't find you," I agreed.

I had a bit of a problem with debt collectors.

"Sounds like a better time than hosing off your good for nothing drunken father an hour before he has to give a sermon at church."

Everyone took a moment to be thankful that, no matter how bad things got, at least we weren't in Hidan's position.

"Yeah, yeah, we get it. We shouldn't complain about being rich around you," Tobi said, "you fucking peasants don't understand our pain."

And right on cue, Hidan took the bait and started an argument which would only escalate as they each shared different, deeper problems which they faced due to their separate situations.

It was hard to say who was worse off, really. I mean, from a less objective point of view, I'd say I had it worse than Tobi did, but if I was just observing, it seemed pretty arguable. After all, rich or poor, we were all in cages. Certain things were expected of Tobi because he came from a respectable family, and certain things were kept out of Hidan's reach because of his father's terrible reputation, and the lack of resources at his disposal. So it was really hard to say who had it worse.

"Hey un, look out!"

As those words were called out, a ball soared towards us – unfortunately this was an everyday hazard at our school – with a vengeance.

Of course, before any of us could even _think_ of flinching, Kisame had caught it. That was how things usually worked, since they always insisted on sitting in the quad.

A torrent of blonde hair and light blue gym clothes raced towards us.

"Nice catch un," the blonde smirked, looking our small group over before saying, "sorry about that un, I told those idiots we should've played on the field, but as far as they're concerned, they're the only ones out here."

"It's alright, I guess," Kisame said, "no harm done, right?"

He threw the ball back as soft as possible and the blonde caught it with ease.

"take your stupid game somewhere else, un!" the blonde yelled, kicking the ball down to the other side of the quad in a surprisingly high arch – another regular occurrence around here – before running after it.

"Well, she was hot," Hidan said.

Honestly, I had to agree with him – _not_ an everyday occurrence – but before I could, Tobi began to giggle. Before long it turned into full blown laughter. Konan also looked slightly amused, and if you knew him as well as I did, you'd be able to tell that Itachi also found this very funny.

When Tobi calmed down from near hysterical laughter, he said, "This is why I don't hate you guys."

Hidan frowned, "what's your problem?" he growled.

"That was a _boy_" Itachi said.

I felt my mouth fall open in shocked horror.

"_What?_" Hidan asked, "But..!"

"His name's Deidara," Tobi continued for his cousin, "he was one of the rich jerks we were forced to get to know over the summer."

"Aw, he doesn't seem so bad," Konan said.

"Are you kidding, he was the worst one!" Tobi exclaimed, "He's just using his rich-guy charm offensive!"

"How come _you_ don't have that?" I asked quickly, before he could continue his rant. I only received a glare as a reply.

Itachi cut in before anything else could be said. "He was recently expelled from private school for… unknown reasons, it must've been bad because his parents paid a lot of money to cover it up. His parents and my parents are good friends, so we'll probably be forced together a little more than I would like."

"But he looks like a chick!" Hidan exclaimed, apparently having not gotten over it yet.

"And _you_ look like a dude, but we don't go on and on about it," Konan said.

It took five minutes and the bell for start of year assembly going off, for Hidan to realise that Konan had just insulted him.

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**Im really hoping this story is recieved well, because i would LOVE to continue it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just got done writing the third chapter, so i decided to post the second, which i wrote yesterday... i have a fairly good system for this and am very happy with the way things are turning out.**

**thank you to my two lovely reviewers and everyone else who've shown their support through following/favoriting. i was really hoping there'd be a good reception of this story cause im really excited over this one.**

* * *

Around lunchtime Thursday of the next week, I was sitting on the roof with Tobi.

We weren't meant to be up there, but it had never stopped us before.

Softball try-outs were today, for both teams. It was Itachi and Konan's favourite sport, since they could both hit the ball twice the distance of the field. We were up on the roof on the off chance that one of them would manage to hit it up here. They tried every year, and hopefully this was their year.

Kisame and Pein were both down there as support, not that it was really needed, and Hidan was in detention for cursing out his math teacher, and we had no idea where Kakuzu had gone.

Tobi and I stared out at the field. We could see Konan's distinctive blue hair clearly from here, though it was a little harder to see Itachi or any of the others.

For a few long moments, it was silent and we just watched. But it was broken after a while of watching nothing special happen.

"Itachi says you still haven't found a job," Tobi said, "How're you planning to stay afloat?"

"No idea. I think I'm going to have to give up food again… and maybe television, for a while," I replied.

If there was one good thing about these people being my friends, it was that I was able to discuss my money problems with them, without the fear of being judged. They also didn't condescendingly try to help me; any suggestions that were given, were either half joking – because if I were desperate enough, a joke would be my new source of income – or completely serious in the best interest of my family. Whenever I spoke to anybody else about it, I always felt like I was useless. Not that that was something I'd ever admit out loud.

"I could get you the money," he offered, as casually as if we were talking about the weather.

"No thanks, I wouldn't feel right about tricking your parents again."

Last year, when things had gotten tough, Tobi had gotten his parents to hire me as his tutor. We did nothing but screw around in his room for two hours every day, though it was nice to spend time in a house with more than three rooms.

"You shouldn't worry about them. They're greedy bastards who don't deserve half of what they have!" Tobi said, "But that wasn't what I meant."

"I'm not doing anything illegal either," I told him. I wasn't that desperate yet.

"Don't worry, that's not what I mean either. See a friend of Itachi's family is flunking all his classes, since he's a complete dumbass. His parents tried to get Itachi as a tutor since everyone thinks the sun shines out of his ass, but his dad said no, so we suggested you."

"And when you say, a friend of his family, you're referring to..?"

Tobi made a gesture towards the field, where a blonde was stepping up to the plate. From where we were, I couldn't see any other distinguishing features, but I knew who he was pointing at anyway.

"I think the real reason Fugaku said no, is because he doesn't like the kid, but he calmed it was because Itachi already has a ton of other responsibilities," Tobi told me, "but Deidara's father is desperate, he's willing to pay triple the price you'd normally get, if you stick around more than a week. Deidara has already scared away six other tutors."

"What makes you think I'd be any good?"

"Because, I've met your cousins, and because your friends with the rest of us. You don't take shit from anyone, and I want to see that kid put in his place."

"You really don't like him do you?" I asked. I was highly amused that Tobi had taken to hating the kid so quickly, though it wasn't exactly a rare thing, it was always funny to watch Tobi act this way.

"Not a single bit. He treats me like some annoying idiot with only half a brain."

"Well then maybe you should stop acting that way around rich people."

Tobi gave me a look that said that was never, _ever_ going to happen.

I didn't want to tutor that kid, even if I'd only met him once, there was something about him that was unnerving, at least to me. It was possibly because I'd found him attractive when I thought he was a girl, and now… well it was _weird_, because he was prettier than _any_ girl I'd _ever_ seen.

Plus, he was rich. And even though Itachi and Tobi had no place saying so, rich people were jerks.

I didn't want to ruin that almost picture perfect memory I had in my mind, of the first time meeting Deidara. And with all the things Tobi and Itachi had said about him, I was almost eighty Percent sure that spending even a little time with him, would be bad.

But I needed the money.

My family was going to go under if I didn't do something soon.

My thoughts were stopped in their tracks by the unusually loud sound of a bat colliding with a ball. Actually, the volume of the sound wasn't particularly unusual since most people at our school were significantly good athletes, but the course and prolonged air time of said ball were definitely out of place. Tobi and I both had to duck as it soared over our heads.

"That idiot!" Tobi exclaimed, sitting himself up right and pointing an outraged finger – assuming every bit of his body was just as outraged as his face – out at the field, where sure enough, Deidara had just accomplished a feat which Konan had been striving for her entire high school career.

Tobi was angry right now but if Itachi had hit that, he'd be happy-ish, or at least in a better mood than right now.

I myself, couldn't take my eyes off of Deidara, who just seemed to get stranger with every small bit of information I picked up.

I really _did_ need the money…

"Do you mind if I take time to think about it?"

* * *

It had been a tough day. Well, the parts where I wasn't outside with people who knew more about me than just my name, anyway.

I hated being around so many people, and the way my teachers spoke to me, or to the entire class really, made it seem like they thought we were just kids; like we weren't capable of making our own decisions, or taking responsibility for anything.

And all of the stuff they were teaching us, seemed so irrelevant with the problems I was facing outside the school walls; the problems that simply wouldn't be solved by any amount of chemistry or calculus or even by wishful thinking.

The only good thing that seemed to happen was that neither of my younger cousins had gotten lost on the way home, or gotten into trouble at school. Even Temari seemed to be happy and doing well, which was honestly more than I'd been hoping for.

The bills came that day while I was at school, I had already spent most days asking around if any of my _friends_ knew where I could get work, and looking through the wanted pages of newspapers and online, but nowhere suitable for me was hiring. And that's when I really started freaking out.

Tobi's offer was still fresh in my mind.

I knew he was only trying to help, but sometimes I felt like they saw me as a charity case. Even though Hidan and Pein and Konan were dirt poor as well, I was the only one looking out for other people as well. Hidan had made a joke once that it was like I'd been _born_ a single father. I had punched him that day, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying as it sounds.

Temari and I sat at the table in a room that tripled as a kitchen, dining room and lounge, late Thursday night, trying to decide which bill we would blow off.

Electricity was definitely important, but if we had it cut off, then we wouldn't need to pay for the television. The rent was none disputable, though we'd save a ton of money if we didn't have to pay _any_ of the bills.

Gaara and Kankuro were on the couch, in the other half of the room, with the TV up high so they couldn't hear my worrying.

"We could save money on food if we only gave them one meal a day," Temari suggested.

"Why don't we just give them one set of clothes while we're at it, and only pay medical bills when they're almost dead?" I asked.

Temari shrugged, "we already share one bed, how much worse do you think it's going to get?"

"That's no big deal; the three of you shared one bed even when you lived with your father."

"Yeah, but we were younger, and smaller, and less aware of our gender differences."

I cringed at what she was implying, but said, "Would you rather switch places with me and sleep on a lumpy couch, instead?"

"The bed's lumpy too," she muttered.

I sighed, but didn't say anything else about it.

"We can blow off the phone bill," she suggested.

"Great, that should get us through the… wait, what's this?" I picked up an envelope that lay unopened beneath the bills spread out over the table. The familiar logo of Gaara's school was printed in the corner. "What's that kid done now?"

I opened the envelope, praying for something positive, but all I received instead was a bill for $150, due to a window Gaara had broken.

"Fuck."

I rarely, if ever, swore when I knew the kids might hear me, but this was a special situation.

Temari took the letter out of my hands and her reaction was pretty much the same.

"What are we going to do?" I asked, collapsing on the table on top of all the stupid bills.

"We could always whore you out?" Temari insisted, "You have the whole shota look going on but you're totally legal, it's the best of both worlds! _Not that I'm into that kind of thing._"

I gave her a flat look but her eager smile didn't falter. "I'm not _that_ desperate yet," I told her, "I'd sell you kids to some creepy guy in an alley before I'd consider selling myself."

I looked over at the two younger kids. They seemed more or less happy, and I knew what I'd just said was a lie. I knew I'd do virtually anything for those two, even if they _were_ destructively annoying.

"Something will come up."

* * *

The next day, I was waiting outside the school for Tobi.

He showed up at eight thirty, like he did every morning, in a car driven by a guy hired by his parents to take _special care_ of him.

He saw me as soon as he stepped out, and said a cheerful goodbye to his driver, before rushing over to me, in the clumsy childish way one would expect of someone with his fake mentality.

I felt like I was buying drugs or hiring an assassin. Yeah, that was the only way to explain what I was feeling.

It wasn't the fact that I was accepting a tutoring job, because I'd done that before, so it was no big deal, it was the fact that I was accepting help from Tobi.

Of all people, it was Tobi who would be the ultimate saviour of my family, and that felt like I was buying drugs.

Or hiring an assassin to kill my problems.

Somehow, that sounded way cooler.

"What's wrong?" Tobi asked, when his car was out of view and he could stop acting, "you look terrible."

"Gaara broke a window," I said.

A look of understanding dawned on him, and he said, "So looks like you'll be needing my help, huh?"

I let out a heavy sigh. Because I really didn't want to do this.

It was like selling your soul to the devil.

But, I really needed the money.

"Fine, but this is the last time."

* * *

**I've mostly got this stuff planned out, by now, but it would be hepful to know what anybody wants to see more of in this, so i can write accordingly ^^. im always open to and actually welcome suggestion.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A man almost broke in through my window last night. i have never been so scared in my life.**

**in other news, here's another chapter ^^**

* * *

You know what's a really _fun_ thing to do with your family on the weekend?

Hang out at a park about a mile away from your house so that if anyone tries to contact you – which they won't be able to anyway since your phone has been disconnected – you have the excuse that you weren't at home. This also helps to save on electricity, which is always good.

You should probably stay out _all_ day too, and only start walking – yeah, walking, because you no longer have any money for public transportation – home after the sun sets.

Unfortunately that was one of the most common outings for my family.

Gaara was still at the age where he could have fun – providing he's capable of it – on a playground, and both Kankuro and Temari were old enough to understand that sometimes, it was necessary to hide from the place you lived.

"We should just live out here," Temari said when we were walking home on Sunday night. Kankuro was lagging behind, carrying a sleeping Gaara with him. "At least then we'd have more money for food."

"Shut up, it's going to get better," I told her, "it won't be like this forever."

She completely ignored me and said, "Well at least we'll get used to being dirt poor, so we'll know how to deal with it when we grow up."

"You're not going to end up like this. _You're_ going to college. Then _you_ can see what it's like to provide for a horde of ungrateful brats."

"Hey I _offered_ to get a job last year. _You_ said no."

I shook my head, "damn right I did. You need to focus on your studies; put those brains to good use and get yourself a scholarship."

"Yeah well, I'm gonna have to get a job anyway in two years when you go off to college, wouldn't it be better if I had experience beforehand?"

I didn't answer that, because I hadn't quite figured out how to tell my family that I wasn't going to college. I didn't know how they would react, after all the crap I'd given them about their futures and about studying hard – even though I didn't believe in any of that myself. But they needed me here, more than I needed that golden future that surely awaited me on the other side of a college degree.

"Just shut up, okay? I've got things sorted this time around. Trust me."

* * *

"Trust me, it'll be _fun_," Tobi assured me.

It was after school Monday, the official start of my new job.

At least Tobi had been right about one thing; these people were desperate enough to pay me _any_ price, and Itachi had already negotiated one that would suit my needs perfectly. I would be paid for the entire week in advance, the money would be deposited into my account by the end of the day and it would be enough to completely take care of my problems from last month, so I needed to stick around for at least five days.

Things were going to be alright, as long as I could handle spending time with Deidara for a week.

Things would be fine.

Yeah, I was going to show Temari that I could handle things alone! She could depend on me! I was a _capable_ caregiver!

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked Tobi. He was dragging me through the school, which was all but deserted by now.

Whenever I had had a tutoring job before, I'd always been taken to the person's house, though it was understandable that a person as rich as Tobi, wouldn't want a potential thief in their home.

"Library ~" Tobi all but sang.

"Itachi already told you that you can't stay and watch, right?"

Tobi sighed, "Yeah I know. I have to go home anyway; Mr Zetsu will be here to pick me up soon!"

"I don't know why your parents don't let you take the train home like Itachi."

"Itachi doesn't take the train anymore; his parents got him a car over the summer. And besides, they're probably worried that I'll get lost or something. "

Or that he wouldn't.

"All the more reason to break their rules and take the train anyway, right? It'd freak them the hell out, wouldn't it?"

"Yeah, but if I did that, then Mr Zetsu would be fired for not watching me properly and we can't have that."

"Wow, I've never seen you take to somebody so quickly before," _or at all._

Tobi shrugged, "I tolerate him, is all. But if I got him fired, I could end up with someone a lot worse."

Well, he had a point there.

When we reached the library door, Tobi stopped me, probably for some mental preparation.

"Okay, so Deidara is taking advanced physics, world history, P.E, calculus, English, chem lab and sculpture II. From what I've been told, he's flunking everything except P.E, so this'll probably be tough. Especially since the guy is such a jerk."

I almost wanted to laugh at his unfailing, persistent insistence that Deidara was a jerk, though he probably knew a lot better than I did, but I was willing to give Deidara the benefit of the doubt.

"If I can handle you, then I should be able to handle him," I said.

Tobi ignored the fact that I was obviously insulting him and said, sincerely, "I hope your right. I have to go now so good luck."

He raced off down the hall, deciding to put his Tobi face on before even getting outside, and I headed into the library.

Deidara wasn't the only one there, but he was the only one I could bring myself to notice. He was sitting at a table near the back, his face buried in his backpack and books neatly piled on the table beside him. He looked up when I pulled out the chair beside him and sat down.

I hadn't noticed how blue his eyes were before.

"Oh un, it's _you,_" he said. There was a certain level of disappointment in his voice, as he forced himself to sit up straight, and somehow that disappointment seemed to get to my head.

But I didn't let it show.

"Were you expecting someone else?" I asked.

"Kind of, un," he said, "when Itachi said he was getting one of his friends to tutor me, I didn't think he meant _you._"

Huh, what was wrong with _me?_

Deidara sighed at length and said, "we might as well get this over with, huh, un?"

"Why do you speak like that?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Like what, un?"

"Like _that._ I noticed it before, when we first met. Do you have a speech impediment, or are you just trying to be annoying?"

Deidara laughed, and I hate to say this – really I do – but the sound was almost enchanting. Probably that _rich guy charm offensive_ Tobi had mentioned before; a practised feat to gather the trust and admiration of simple people, who led simple lives.

"It's an impediment, un. My father made me see a doctor for it a few years back but nothing ever changed un," he said. I couldn't tell whether or not he was telling the truth, but I wanted to believe him.

"Okay, so which subject are you struggling the most with?" I asked him. I was glad we took mostly the same classes, and that I had done most of this work last year. It was never very easy tutoring people my own age, since I barely understood the work myself.

Deidara pushed the Calculus book over towards me. Easy.

I opened the book and he reached over, to flip to the pages his class was working through that day. It was easy stuff, really; I had been put into the junior calculus class halfway through last year since I was working a lot faster than the rest of my own class. I had him point to the questions he'd had the most trouble with, which unfortunately turned out to be all of them. Of course, I figured if he got the first few questions in each section right, then it was a job well done.

He seemed like a reasonably nice guy, I really didn't know what Itachi and Tobi had been talking about. Until…

"So how do you know the Uchiha's, un?" we had paused halfway through his physics work because apparently his brain hurt – an excuse I had heard Tobi give many times before.

"I don't know, we sort of just _met,_" I told him. It was the honest truth, as well.

"That's unlucky, un," he said, and before I could ask him what he meant, he said, "Itachi says you're kind of desperate for cash, un."

I doubted Itachi would use those exact words, but it was weird that he'd mention anything abbot my problems at all.

"Well, I guess you could kind of say that," I agreed.

Deidara nodded thoughtfully, before he said, "Alright then, I have a proposition, un. Whatever my parents are paying you to be here, I'll pay you double if you quit."

"What?" I asked, shocked and for a moment, forgetting myself.

"I can't have a tutor, un," he said, "I don't want one and I sure as hell don't want to stay here in this, or any stupid school. But you seem like a tough one to crack, plus you haven't been patronising or mean like the other tutors were un, so I don't want to let this get to a point where I'll be forced to do something drastic."

I allowed myself a few moments to try and comprehend his words. What was he talking about? Why was he saying these things? What was the right choice?

But I knew the answer to that last one already, so it was easy to say, "No."

"_Excuse me,_ un?"

I got the feeling he wasn't used to being denied.

"It works out for me in the long run if I keep this job, so I have to turn you down. Not because I want to be here, but because I need to be."

Deidara sighed, "That's disappointing," he said. He perked up a few moments later and said, "Okay un, but how about this? Since you need money, I'll give you fifty dollars to sit at my feet and bark like a dog, un."

Is it bad that I actually considered doing it?

"No, _brat_," I said, yeah that sounded like a fitting name for him, "and your break is over."

* * *

On the way home after _two hours_ with Deidara, I stopped to check if the money had been deposited yet.

It had.

I had never been more relieved in my life. Isn't that sad?

But I knew how surprised my cousins would be when I came back with food which normal people would eat – and not the stuff which is three days from expiring like we usually bought – and money to pay the phone bill, and the electric bill too, which we had had to sacrifice in order to keep Gaara in school.

I tried not to think about what a nightmare student Deidara was, as I walked.

If I thought about it too much, I knew I would just cave and refuse to work with him anymore. And at the rate these people were paying me, I _really_ couldn't afford to do that just yet.

Still, in two hours, I had discovered that Deidara was every bit as obnoxious, rude, stuck up and bratty, as Tobi had said he was. It was like, every time he opened his mouth, he spewed out a pile of self-absorbed crap; either that or he was talking about the faults of everybody else in the world. It was as though he saw himself as perfect and other people as selfish, mean, unmannered slobs.

He was so up himself, too, always offering me stupid amounts of money to do ridiculous things, because apparently, studying was _boring,_ and I wasn't nearly as fun as his other tutors, who I was guessing he'd been able to manipulate like puppets with his money and his charm. But even though I was poor, I had a lot more pride then those idiots must've had.

Honestly though, it had taken everything I had, not to punch him, after the second time badmouthing Tobi. I knew I shouldn't care about that, because he didn't know Tobi for the conniving little bastard that he truly was, but that was the thing that got me most.

Everything Deidara said was said without experience or prior knowledge. He spoke without thinking, without considering the stories of other people. It was like, he took a look at somebody, and instantly decided what kind of a person they must be, what kind of life they must live, what mistakes they must've made and the things they could've done better.

And if so, if that were the case, then what on earth did he think of me?

Even though I had decided to hate him, there was still this part deep down inside of me that held on to that perfect image of him, from when we'd first. Even after I had found out he was a guy, I still thought he was… _something._ But not like this.

I had never imagined the reality.

When I got home I had to knock on the door, since my hands were too full to twist the handle.

It was cold out; our building had outdoor halls so I had to put up with the temperature until one of my cousins let me in.

"We're not home, come back later!" I heard Kankuro call out.

He probably thought I was a collector.

He was such an idiot sometimes.

"It's me, let me in," I called, hoping they'd recognise my voice.

Only a few seconds later, Gaara was pulling the door open, and Temari was taking shopping bags out of my hands.

"What are you doing?" she asked, "we can't afford this!" she rifled through the bags quickly, before coming to this conclusion.

"Sure we can!" I said cheerfully, or as cheerful as possible, pulling out what was left of the money I'd gotten from the ATM, which would be used to pay the bills. There was still a bit left, just in case we needed it later.

"What'd you do, knock off a liquor store?" Gaara asked, shifting through the bags on the counter until he found the Oreo cookies, which Temari promptly snatched off of him, because he hadn't had dinner yet.

"No way! He robbed a bank!" Kankuro argued, "Were there police? Did they have their sirens on? Did you get shot at?"

I had to resist the urge to bang my head repeatedly against the wall. "You know you're both idiots, right?"

Kankuro nodded sullenly, while Gaara was still too caught up with his cookies.

"But you love them anyway," Temari said, "and I hope you didn't take out a loan, because I won't be there to protect you if they come to break your legs in a week."

Pft, like I'd need her help anyway!

"Are you kidding me?! I got a _job_. You remember what that is, right? Is it so hard to believe I found one?" I asked, annoyed at their united lack of faith in me.

"Yes, it is," they all said.

"Well screw you guys, nobody asked you!"

"You did!" Kankuro disagreed.

I left the room before I was forced to endure any more stupid.


	4. Chapter 4

**Feeling really disheartened right now. i finlly got around to telling my parents that i like girls (yeah that's a thing guys, im a Yaoi loving individual who likes girls and can't stand the thought of being with a man) and you know what? they didn't believe me.**

**so yeah, feeling really sad right now. sorry if that reflects in my writing.**

* * *

"Oh man, I hate waking up!" Temari complained as she dragged herself out of their shared bedroom.

"Yeah well how do you think I feel?" I asked, "I get eight hours of peace a night before I wake up and remember I live with you three."

"Aw, you love us anyway!" she called out, disappearing into the bathroom.

The boys dragged themselves out of the room slowly and sat themselves down at the table.

Sometimes I forgot that they were just children – for the most part anyway – but it was hard not to remember when they were walking around, pyjama clad and worn out, after a night of midnight train interrupted sleep.

"What's that smell?" Gaara asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly. Unfortunately Gaara was a really light sleeper, so he didn't really get a lot of the stuff, due to the noise. He had dark lines around his eyes that proved his lack of sleep, and a few odd personality quirks that added to it.

"I made breakfast," I announced. It felt great to say that, because it meant we had money for food to actually have breakfast. "I also made lunch."

Kankuro perked up instantly at the mention of food. "Are you serious?" he asked, "am I still dreaming?"

"I hope not kid, cause that's a pretty sad sounding dream world," I replied.

It felt wonderful to have my family's finances under control again for the time being, and the smiles on their faces were definitely worth what I knew I would later have to endure.

It felt like things went smoother that morning, than they had been going since school started up. My cousins were happier, they got ready faster, we left on time and didn't have to run to catch the train – which we had to do sometimes even though we lived right beside it – and I just felt as though I didn't have to worry about Gaara messing up at school or anything like that.

I made sure Temari knew she would be home alone with the kids after school again that day, and every day for the rest of the week, but I knew I could trust her. They were _her_ brothers, after all, and as long as they behaved themselves I knew I could count on her to keep them relatively alive.

The train stopped outside the Uni-tech building like it did every morning, but I didn't feel that looming sense of dread that I usually felt. I knew this probably wasn't going to be a good day, because I had so few of those as it was, but from the way things were going, I knew at least, that things were going to be alright.

* * *

"So how was it?"

Tobi looked as though he had waited _all day_ to ask that question.

We were in the quad, sitting around. All of us, which usually made for trouble but it seemed things were getting to that nice, tranquil place they usually ended up before school became truly chaotic.

Deidara was there with his friends as well, it seemed like he was always moving around, tossing around a ball with a bunch of kids I didn't know. It seemed to highlight the real difference between the two of us. Out here, he was so different, and looking at him spawned this sort of nostalgic feeling inside of me, of the first day of school when we first sort of met.

I couldn't help but notice the way he was constantly looking over at us, throwing fleeting glances in our direction every few minutes, and looking away quickly when he saw me looking back, sparing only a cheeky kind of smirk before turning his attention back to what he'd been doing before.

"Hm, what do you mean?" I asked, if only to annoy Tobi, as payback for landing me with a shitty job.

"Don't fuck around right now," Tobi almost growled, "tell me what happened."

"Well congratulations, thanks to you, I've lost all faith in a little something called human decency."

Tobi laughed and patted my head as though I were a child, which I automatically swatted away, scowling at him. Though it was true, in some areas Tobi knew a lot more than I did, but that didn't make it alright for him to touch me.

"That's something I lost a long time ago," he told me.

"Aw, cut him a little slack," Konan said, giving her usual smile, "I think it's _cute_ that he still believes people other than us will ever be nice to him."

"Not that your all that nice anyway," Hidan muttered.

Konan laughed as though she'd misheard, though it was really a warning for Hidan to take it back. "Excuse me?" she asked. The look in her eyes dared Hidan to talk back.

Hidan held her stare for a moment longer, before folding.

"Nothing," he growled.

"So are you going to stick with it?' Itachi asked, ignoring the rest of the conversation.

"Of course he will! Sasori's no quitter!" Tobi quickly answered for me.

"Well then you should know his parents are going to judge your performance based on his mark in the test Tomorrow," Itachi told me.

"What test? I wasn't told about that!"

"Of course you weren't, the kid wants you to fail," Tobi stated. "We're having a physics test tomorrow. None of his other tutors have ever managed to improve his grades, so maybe you'll be a first!"

"What's the point? He could just tank the test even if I did do a good job."

"As bad a person he is, that isn't something he would do," Itachi said, "from what I know about the people before you, he prefers a fair fight, so to speak. He'd rather get into your head and use whatever weakness he can find, rather than taking such an easy way out."

"That's great. I can't think of anything that really gets under my skin, so it should be good."

My words were met with mocking laughter from almost all of my friends – except those with too many manners or too little enthusiasm to do so.

"Are you fucking kidding? I can think of eight things right now!" Hidan cackled.

"Yeah but –"

"You're the most impatient person I know," Konan agreed, pointing out what I would allow to be named, one of my biggest flaws.

"That's hardly fair!"

"That kid is going to eat you alive," Itachi said solemnly.

Right after that, I thought I heard Tobi say, "in more ways than one."

Instead of insulting my personality like the others had, Kakuzu just handed me a newspaper and said, "I'd start looking for something else, if I were you," he said.

"You _really_ have this little faith in me?" I asked the all. Where the hell had Kakuzu even gotten a newspaper anyway?! Did he just carry these around to express his overall doubt of my ability to hold down a job?

"Pretty much," Pein said in that uncaring voice of his.

Great. First my family now my friends.

* * *

"I don't understand, un!"

At this point, I was about ready to give up. Maybe burn the books. Maybe burn the entire building.

Konan had been right when she said I was impatient, and this was the sixth time in literally ten minutes, that we had had to stop because Deidara was having problems keeping up.

Itachi had filled me in on the things they'd been studying in class, and the things which would most likely be on the test. I remembered taking the same course last year, and we were relearning most of the stuff in my own physics class anyway, so I knew it wasn't my explanations which were confusing him. No, the only logical reason was that Deidara was a complete idiot.

I took a deep breath and counted to five – I generally didn't have the patience to count to ten – like I'd been forced to many times before when helping Gaara and Kankuro with their classes. They were just as annoying as this, _and_ I didn't get paid for helping them until they were grown up and rich.

"We've been over this _eight times_," I said, doing my best to keep calm and not make it obvious how annoyed I was.

"But it's _hard_, un!" he complained.

If he were one of my cousins, I could just lock him in his room with his books and notes until he was ready to try again. But that probably wouldn't go over well in a situation like this.

"If you don't like it, why'd you take the class?" I asked.

It was almost time for me to go home, we'd spent the better part of two hours completing the work he had for his other classes, because he refused to go near his physics material until everything else was done.

We hadn't even covered _half_ of the things Itachi had mentioned.

"Un, I never said I didn't like it, I just said it was hard," he replied.

"That makes no sense!" I yelled, before remembering my place and saying, "why are you such an idiot?"

"That's not very nice, un!" he exclaimed, "I'm not an idiot, I just have trouble learning all these formulas and stuff, un!"

"Are you _kidding?_" I asked, beyond frustrated by now, "it's just like Calculus, you're _good_ at calculus, why can't you be good at physics?"

Deidara shrugged. "Can't we do more history stuff, un?" he asked.

"No brat. Your history assignment isn't due until next week, so you can either work on it by yourself, or after school tomorrow. This is more important right now," I told him, "this is basic stuff, seriously. We'll start at the beginning with one dimensional motion. The formulas are right here, so you don't have to remember them all right away."

"Your annoyingly persistent, un," Deidara sighed, lifting his head from his arms where he'd been resting during our argument, "my last tutor would've flipped the table by now and stormed out. He wasn't a very nice guy though, un."

"and you're annoyingly uncooperative," I countered, scrawling down one of the equations we'd covered in my own class that day, which related to what I was trying to teach him now, "if you don't want to pay attention in class, that's fine. But as long as your parents are still paying me, you're learning this stuff one way or the other."

He let out a sullen sigh, "you're so mean un," he said.

Whatever, that was the least of my concerns right now.

The next twenty minutes were more productive than the entire day had been. I couldn't tell if he'd just been testing the waters before and pretending to be a slow learner, but I didn't care because we were making progress and it seemed like he was definitely going to pass.

I hadn't decided whether or not I would keep this job after this one week trial thing, but at least I knew that, if I had to, I'd be able to do this for the rest of however long it was required.

I was feeling fairly confident by the time we were kicked out of the library. We were the only ones left there and took our time packing away our things while the elderly librarian went off to answer the phone.

"I don't suppose it'd be any use asking you to study at home?" I asked. I had barely anything to take with me so I was ready to go, but I waited for him anyway, since it was dark outside and this wasn't a good place to be outside alone. Of course, it was different for poor people like me; so I wasn't worried.

"I don't know un, I might pull through just to throw you off," he said with a smile.

It was a good thing he didn't know just how much that smile threw me off already. Part of me was still caught up in that memory I had of him from the first day. I mean, if he just never, ever opened his mouth again, he'd be bearable. He was actually kind of cute, so long as he wasn't babbling on about shit that made him sound like a complete bastard.

Wait what?!

He was a _guy_! Guys weren't _cute_! Even if he did look really feminine. That didn't make it okay!

I had never had these sort of conflicting feelings before, actually to be honest I'd never felt anything towards anybody except a kind of platonic love for my cousins and tolerance for my friends, so you can probably understand why this would be so confusing.

Deidara continued to smile at me, having packed away all of his books, he made a gesture suggesting we get going and I followed after him in distracted sort of zombie state, too busy thinking things over to bother paying attention to anything, until we were stopped by the librarian on our way out.

"Is one of you Sasori?" she asked, holding out the phone to us.

"Yeah, that's me," I said, taking the phone from her. I knew I was late, but not enough to make my cousins worry. That made _me_ worry about why they'd bothered to call. "Hello?"

"Hey where are you?" Temari's voice was easily recognisable, even though such an old phone.

"I'm still at school Temari, did something happen?" I asked, feeling increasingly worried as she took her time to answer.

"Not really, I mean I wouldn't get too worried, it's just that your genius little cousins let a game of _I dare you_ get just a _little_ too far," she told me calmly.

"What do you mean, what happened?" I could feel Deidara watching me as I began to freak out, just a little bit, but Gaara and Kankuro were morons and had done extremely idiotic things on occasion when nobody was around, "weren't you supposed to be watching them?"

"Yeah, I was. But you know how tricky they can be! I looked away for like two seconds and the next moment Gaara tells me Kankuro was throwing up a frog."

"What? Where the hell did they even _get_ a frog?!" I was yelling at that point, "what the hell is wrong with them?!"

"I don't know, I think Gaara stole it from his class. I think we should take Kankuro to the hospital to get his stomach pumped or something, he seemed really sick."

Had it been a week earlier, I would've refused and told Temari to just wait it out, but since I had the relative security of this job, I said, "Alright, I'll meet you there. Don't let them out of your sight again until I get there."

With those words, I hung up and placed the phone down before rushing out of the building, running a hand through my hair in the way that stressed out people usually did. Damn my cousins and their stupid ideas of entertainment! But thank god I'd paid the bills in time or Temari would've had a harder time contacting me.

I heard Deidara running after me, and slowed down after remembering why I had been there in the first place.

"Hey un, sounded like one hell of a call, what happened?" he asked, once he'd caught up to me.

You know, walking through the school halls at night was kind of creepy as hell.

"It's nothing. Just a small problem with my cousins is all, nothing I haven't dealt with before," I told him, "they're like three miniature yous."

"Aw un, I didn't know Danna had a family!" he said excitedly, his blue eyes seemed to light up and he gave another smile.

"Don't call me that," I told him, "and don't talk about my family, they're none of your concern."

He laughed that weirdly enchanting laugh and said, "That's adorable Danna un, you think there's thing in your life that doesn't concern me. Now that you're my tutor I have the right to know everything about you!"

I sighed, realising he wasn't going to drop the nickname. As for the whole _knowing everything about me_ thing, I decided not to worry about it. He was rich, sure, but basically harmless.

That's what I thought anyway, until the next day during morning break, leaving the main building with Temari.

* * *

**So, i have this all bascially planned out, but i'd be really interested to see how my readers think this is going to turn out.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow, so many compliments on my take on Tobi. yeah, i really hate it when he's potrayed as a complete moron, so i try really hard to stay away from that. i like conniving Tobi, and try to write him like that in every story i write because he's more fun like that!**

**also, i'd like to dedicate this chapter to Happii Haden, for inspiring me to be happy again!**

* * *

I had barely any sleep the night before, due to my cousins idiotic behaviour. I mean seriously, who the hell steals their classes pet frog, just to bring it home and dare their brother to eat it?

The worst part is, Gaara probably realised it would make Kankuro sick. Hell, that's probably why he did it! He was probably sitting in class all day, staring back at that frog every five minutes thinking _wouldn't it be fucking hilarious to steal that? I bet my brother is dumb enough to eat it!_

Sometimes I really hate those kids.

Anyway, the reason I didn't get much sleep, was that I didn't get home until about one in the morning. And after that, Temari insisted we do something about it, to try and help Gaara to understand it was bad to intentionally hurt or sicken someone. That had been a huge waste of time; since I was almost a hundred Percent sure that he had no conscience anyway. He just stared at us with that blank look on his face as though he couldn't even hear us talking.

One day, we would have to get him tested.

So I was sort of dragging myself through my classes that day, almost falling asleep in my chem lab class, in the middle of an experiment. Luckily, I guess my lab partner had things under control, 'cause nothing exploded or even went remotely wrong.

I didn't wake up properly until morning break, when I was practically sleep walking onto the quad from the tech building near the back of the school. I looked up just in time to see the door of the main building open and Deidara step out with Temari.

Usually, I cut off all and any contact she had with the opposite sex as soon as I saw it – as a good pseudo parent does – but this time, I was stopped in my tracks by Tobi.

"Be cool dude," he said, pulling me aside as soon as he saw me. He'd probably just come out of PE, since he was still in his gym clothes, "this is what Itachi was telling you about yesterday."

"Yeah but… this is _different!_" I insisted, even as my brain was making the connection.

"No it's not. Come and sit down with us before you do something stupid," Tobi said, dragging me over to where the others were sitting.

I allowed him to lead me across the quad, and I sat down where I would be in clear view of them. They had opted to sit on the far side of the quad, with nothing obstructing my view of them, probably Deidara's idea.

I wanted to know what they were talking about but it made me angry to think about it. I could only sit and watch as he made her laugh and gave a smile which seemed only half as bright as the one I had seen the night before, and cast cheeky glances in my direction. He knew I was watching, and that it was getting to me. Obviously that had been part of his plan but that didn't make it affect me any less. In fact I think that knowledge made it exponentially worse.

I was ready to completely disregard Tobi's warning and any other consequences which might come up, but I knew I still had Kankuro's medical bills to worry about so I turned my attention to my friends instead.

"So did you two make it onto the team?" Tobi was asking.

I had almost forgotten about the whole baseball thing.

I don't really know what they do in other school districts or in other cities, but where we lived, baseball was the biggest sport for schools, and we just so happened to be the best. I didn't even know why Tobi was asking, because he knew both Itachi and Konan got on the team every year without fail.

"Yep," Konan confirmed cheerfully, "I wish they would let me on the boys team though. There's not really much competition for the girls team."

"That's because sports are for men," Hidan told her.

"Is that why you don't play any?" Kakuzu asked disinterestedly.

Cue psychotic rant.

"We have like, two games every season, before the other schools just decide to call it quits and we end up winning by default," Konan continued, over the sound of arguing. "Meanwhile, all those other idiotic schools maintain belief that they actually stand a chance against our boys' team, and they get a full season!"

"It's probably because the boys' team isn't as good as the girls'," Pein said, I hadn't even realised he'd been paying attention, "which is why none of the other schools back down from their challenge."

"Hmm, I hadn't thought about it like that," Konan said.

"So when do you guys start playing?" Kisame asked. I hated going to watch their games, but my cousins liked it well enough, so it wasn't all bad.

"Next week Friday," Konan answered.

From there, it seemed like conversation died down again, though it was probably just that my mind was elsewhere. Tobi kept a close eye on me so that I didn't do anything stupid though, so I remained in my seat for the entire break, just watching and waiting for Deidara to make a move.

Itachi had mentioned that he would try to get into my head, and it was working damn well right now. If there was one sure fire way to annoy me, it was through my cousins, especially Temari. I know it may seem a little sexist, but she's a girl, there are more consequences for girls when they get close to people. I'm already raising three kids that aren't mine, I don't want another one.

The bell for third period rang, and I was planning to let it go because I knew Temari would tell me all about it later anyway – she had an annoying habit of assuming I actually cared about what she said – but as we were getting up to head to our respective classes, I looked over one last tie, being the slightly paranoid person I am, and saw Temari jumping up and down happily before hugging Deidara. He looked shocked for a moment, and stayed completely still, probably not expecting that particular reaction to whatever it was that he said, but it didn't stop me from getting mad – another thing Konan should've mentioned when we were talking about my weaknesses, should've been my temper.

Temari rushed off so she wouldn't be late for class, giving me the perfect opportunity.

I heard Itachi say, "Should we stop him," as I felt my body move on its own.

Tobi just said, "nah, let's just go to class so we can pretend we had nothing to do with it."

I could picture them all leaving, Hidan and Konan would both have to be dragged off, though for different reasons, and the other three would just leave, not wanting to be witnesses to the crime I was surely about to commit.

"Hey, what the hell is your problem!" I was sure I felt every eye remaining in the quad, turn to stare at me as I yelled from halfway across it.

Deidara didn't even look fazed, probably because he knew this was going to happen the moment he decided to mess with my family – which was probably the same moment he found out I actually had one – he just smirked over at me and said, "where do you want me to start, un?"

"Why don't you start by telling me what the hell you think you're doing going near my family?"

The smirk never left his face; I guessed this was the reaction he had been hoping for. "Nothing un, we were just talking," he said.

Every word that came out of his mouth seemed more infuriating than the last. But I wasn't going to do anything. that would be setting a bad example for Gaara. That would be extremely hypocritical of me. I was a _good_ caregiver, I _knew_ where the line was, I knew the limit of things which should and shouldn't be done.

I had _excellent_ self-control.

"Yeah, what about?" I all but growled.

He shrugged, smiling brightly, that annoying smile which threw me off a little every time I saw it. "Oh, lots of stuff, un," he said, "It's amazing how much people are willing to talk when you pay them. I wonder what else she would do for money."

Oh, well there goes my self-control.

I had punched him before I even realised it, hard enough to send him to the ground. But he had it coming! Luckily there was nobody around to see it.

"Stay the hell away from my family!" I yelled. Nobody talks about my cousins like that except me, dammit!

I wasn't surprised when he started to laugh. He seemed like the type to do so in a situation like this, if only to further annoy the person he'd pissed off enough to hurt him.

"Wow un, Temari mentioned your temper, but she didn't say anything about the violence!" he exclaimed, his voice was all nasally as he pinched his nose to stop it from bleeding and tilted his head backwards. "You know, I've never been hit before un, this is great!"

Huh?

"What the hell are you talking about, brat?"

He ignored my question and got up slowly, his legs shaking a little, "I've never been in a fight either, un," he said, "hit me again!" followed by a laugh, but not the weirdly enchanting one I'd grown accustomed to, it was the insane laugh from just before.

I felt my anger melt away to be replaced by concern, similar to what I felt when something happened between me and my cousins.

"Sounds like I hit you too hard the first time," I said.

I didn't want to feel bad about it, but I did, so I grabbed him by his stupid blonde hair and started walking. "Come on, I'm taking you to the nurses office."

"Never been to the nurse's office, un," he said, keeping time with me so I wasn't pulling his hair too hard.

"Really? I'm genuinely surprised."

"People at my old school were boring un," he said, "they were too caught up with maintaining appearances and stuff, that they never reacted the way I wanted them to."

"so you thought now that you go to public school, you'd take advantage of the fact that poor people have no appearances to uphold?"

"What can I say, un? I love new experiences."

Yet another strange fact about him.

"Well that's fine, but don't go searching for them with my cousin. Just because your rich doesn't mean I won't hurt you," I warned.

"Don't worry un, those experiences wouldn't be new to me, so I have no reason for seeking them here," he told me, "besides, Temari seems like a nice girl but she really isn't my type, un."

We had to stop talking for a moment when we first entered the nurse's office. We made up some stupid lie about how he'd gotten hurt, and she took us into one of the back rooms. I decided I would wait with him until he stopped bleeding, because I had English, which was one of my least favourite subjects.

"Temari told me that you've been taking care of her and her brothers for three years un," Deidara said.

"Yeah, I guess it has been that long."

"When Itachi told me about you, I figured you were an orphan who lived alone, un. How come you take care of your cousins anyway, un? They're not your responsibility; they're not even directly related to you, un."

I shrugged, "because I love them, I guess. You do know what that means, right?"

"In theory un, yes. I don't think I've ever seen it for real."

Weird.

"Anyway, somebody has to look after them," I continued, "to make sure they live the best life possible, go to school and college and get good qualifications and stuff, so they don't end up living in a shitty apartment taking care of three kids and barely making ends meet."

"But un, wouldn't it be easier to let someone else handle them, and just take of yourself?"

"Well yeah, easier on the wallet but not on the heart," I said, I thought about it for a moment, wondering whether or not it would be weird to ask, but I decided I wanted the answer more than I wanted to look normal, "are you telling me there's nobody in this world that you love, or even care about?"

And he seemed to seriously consider his answer, to the point where it looked painful to even think. "We only do as we learn at home, I guess, un," he said, "which is why your cousins will probably end up being really great people."

"Yeah, either that or they'll end up psychopaths. One of them is already heading towards that direction."

Deidara laughed, though it sounded weird, it was definitely a happy kind of laugh. "Yeah un, Temari told me about your youngest cousin," he said. "And un, I'm really sorry."

"For what, being a complete jerk all the time?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"No un, _I'm not a jerk!_" he exclaimed. I had to fight the urge to laugh at his nasally voice. "I'm sorry that you're a nice guy, un. Because I can't have a tutor, I can't do well at school, I can't stay here. So I'm sorry un, that until I figure out a way to get myself expelled from this stupid school, I'll just have to try and make you quit. I hope that you'll accept my apology in advance, un."

"Whatever brat," I said, "I don't even know if I'll be able to keep this job longer than a week. But if I do, there's really nothing you can do to make me quit." Though I hadn't yet decided if I would keep the job even if Deidara did manage to pass.

His eyes brightened momentarily and he said, "Un, I just remembered I have a test next period!"

"Do you think you'll pass?"

"Well un, I have physics again first period tomorrow, so I guess we'll find out."

* * *

That night, my cousins and I had pizza for the first time in months.

I know, it's irresponsible wasting money on pizza when I barely have enough to get through a normal week as it is, but you know what else is irresponsible? Letting my cousins go without pizza for an extended period of time.

We ate together, listening to Kankuro's idiotic lies about what he'd done at school that day – at least I hoped they were lies – and Gaara's renewed enemies list. I was hardly paying attention to them though, being too busy thinking of a tactful way to ask Temari what the hell she thought she was doing.

I didn't think of anything the entire meal except what had happened earlier that day, so when Gaara and Kankuro had finished eating and retreated to the other side of the room where the TV was, I brought it up.

"I thought I told you not to talk to strange guys," yes, that seemed tactful enough.

Of course, I would've used the word _strangers_ but being the sexist person I apparently was, I had never warned Temari against speaking to strange women.

We were taking care of the almost non-existent mess our meal had made, but she stopped in the process of picking up a plate, to look over at me in amusement.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, in a voice that said she clearly knew what I was talking about, and was finding this whole thing freaking hilarious.

"Don't play dumb with me Temari; I'm really not in the mood."

She resumed what she'd been doing, a smile on her face, and said, "aside from finding him slightly creepy, I think the two of you are very _cute._"

For a moment it felt like I was going to choke on nothing, as I struggled to find words.

"Wh-what the hell!"

She laughed and seemed to ignore what I had said and everything that had been said before that. "So that boy, Deidara, right? He came up to me this morning after second period, asking me to tell him everything I knew about you, he wouldn't tell me how he knew you or why he wanted the information, but I'm guessing he's the boy you've been tutoring recently?"

I nodded, feeling a little numb at actually hearing about this.

"What did you tell him?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"Everything! He was really interested to hear every little detail of your life, so I told him about it. I didn't think I'd get anything in return; I just wanted to take an opportunity to screw you over. But when I was done, he told me his family was rich and since I'd helped him out a lot, he was going to pay for Kankuro's hospital bills. I don't know how he knew about all of that, but I'm sure glad we don't have to worry about paying them."

Wait, what?

"So, that's why you hugged him?" I asked. It was beginning to make a weird amount of sense now.

"Yeah! I was beginning to think all older people were mean!"

I had this weird urge right then, to pat her head in the patronising way which Tobi had done to me the day before. She still had so much left to learn.

The next day, as I was making my way towards second period world history, I was caught in the hall by Deidara who looked awfully happy about something.

He never usually approached me during school hours, so I was curious.

"What do you want, brat?"

He just smirked and stopped right in front of me, forcing me to stop as well. He held up a sheet of paper which I recognised as his physics test. I could see in the top corner in distinct red pen, _100%._

Hell, he had actually pulled through!

He smiled up at me and said quietly, "looks like you'll be sticking around for a while, Danna, un."


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so i had work yesterday which is why i couldn't update.**

**forgive me? yeah, i thought so.**

**anyways, i wanted this to be longer, but ideas are hard to come by and i had to keep to curfew.**

**so... enjoy ^^**

* * *

The rest of that week went by fine, with only minimal problems along the way.

Despite having his ups and downs, Deidara was still a complete, idiotic jerk about ninety Percent of the time, and the other ten Percent, he was just a kid, who didn't know anything and seemed to find it extremely annoying.

I liked talking to him, the person I believed he really was, when he wasn't saying stupid things or insulting Tobi and Itachi – though that seemed to be one of his favourite things to do. I liked it when he seemed almost like a real person, with a real personality, when he spoke about things he liked and things that made him happy, and even sometimes when he spoke about things that scared him.

Sometimes he would ask questions about me, or my family – I was more reluctant to talk about my cousins than I probably should've been – which I was sure he already knew the answers to, either from Temari or Itachi, but I answered anyway, because I liked talking to him, and I didn't want it to stop.

Then Monday came, and I still had the job, the only thing was, over the weekend I had come to a conclusion.

I loved spending time with Deidara, he was a hell of a lot different than my normal friends, hell sometimes I thought he behaved more like a girl than Konan did, with the amount he gossiped. It seemed like he knew everything about everybody, hell I didn't even know half of the people he was constantly going on about, but he seemed to know everything nonetheless. Of course, I wasn't surprised, since I'd seen how easy it was for him to get information on me. I knew if he put that much effort into his school work, he could be one of the smartest students in school. But I also knew that that boat had sailed a long time ago.

However, much as I enjoyed my current position, I knew it wasn't practical. So I had found myself a different job. It hadn't been easy, but I'd spent the entire weekend – not having any collectors to avoid – with Kakuzu, knowing that if there was one person I could trust to help me out – and I mean _really_ trust, not like the trust I have in Tobi – it was him.

So, despite the many times I had always told my cousins not to do so, I was quitting at the end of the day.

At least, I thought I would be.

Monday went by normally for the first two periods of school. I had advanced calculus first, which was just one of those things that I hated but I was good at, so I did it anyway. Hell, if I ever needed to, at least I knew I'd make a decent math teacher – I could always get the required qualifications from a community college if ever a time for needing such a thing arose.

Second period I had World History, a subject I had picked up this year after finding out how completely boring world Geography was. It was the sort of class I knew I could pass with ease, since most of the assignments involved more independent study than class work anyway. I liked the World History class, since I could see the field – and more often than not one of the younger P.E classes – out the window and even past that, I could see the park beyond the school fence.

I always wondered why they even had a school fence, especially one like ours, which made the property seem more like a prison, than a school.

As usual, I was caught up by one of my friends in the hall – sometimes I just thought they didn't want me to escape – and led outside into the early autumn sun, to take our usual spot. Now that I think about it, we'd been sitting in the same spot since I started at that school.

Today it was Hidan who retrieved me from class and I made the mistake of pretending to be interested in what he'd done over the weekend.

"Same old fucking thing," he said, while we were still walking through the halls. We got a lot of strange looks from underclassmen but he didn't seem to notice, "Mum came home pissed, as usual on Friday night, she thought it was Easter and started looking for eggs all over the damn house. She ended up passing out on our back lawn after being convinced that a squirrel was the fucking Easter bunny."

Again, I took a moment to be thankful that no matter how bad things got, I wasn't in the same boat as Hidan.

"Wait a minute, I thought your parents got a divorce?" and again, I made the awful decision of carrying on a conversation with Hidan.

"So what? She still comes around all the time claiming my father owes her for child support," Hidan said.

I wondered for a moment, if he thought it was normal to live like that. But then, he'd never known anything else, so he probably did.

"Tell it to somebody who cares," Kakuzu came out of a classroom at just the right time to hear Hidan sharing the details of his _interesting_ life with me. "Nobody wants to hear about your mess of a family."

Hidan scowled and fired back, "at least my parents didn't abandon me, you fucktard!" he all but yelled.

Again, I noticed a lot of people who weren't familiar with us, were staring.

Kakuzu sighed, thoroughly annoyed at where this conversation was heading, "my parents didn't _abandon_ me," he said, "We just decided to go our separate ways."

The truth was, that in a sense, Kakuzu's parents _had_ abandoned him, but for the simple reason that they couldn't afford to keep him. Probably the reason he's so money conscious and all. They left him with his grandmother when he was two years old, and though I haven't met her, if she's anything like _my_ grandmother, I truly feel sorry for him.

"I don't know, sounds pretty much like damn abandonment to me!" Hidan yelled, "No phone calls, letters or visits for years. Do you even remember what they look like?!"

"I'd rather have absentee parents than a pair of psychotic drunks, which is probably what you'll turn out to be if you live longer than your eighteenth birthday!"

After that I pretty much tuned them out. Any argument they had clearly didn't involve me so I just let them go at it as we made our way through the building, and I watched with amusement, the many expressions they managed to get out of the poor young people at our school. I was also rather amused that most of the juniors and seniors just stared at them for a moment or two before rolling their eyes and walking off, as though this were an everyday occurrence – though in truth, it pretty much was.

"Oh god, they're at it again," I heard Itachi groan. He really hated violence, and although it hadn't gotten to that point yet, it soon would if those two didn't stop.

"I know, isn't it great?" Tobi asked gleefully, his eyes darting over towards Konan before resettling on the argument in front of him.

I sat down in my usual spot, knowing that all hell was about to break loose in the form of Konan.

"Hey! What the hell did I tell you boys about fighting!" she yelled getting up from her own seat. "You know I hate violence! And every time you disobey me, it's like stabbing a knife right through my heart!"

"Yeah, like you even have one," Hidan muttered.

Konan politely decided to ignore him, grabbing both boys – who, might I mention, were taller and stronger than her – by the ear and pushing them both an arm's length apart.

"Now apologise!" she demanded.

Believe it or not, this actually happened about three times a week.

Boys. They never seem to learn.

"No!" Hidan immediately yelled back. Konan twisted her wrist and had him on his knees but he still yelled out, "never!"

We all knew how this was going to end and Tobi was watching on with a child-like glee befitting of his at-home persona.

When both boys continued to refuse, Pein said dully, "boys, listen to your mother," which was the result of some psychotic process they'd developed after years of being the oldest still living at their orphanage.

"Fine, I'm sorry!" Hidan barked out.

Since Kakuzu had apologised in the beginning, both boys were flung towards the table where we were seated, and Konan followed with a happy kind of smile, satisfied with the outcome and apparent lack of violence.

Tobi was snickering at the two, until it seemed like he'd been kicked under the table by Itachi. Usually, he wouldn't do something like that, but it seemed special circumstances were in play.

"If you don't do something, I will hate you forever," I heard Tobi whisper, right before a very familiar voice caught my attention.

"Tobi un? I didn't recognise you without your handler; I didn't know they let you out by yourself now, un!" Deidara exclaimed brightly.

I turned half around in my seat so I would get a good view both of Itachi and Tobi, as well as Deidara, while it was more than just assumed that everybody else would stay out of this.

I caught the look Tobi shot in Itachi's direction and the younger sighed, as if wishing to be anywhere else but here right now, clearly not wanting to deal with this.

Oh, you remember earlier when I spoke about Deidara still being a jerk most of the time? Well this is what I was talking about.

"What do you want Deidara?" Itachi asked, his voice cold but still as polite as possible. I thought I heard him whisper to Tobi, "I really don't care how long you decide to hate me."

"Actually, I'm not here to talk to the two of you, un," he said, muttering what was surely an insult.

Damn these rich people and their muttering.

He looked over at me and gave that smile that seemed bright enough to out glow the sun. "My father wants to meet you, un, and he's not going to take no for an answer."

"What, why?" I asked.

"Because, you're the only one who has ever helped him improve his shitty grades," it seemed Tobi couldn't help growling that out. I had never seen him and Deidara put together, but it seemed like Tobi lost control of himself for a split second there.

"Aw, he can speak, un!" Deidara said, in a patronising way, "how adorable, un! Have you two been practising?" he asked them both.

Tobi whispered something and Itachi shook his head, refusing to relay whatever he'd just heard.

Hoping to change the subject, I said, "When does he want to meet me?"

"Tonight, un! You're coming home with me and having dinner with my family," he looked over at Itachi and Tobi and said, "and a few other people."

"What, that's such short notice! What am I going to do about my cousins?" although it would be great to get a free meal.

"Bring them along, un! They won't be the only children there, or the only ones with child-like thinking capacities, un."

I was torn between punching him again for constantly insulting Tobi, and finding a way to tell him I wanted to quit. Though it would probably be better to do that through his father anyway, right?

Still…

"There's no way I'm bringing my cousins to your house! They'll probably break something, or worse, they'll steal something!"

Deidara laughed lightly, as if not hearing or caring about what I'd just said.

"I told you before un, no isn't an acceptable answer. I'll meet you outside the school gates at three thirty."

He turned away and ran off before I could even think of saying no.


	7. Chapter 7

**So i thought i'd be able to write it all in one scene, but this chapter kind of got away from me and i ended up straying from my original plot.**

**anyways, i hope you enjoy.**

**oh and no complaining about it, but having Ino as a part of Deidara's family is a MASSIVE convienience.**

* * *

During lunch break I contacted both Gaara and Kankuro's schools, to make sure they waited for me to come and get them. I also spoke to Temari, who was excited at the prospect of spending time on the other side of town for a change, and tried to assure me that there was no way we'd end up accidently incurring yet another debt, but I really wasn't sure.

I spent the rest of the school day worrying and making a list in my head of things I would need to do in order to keep my family out of trouble, and about what I would say to Deidara's father, in order to tell him I was quitting.

Though, from what Deidara had already said, his father sounded like a pretty stubborn guy, who probably wouldn't take it very well.

I could only really hope that his family wasn't as bad as him.

I had never heard him mention his mother, though, so maybe he was a victim of divorce or something. It would certainly begin to explain his personality.

I wondered if he had any brothers or sisters, though he might've been nicer if he did.

After school at three thirty, Temari caught up with me as I was heading outside to meet up with Deidara. She gave me a smile that said she knew something which I didn't.

"What's that look for?" I asked her as we stepped outside, where most of the other students had already left.

"You'll see," she all but sang. Sometimes she scared me with the few similarities she had to Konan. They were the only two women currently in my life, though they seemed to be working towards the same cause. Now if only I could figure out what that cause was…

Though there was a definite reason I kept the two apart most of the time.

Neither I, nor any of my cousins, had driven in a car in three years. Sad, I know, but you can't change the facts. Needless to say, Temari's excitement to venture over to the other side of town skyrocketed when she realised we didn't have to take the train there.

"Whoa you have your own car, that's so cool!" Temari said when we had followed Deidara to the parking lot.

It was a non-descript black car with tinted windows, like the one Tobi took to school every day. I didn't know much about cars since I'd spent my life going around on public transport, but I knew Deidara was rich so it must've been expensive.

"Nah un, my father thinks if he gets me a car, I'll just end up blowing something up," Deidara said, "I usually have a driver to take me places un, even though I know how to drive, but I convinced him to stay home today."

The way he said that made it seem like the driver he spoke of, hadn't had much of a choice.

"So un, I guess that means I'll be _your_ driver today," he held open the door for the backseat and said, "kids sit in the back un. Danna, you can sit up front with me."

Temari gave me a look that expressed her amusement at the nickname, before getting in the car.

"Cool, there're actual seatbelts in here!" she said.

"Really un, that's what grabs your attention?" Deidara asked, already starting the car.

"Well yeah, safety is very important you know, especially since my little brothers are going to be here too and I have no idea if you're a good driver or not," Temari explained.

She had a point, I didn't really have any confidence in Deidara as a driver either, but it was looking as though we didn't have much choice now.

"Don't be ridiculous un, I'm an excellent driver!"

However, once we got out onto the road, it became apparent that he wasn't. He ran red lights, paid no attention to pedestrians and drove much too fast to be safe. His father had probably disagreed to get him a car; for fear that he would flip it or get it stuck on the train tracks. Going around a corner, he actually drove up onto the footpath for a moment and I thought I was going to be sick.

Temari was sitting in the backseat laughing every time we sped up or almost hit something – or some_one_ – and basically enjoying herself. I would remember if there was ever a next time that we would never get in a car with Deidara behind the wheel, ever again.

"Okay un, which school do your cousins go to?" Deidara asked, when he realised he had no idea where he was going.

Remembering the locations and not the school's names, I gave Deidara directions and we ended up in front of the primary school where Gaara was the only kid still waiting.

"Which one is this, un?" Deidara asked, pulling up right beside my youngest cousin.

"That's Gaara," Temari informed him. She opened her door and said, "Get in kid."

Gaara looked sceptically at the car and at the person driving it, before saying firmly, "no."

"What do you mean no, we've got places to be!" Temari said, "Now listen to your older sister and get in the car."

"You sound like a paedophile," I said quietly.

"I'm not supposed to ride with strangers," Gaara told her, gesturing to Deidara who was watching the whole thing play out.

"I'm not a stranger! Don't you trust me!"

Gaara gave her a flat look as his reply.

"Aw come-on little boy un, we've got candy!" Deidara called, causing my youngest cousin to take a step back.

"Shut up, you're gonna scare him off," I hissed.

Great, now _I_ felt like a paedophile.

It took a while to convince him, but eventually I got Gaara to get in the car. Once he figured out I was there too, he seemed to realise it wasn't some elaborate plan of Temari's to kidnap him. Why he would've thought that in the first place was a completely different story.

Now Kankuro was easy. He seemed to have forgotten everything I'd told him about stranger danger and keeping safe around people he didn't know, and as soon as Deidara pulled up beside him and told him to get in the car, he simply did as he was told.

I spent the next ten minutes it took for us to get to the other side of town, lecturing him and repeating everything I'd been telling him for three years, ignoring Temari's request to lighten up a little.

I only stopped talking when we got into the better side of town, in case the rich people heard me yelling at my cousin.

Now, I had been on this side of town before, I had been to both Itachi and Tobi's houses, which put every other life I had ever seen or known, to shame. However, that could never have prepared me for seeing where Deidara lived. It wasn't that it was bigger or showier than the other two rich houses I'd been to, or even the others on the street we were zooming down; I was just an easily impressed person, having lived a simple life.

The gate opened by itself and we drove slowly up the drive in silence until one of my cousins decided to say,

"Holy shit your house is freaking huge!"

We all turned in our seats to stare at my usually quiet cousin.

"Watch your language, Gaara," I said. Seriously, these kids.

"But he's right!" Temari insisted, "This house is bigger than our entire apartment building! You could fit our building in there three times and still have space left over!"

"If the three of you are gonna act like poor kids then you can go back home," I told them, "just because we can't afford anything, doesn't mean you have to act like everything you see if made of diamonds."

"What does that even mean?" Temari asked.

"I don't know, just behave yourselves and don't touch anything, okay? If you kids break something I'll have to sell you, and I'm sure none of you want that."

Deidara laughed, reminding me that he was actually there, and said, "don't worry about it un, there's nothing in that house that we can't afford to replace."

He got out of the car and I tentatively followed him, while the kids were all too eager to get inside. We followed a path from the driveway up to the door, which he unlocked with a key hanging around his neck, and we stepped inside, taking off our shoes by the door.

As expected, and as I'd seen in other big houses, the foyer was huge, with a curved double staircase, marble floor and a large chandelier in the centre of the roof. The room was immaculate, everything was either cream, gold or brown. There were oval arch-doorways to each side leading into other rooms and one right ahead leading to a hallway, where I could see the beginnings of a stairwell leading downstairs.

"I'm home, un!" Deidara called out, looking both ways through his house and seeing no one.

"Welcome home, butt-munch."

At the top of the stairs was a girl about Gaara's age, blonde hair which was much lighter than Deidara's, and blue eyes which were also lighter. She was wearing a purple dress, and looking my cousins and I over carefully, before smiling. That smile soon turned to a scowl, however, when Deidara responded with;

"Shut up dweeb, where's my father, un?"

"Don't you mean _our_ father?" the girl asked.

"No un, if I'd meant that I would've damn said it."

The girl made her way downstairs and continued to smile at us, before turning to Deidara and saying, "Well aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?"

"Piss off un, they're not here to see you."

Though the words were simple enough, and probably things which I would say to my cousins, I could feel the tension between the two blondes. I realised maybe I would get some really good insight into Deidara's true nature, tonight.

The girl ignored Deidara, and smiled up at me, "hi, I'm Ino," she said, taking my hand before I could offer it, "wow, you're _really_ tall. And handsome too, what are you like, fourteen?"

I heard Temari snickering behind me, but she had always said I looked too young for my age. I'd never seen it, but I was now thinking she was right.

"Jesus Ino, keep it in your pants, un," Deidara said, "even if he _was_ fourteen, that's still too old for you."

"Since when do you care?" Ino scoffed.

"Since now," Deidara growled. "Aren't you supposed to be hanging out with that mini Uchiha kid?"

"I heard you come back, and look, you brought me home some new friends."

Ino was still holding my hand and it was starting to get weird. If trying to get Gaara into a car had made me feel like a paedophile, this wasn't getting any better.

"Yeah, I brought you those three un," Deidara pointed slightly behind us at my cousins, before grabbing my wrist and pulling, "this one is mine, we're going to go and find _my_ father."

With that, he dragged me up the stairs and away from that creepy little blonde girl. As we disappeared down the upstairs hall, I heard the endings of a conversation between Temari and Ino;

"So are you Deidara's little sister?" Temari asked.

"Well, sort of," Ino replied.

"What do you mean –"

At that point, it was impossible for me to hear what they were saying.

Deidara didn't say anything as he stomped through his house. It was so big I wondered how he even knew where he was going, but he seemed to have the place memorized, so I didn't question anything, not even the fact that with every step, his grip seemed to tighten around my wrist.

He dragged me through a door and up another flight of stairs; this one was narrow and covered in soft grey carpet. At the top of the stairs, to the side was another door which he dragged me through, leading into an attic bedroom.

Compared to all of the other rooms we'd passed and been through, this room was a lot smaller and plainer. The floors were light wood, a blue rug covered most of it though. There was a double bed in the centre with a blue frame, white pillows and a plain blue cover. the walls were white with shelves built into them, all different shades of blue, filled with books and things which I never would've expected to find in a place like this, and a desk stood over to the far side of the room, blue of course, as everything was, and holding a laptop.

The roof was slanted and had a large sun window over the bed, with no curtains or anything, displaying the stars and the moon outside.

Deidara pushed me into the room and closed the door, leaning against it for good measure.

"I hate that girl, un," he said, flipping on the light.

"She seemed like a bit of a brat," I agreed, "more so than you, even."

My words caused a momentary smile to pass over him, before he remembered his position and said, "I don't even hate the things that she says and does, un. I just hate that she lives here."

"Aren't older brothers supposed to love their sisters?" I asked, taking an opportunity to look around the room. there were framed pictures on the shelves, of a little boy who looked a lot like Deidara, and in every single picture, he was smiling next to a brunette woman with eyes just as blue as his and a smile just as bright. Even with the different hair colours, I could tell the two were related.

"I don't have a sister, un," he said, "not literally, not technically, not any label you want to give it. I am an only child."

"So then who is that little girl?" I asked.

"I don't want to talk about her, Danna un," I heard him fall onto the bed, making a sound of defeat, "she always makes me feel like crap."

"I thought I told you not to call me that," I picked up one picture, it looked really old. In it, a smiling blonde baby was being held, all bundled up in blue blankets with the same woman from the rest of the pictures. "Will my cousins be alright down there?"

"They'll be fine, un," Deidara said quietly. "Put that down and come lie with me."

I did as I was told, placing the frame back on the shelf and making my way over to the bed. Deidara seemed generally sad and I didn't like it, so I thought I would try to make him happy, by lying down with him as he'd requested. When I was there, face to face with him, the bed seemed so small and the space between us was almost none existent, but it wasn't uncomfortable.

Those conflicting feelings were beginning to stir in the pit of my stomach and I wondered why I was feeling so confused. Looking him pout like that, eyes wide and sad, he was adorable. But he was a guy, so he couldn't be adorable! Geez, why wasn't I feeling these things towards a girl instead?!

"Do you want to talk about it, brat?" I asked to try and break the tension that perhaps only I was feeling.

"No un, I'd rather suffer in silence than share my problems with _you_." despite his words, he moved noticeably closer to me, close enough that I could feel his warm breath on my face. So close but I wanted to be even closer.

This was another side of his personality which I had yet to see. I wondered for a moment whether he had multiple personalities or something.

"Then why'd you invite me up here?" more like _drag._

"I don't know un," he whispered. "I guess I just wanted to be alone."

"Well you can't do that if I'm here, can you?" I asked, swallowing the pride I didn't even have and forgetting everything I had just been thinking about Deidara being a guy and that he couldn't be cute and that I couldn't be feeling these things about him and –

"Hey, it's dinner time, come down stairs!" Ino's voice rang out through the room, killing the mood as she banged her fist on the door.

Deidara and I moved quickly apart before either of us could close the two centimetre gap that had been between us.

I just almost kissed a boy.

I almost gave my first kiss to that _brat_.

And I still wanted to!

No, I didn't.

I _didn't._

And I wasn't going to.

"Ah, I'm sorry un," Deidara said, looking down at his feet, "that wasn't supposed to happen."

"N-no, it's fine, it's okay, it was my fault as well. We can just forget that ever happened, okay?"

"Deal, un," Deidara gave me that smile which ensured that everything was okay again; everything was perfect again. "Alright un, let's go down to dinner. You can meet the rest of my _lovely_ family."

* * *

**So what'd you think? i know, i could've made it longer, but at this point, i kind of got stuck. what do you think of Deidara's family so far?**


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't really have much to say about this...**

* * *

Dinner was one of those things which really have no one word to describe them, but if I had to try, I'd use the word, odd.

Tobi and Itachi were there, with their parents and Itachi's little brother Sasuke, who seemed glad that Gaara was here to steal all of Ino's attention. Temari seemed to be enjoying herself, talking with my friends who I usually kept away from her. Like Konan, she found Tobi to be an extremely interesting person.

It seemed Kankuro had been spending his time around the adults, I dreaded the thought of what he'd said to them, but none of them looked offended or anything so I let it go.

As Deidara and I stepped into the dining room, we were approached by a smiling blonde woman who looked a lot more like Ino than Deidara. This wasn't the woman from all of those photo's upstairs.

"Hi! You must be Sasori," she said, much like her daughter, she grabbed my hand without me offering it, "my name is Kimiko, I'm Deidara's mother."

"_Step_ mother, un," Deidara pointed out.

"Right, I'm his step-mother," Kimiko confirmed, "You've probably already met my daughter, Ino?"

The younger blonde perked up at the mention of her name and looked over at us, waving at me enthusiastically, and I could get a clear view of Gaara trying to escape her hold.

"Yeah," I said, feeling awkward and not knowing what else to say.

"Good. Well come on, we're just bout to eat."

She pulled me into the room, still smiling that smile; she introduced me to her husband Hideki, who I was assuming was Deidara's father. He was another blonde, but besides that, he bared very little resemblance to Deidara. He showed very little interest in my presence, which confused me since I was under the impression that I was there to meet _him._

I sat tentatively between Itachi and Temari, who in turn, was sitting next to Tobi. The two were whispering about something and Tobi seemed glad to be able to slip momentarily out of his usual act as a moron, with his parents and Itachi's parents both seated on the other side of the table. Zetsu, Tobi's _handler_ as Deidara had called it earlier, was there, but he just pretended not to notice Tobi's use of proper language.

Ino and Gaara sat across from us, the latter was routinely looking at me to save him, bt of course I did nothing, because how much trouble could a ten year old really cause?

Deidara sat between Ino and his mother, while his father sat at the end of the table, and Kankuro sat beside Tobi's parents, with Itachi's father at the other end, beside his wife, all of whom I'd met before.

Itachi told me while we were waiting for our food, that his father and Deidara's father were good friends, and business partners, and if Sasuke was unlucky late in life, he'd end up having to marry Ino.

When the food came, I really didn't know what to think. Having been brought up on burgers and pizza, I couldn't repeat the names of the dishes even if I tried. I knew rich people ate weird things so I wasn't too surprised at how it tasted and looked, but when it came to actually eating, I drew a blank. I spent about ten minutes worrying that my cousins would do something embarrassing, but lucky for me it turned out that Temari had taught them manners while I wasn't home.

About halfway through the meal, Itachi's father said, "You know Hideki, my boy is a genius, he's the top student in his year!"

Itachi sighed audibly beside me, and next to Temari, Tobi said, "Great, time to play _who's kid is better,_ the rigged addition."

And Temari replied, "What do you mean _rigged?_"

"Come-on kid; just look at my cousin. Do you think anyone in this room could compare? Besides me, of course."

"Well Ino's been selected to be placed into that advanced program for gifted kids," Hideki said.

Across the table, Fugaku laughed and said, "You mean the one Sasuke has been in for two years now? Although I suppose that I pretty good, for a _girl._"

Up until right then, I had considered myself a sexist person.

"Yes well, it's nice to have _one_ child I can be proud of," Hideki looked pointedly at Deidara, before continuing to talk loudly across the table about Fugaku's genius children, as though none of the rest of us were there. It wasn't until around the end of our meal that they seemed to remember me.

"so Sasori, tell us a bit about your cousins," Fugaku said, seeming to pique Hideki's interest.

"e-excuse me?" I said, not sure if I understood.

"You _are_ their legal guardian, aren't you? I've been told you've practically raised those children," Fugaku pressed.

_Technically,_ I wasn't their legal guardian.

"They must be brilliant children, after all you managed to turn my screw-up son around in just a week!" Hideki exclaimed.

I looked over towards Deidara, to see what he thought or felt about this all, only to see him glaring down at a plate of mashed up food.

"No really, that had barely anything to do with me," I lied, "and besides, my cousins are just normal kids, who do normal kids' stuff." I didn't want to go into too much detail of either of my youngest cousins.

Hideki laughed, "That's what I love about commoners," he said, "they're so modest!"

Commoners, I wasn't sure if I liked that term and title. Would they call me that every time I saw them?

"No really, you should believe him," Temari said, speaking without being invited to, "my brothers are complete idiots."

Kankuro nodded, "that's right," he said.

Gaara didn't react at all.

Both men just laughed at my cousins, whether at their honesty or their nerve, I couldn't tell, but I knew it should've been a lot worse, so I counted my blessings that it seemed my cousins had been replaced for the night by people who knew how to behave in other people's homes.

I felt a little awkward after dinner, having other people clear the table when I was used to doing so myself.

I stuck around downstairs for a while longer, just listening to the different conversations taking place amongst different groups of people. Itachi was explaining to me that their three families gathered at one of their houses every week on Monday to do this, so it was really nothing new to him or Tobi.

The kids ended up running off into another room, Gaara included and I worried for a moment what would happen to him, before I remembered Deidara's promise that he would be fine.

Deidara disappeared sometime after that. I felt bad for him, but not bad enough to follow him and find out what was wrong. I felt almost afraid to be alone with him right now, after what had almost happened upstairs, so I stayed at the table until I remembered that one thing I had to do before I went home.

I got up when Deidara's father excused himself, and followed him out of the room, catching up to him on the stairs.

"Sir, I need to talk to you," I said, my voice seemed to echo through the large room, though it could've just been my nerves.

Hideki looked back at me disinterestedly. "What do you want, kid?" he asked completely different form the way he had acted in the other room.

All these rich people, you could never really tell who they were.

"Well it's just that… I found another job… so I won't be needing this one anymore."

After that, I wished I could just run away. I wasn't usually one to run away from things, but this guy scared me.

"No," he said simply, "that's not going to work out. You might as well just stick with your current position."

He began to head upstairs and I followed after him quickly.

"Um, I don't think you heard me correctly," I started, but I was quickly interrupted.

"No I heard you cloud and clear, but I'm telling you it's in your best interests, and the interests of your family, to stay employed with us."

"Was that a threat?"

"Maybe it was, that's for you to decide."

"I don't mean to be rude or anything," something about the fact that he was rich, made me feel the need to be polite even when I was trying to express my anger, "but you're not exactly helping your case here! I don't want to spend the rest of my school career tutoring your kid, no matter how good the pay. If I take a part-time job, I can get more work and make more money, I have three children with futures that need to be considered, after all!"

He disappeared behind a door, and I followed, knowing he was listening and taking everything I said into careful consideration. We'd reached a study and I felt even more out of place than I had before.

"Listen kid," he said, "I have spent too much time and money on that boy to simply give up now. I didn't ask for a screw up son. If it were up to me, Deidara would've never been born."

"Hey, isn't that a little harsh? Just because he doesn't live up to _your_ standards, doesn't mean you have to treat him like crap," dammit, where was this coming from?

"I don't expect a boy like you to understand. You're simply too busy trying to support your family, to worry about the way the world sees you. But it's different for people like us, with standards to uphold and whatnot," he said, "so I need you to stick around and save my son from himself. He's simply too much like his mother for his own good, he even has her annoying speech impediment."

I frowned and said, "if you don't mind me asking sir, if you found his mother so terrible, why did you have a child with her?"

He didn't answer me, and instead said, "Your cousin Temari is a first year high school student, and she'll be going to college in a few years, right?"

"Yeah, what are you getting at?"

"Well, if you stick with it, and get help my soon become as good a student as Itachi, then I'll take care of her tuition. Wouldn't things be so much easier if you didn't have to worry about paying for her future?"

This was something I hadn't expected. But he was rich, so I wasn't surprised that he had stooped so low.

I _REALLY_ needed the money. That was non-disputable. There was no way at all that I could say no!

"What's your answer kid, I don't have day."

It felt sort of like I was selling myself out, or selling Deidara out even, but I knew that I had to anyway.

"Fine, I'll do it."

"Good boy. You can leave now, gather your cousins and I'll have somebody take you home."

I left the room as I was told to, only to find Deidara standing out in the hall, listening to everything that had been said. He wore an expressionless face and stared down at his feet. I was going to say something, but he spoke first.

"You didn't have to do that, un," he said.

"No I really did, I owe those kids the best future I can provide, I was given no choice," I told him.

"I don't mean that un. You didn't have to defend me in there… I'm used to him saying those kinds of things."

Understandably, that kind of pissed me off. No matter how much of a jerk they were, no kid, or person in general ever deserved that.

"I was only doing what I felt was right," I replied, "I might not like you very much, but that doesn't mean I'm just going to sit there and listen to somebody talk about you like you're nothing."

The ghost of a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and it made my heart soar just for a moment, to know that I'd be responsible for it, before he embraced me in a tight hug. He was a lot closer to me than I felt was comfortable but I returned the gesture anyway, beyond confused.

"You're such an idiot, Danna un," he said, "You really shouldn't concern yourself with my problems."

"I'd like to anyway, I'd like it if you shared them with me, all of them."

He laughed, and let me go, probably realising how ridiculous he was behaving, and I saw that look return to his eyes, that look that said he better than everyone else, and I began to think that maybe it was all just some kind of defence mechanism, hardwired into his heart to protect him.

"Maybe tomorrow un, but it's getting kind of late," he said, "come-on, I'll drive you guys home."

* * *

My cousins were all found in different places in the house. I found Gaara in Ino's room, cornered by the little blonde, while Sasuke watched on unaffected. When I opened the door, Gaara used the distraction to run out and hide behind me.

At least he'd remembered everything I'd told him about not hitting girls.

Kankuro was found in one of the main rooms, sitting around a coffee table with Deidara's step mother and Itachi and Tobi's parents, drinking coffee and behaving like an adult.

Temari was in the dining room with Tobi and Itachi, still seated at the table. Itachi was simply watching the other two whisper and giggle about something, which they stopped as soon as I came into the room.

Once I got them into the car, I figured they'd fall asleep on the road, or at least the youngest two, but Gaara seemed to have other ideas.

"Sasori?" his voice was quiet and barely heard over the sound of Deidara's chaotic driving.

"What is it, kid?" I asked, without turning back in my seat.

He hesitated before asking, "What is sex?"

Deidara slammed on the brakes to halt a crash which surely would've resulted from his fit of laughter.

"What, why, where did you hear that?" I asked.

"From Ino."

"Hah, I'm not surprised, un," Deidara said as he started driving again.

"Hey, I know what that is!" Kankuro exclaimed.

"Shush you," I said, "Gaara you're only ten, I don't think you should concern yourself with those things."

"Aw, is Ino your girlfriend now?" Temari cooed excitedly.

"No," Gaara looked truly horrified at the thought.

"Well then why do you need to know, kid?" Temari pressed.

"He doesn't, can't we just enjoy his innocence for a while longer?" I asked, desperate not to have this conversation again so soon after Temari.

"Sex is when a man and a woman get naked and hug, right?"

Again, Deidara was forced to slam on the breaks, as his laughter escalated to near hysterics this time around.

"Oh my god un, isn't he like, thirteen?"

"Yeah well, I make it a point to draw out their ignorance for as long as I can."

Deidara looked at me and said, "How did _you_ figure out about sex?"

I felt my face heat up a little and turned away slightly, "I just... found out on my own."

"You now Kankuro, sex isn't always between a man and a woman," Temari said, I could hear the glee in her voice as she spoke.

"What do you mean?" Gaara asked.

"Temari, please don't," I said quietly. More than anything, I didn't want to be thinking about _that_ right now, in a car, with Deidara, who I may or may not have been physically attracted to.

Temari laughed, "Aw don't get embarrassed _now_! You're the one who taught me about it all!" she said.

And for everything I hadn't been able to explain, there were always dirty online stories, which, since I wasn't her father and they weren't going to get her pregnant, I had no problem with her reading.

"That's right kid, un," Deidara seemed to have decided to play, "sex _can_ be between a man and a woman, but it can also be between two women –"

"_Or_ two men!" Temari concluded.

Gaara nodded, seeming to catch on a little with every word that was said.

"Okay, but what _is_ sex?" he asked.

And before any of the cars three other occupants could say anything, I said what would hopefully be the conclusion of this little discussion.

"It's something that you only do with somebody you love, understand?"

I could tell both Deidara and Temari were trying not to laugh at my obvious lie – though really, I didn't understand why you would do something so intimate with somebody you _didn't_ love – but I also knew Gaara and Kankuro had both heard what I'd said and were taking it into consideration.

"Yes, I understand," Gaara said, "so I'm not to do something like that with Ino?"

"No, definitely not un," Deidara agreed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay so i probably wont be updating tomorrow since i have to work, but there will be another chapter coming within the next two days.**

* * *

The next day I got to tell Kakuzu that even though he'd spent an entire weekend helping me find it, I wasn't going to need that job after all. I figured he'd be made, but he was happy since it meant he could take my place.

"Don't you already have a job?" Hidan asked.

We were seated around our usual table, though since it wasn't nailed down, we'd dragged it onto the field to watch Konan and Itachi practice for Friday.

"So what, now I have two," Kakuzu replied, "you'll never get anywhere in this world if you don't work hard."

"So you decided to stick with it, huh?" Tobi asked me, "good for you!"

"I had no choice," I said, _almost_ sullenly, "he offered to pay Temari's tuition. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Push him for more!" Tobi said, "he was obviously desperate!"

"Yeah, I could tell. I just didn't like the way he kept talking about Deidara."

I knew I had made a mistake as soon as I spoke, but somewhere down the line I seemed to have forgotten who Deidara really was;

_The enemy._

"Whatever happens, rest assured he deserves it!" Tobi exclaimed, "And besides, my parents talk shit about me all the time, you don't hear me complaining!"

I wanted to snidely ask him who's fault that was but I knew at the same time that I wouldn't get me anywhere except on Tobi's bad side, and that was _not_ somewhere I wanted to be.

"you know, the two of you are just as bad as each other," I said, "neither of you knows the others story, but your content to judge each other anyway."

Tobi turned that standard Uchiha glare on me, looking into my eyes for evidence of an unknown crime, before the tension was broken and the mood was killed.

"What the fuck are you reading?" Hidan asked.

Kisame had been quiet the entire time, staring down at a hot pink flyer with indecision in his eyes and written all over his face.

He tried to hide it and attempted to say it was nothing, but unfortunately for him, Pein had one exactly like it. When the flyer was placed in the middle of the table, we could all read what it said;

_'FALL FORMAL.'_

"Isn't that that stupid dance they have midway through the term for all the year levels?" Tobi asked, "My parents set me up last year with one of their friend's dumbass daughters. It was one of the worst nights of my life. I hate stupid people."

Ironic, coming from him.

"What the hell are you doing with one of these?" Hidan asked, both Pein and Kisame.

"Since it's our last year, Konan is making me take her to all of these stupid dances," Pein said.

That seemed like a reasonable answer.

We all turned to stare at Kisame expectantly.

Kisame, in turn, looked over at Tobi.

"Will his parents be setting Itachi up this year or… will he be available to go with someone else?"

The entire table was silent for a moment as we decided what to say and think. The only sounds that could be heard were from the game going on out on the field between the boys team and the girls team – as always, the girls were winning by a landslide – until Tobi started to laugh.

His laughter got louder and louder – reminding me a little of Deidara – until I was worried he might fall out of his seat.

"Oh god, I don't know what's funnier; you thinking of asking my cousins out, or thinking that his parents would allow it!" he cried, in between gits of laughter, "You're so _cute!_"

Kisame, having been friends with Tobi long enough to know how to deal with this, took it in stride and actually looked almost hopeful.

"So do you think, if I could get his parents to agree, then Itachi would say yes?"

Tobi stopped laughing immediately, realising that he was being called upon to actually think for a moment.

"Absolutely," he said after a while, completely sure of himself.

"Why do they put the flyers for these things out so early?" Hidan asked.

It was almost two months before the fall formal.

"To remind people like you that you'll be alone forever," Kakuzu replied without missing a beat.

"Not if I can help it," Tobi muttered, before continuing to speak with Kisame, "it's probably lucky that the dance is so far away; it gives you plenty of time to convince his parents, though I'd start with his mother if I were you. get her on your side and it should be easy enough to win over his father."

All this talk about dances and dates had me wondering if Deidara was going to go, and if so, would he go with a group of friends, or would he have a date?

Speaking of which, did Deidara like women? Did _I_ like women?

He looked a bit like a woman himself, so I couldn't imagine many girls being his type, or vice versa.

Did that mean if I asked, he would go with me?

But I wouldn't ask.

Because I didn't like him like that.

Hell, I didn't like him at all!

Honest!

I didn't like _anyone_ like that. I never had and it was possible that I never would – ignoring the fact that I was already beginning to feel that way about Deidara, rapidly, I might add, and in a way that there was nothing I could do about it at all.

"And _you,"_ Tobi's accusing finger in my face brought me back to reality, all of the angry emotions from before were gone and replaced with an almost playful suspicion. "I'm watching you don't forget that Deidara is _not_ a good person, he's not your friend, not somebody you want to get involved with. Understand?"

"Geez, you sound like you're my mother," I grumbled, "but I get it, so no need to repeat this little lecture."

"Good, because if you got hurt, that would be a massive inconvenience."

I rolled my eyes, "great to know how much I mean to you," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. Though I knew anyone who was beyond pure hate, in Tobi's eyes, was a good friend if not more.

Out on the field, Deidara and Itachi were talking. From where I was they looked like two normal people, there no anger or anything more than perhaps two players and a bit of friendly competition. Itachi was up right after Deidara, and he still hadn't managed to hit the ball as high or far as Deidara.

And I could imagine Itachi's levelled voice and false manners not betraying a single drop of emotion. And Deidra's increasingly cute speech impediment would show itself more often as he got annoyed with Itachi's lack of concern and reaction.

Sure enough, I watched him get flustered and annoyed and stomp up to the plate to bat. I could feel Tobi's suspicious eyes on me but I just couldn't look away.

There was just something about that brat.

* * *

"Danna un, are these the right books?"

Honestly, I didn't understand at the beginning, why we couldn't just do his project on the internet, but that was before I realised just how many distractions there were online.

Temari had always been a good girl, or at least good enough so that I wouldn't notice if she started slacking off, so I was facing new problems everyday with Deidara.

Scanning the covers of the books he'd brought back, I decided they'd be good enough to get a little background, but I knew eventually, we would have to go back online to get the full story.

Deidara had gotten an assignment in his world history class and it was the type where every student was given a different time period and had to look up, study and write a report, on a specific even in that time. I had done the same assignment last year, and knew it was basically a practice thing for the rest of the year, to give the teacher some sort of insight into your working capabilities. It didn't technically count, but you still got a grade in it.

He had been given the late nineteenth century and insisted immediately, that our project be on the infamous London serial killer, _Jack the Ripper._

I originally said no – because seriously, it was _creepy_ – but Deidara had gone on and on, saying how cool he thought that kind of thing was, even going so far as to use the word _artistic._ Yeah, like a bunch of creepy murders could ever be art.

But eventually, I found myself with no other choice, than to simply give in, because it was clear that he wasn't going to cooperate in anything else I found for him.

"You really like this kind of stuff, huh?" I asked, watching with a weird fondness, as he read through one of the books, blue eyes wide with almost horrified interest.

"Hells yes, un," he confirmed, "I love horror stories and mysteries and stuff like that."

"_You're a mystery,_" I said quietly, not really thinking about the words as they sort of tumbled out.

"What was that, Danna un?" he asked, glancing over at me briefly before returning his attention to the book.

"Nothing, I was just thinking aloud."

I had given up on ever getting him to stop calling me that.

"Well un, I was thinking too," he said, "that we should get together one night, probably a Saturday, and stay up all night watching horror movies! I've got loads of them at home and I've seen them all but it's so much more fun when I have somebody to watch them with!"

I stared at him for a moment until he looked up at me, smiling brightly, as was his nature.

"What's wrong, un?" he asked.

"Ah, nothing," I said, shaking off that weird feeling.

"So then, do you want to, un?"

That feeling came right on back. "You mean… sort of like a date?" I asked, wishing I could go back in time and shoot myself three seconds before I'd decided to open my mouth.

Deidara laughed, "It doesn't have to be, if you're not into that un –"

"No, I'd like that," I managed to say, feeling more stupid with every word that came out.

"Good un," he said, returning to his book for a moment, "my mother always used to love horror movies; I've never met anyone else who could stand more than one."

"Is that the woman in all the pictures in your room?" I asked.

He seemed to stop for a moment, perhaps wondering when I would've ever seen those pictures, before remembering that I'd been to his house before, and hopefully realising he'd promised to tell me about his problems today.

"Yeah un, you'll probably notice those are the only pictures of her in the house," he said, "probably the only ones which still exist."

"So she was your father's first wife?"

"Nah un, they weren't married. I think that's part of the reason he hates me so much… I just kind of came out of nowhere six years ago and ruined his life, un."

Six years ago. He would've been the same age as Gaara, back then.

"Well… what happened?" I pressed; I really wanted to know everything about him.

"None of your business, un!" he growled, turning back to his book, which I promptly snatched off of the table, closed and put out of his reach.

"Come-on brat, you can tell me anything," I said.

"Pft, that's what my therapist used to say un," he muttered, not looking at me. It was starting to piss me off.

"I get it, this is a touchy subject for you, but that doesn't mean you have to shut me out. Tell me, what's the worst thing that could happen?"

He ignored my question, even though I knew he had an answer ready for me. Instead he asked a question of his own, "Did you ever have parents, un?"

"You expect me to answer that?" I asked, ready to refuse him, but the look on his face right then, told me I simply couldn't say no. "My parents died when I was young. I didn't know their names, I have no pictures of them or anything, and no memories either. Sometimes it's like I'm the only proof in this world that they even really existed."

Deidara nodded sadly, "it feels like that for me too, sometimes un," he said, "even though I have the pictures and the memories… nobody else ever acknowledges her existence, except my father, but he only ever says bad things about her."

"I guess we were both pretty much screwed from the start, huh?" I asked, wishing for the mood to lighten but knowing it probably never would. "If you don't want to say anything else, I won't make you."

"It would be wonderful if we never, _ever_ spoke about this again un."

I agreed never mention his mother again, even though I knew, if we were friends – or more – long enough, I'd want to know even more about him, until I had a reason set for the way he was.

* * *

**Much as i love this pairing, i think i might switch to another fandom after this fic.**


	10. Chapter 10

**So i've been a giant shithead all week and not updating, and i decided to write a mega long chapter to make up for it.**

**so please, accept my official apology:**

* * *

The rest of the week was a blur of Jack The Ripper, lunchtime softball practice, dealing with my cousins insatiable curiosity – Gaara was growing up much too fast – and listening to Tobi planning Kisame's way into Itachi's heart – which would've been sweet if you ignored Tobi's obvious ulterior motives.

I found myself looking forward to the two hours after school which I got to spent with Deidara, even if he _was_ still being a jerk about 75% of the time. He didn't seem too happy that he was passing all his classes now, but he smiled anyway whenever he got a question right during his calculus homework.

Watching the faces he made while reading those history books and the few sources we could find online, left me to wonder how he behaved while watching horror movies and I became eager for Saturday.

However, Friday came first ad since that was the start of softball season _and_ their first real game, Deidara and I only had half an hour after school before he had to run off and get ready, and I had to locate my cousins and drag them all down here.

He was getting better at independent study, so we spent basically thirty minutes – which I was being paid for – just talking. It had been like that a lot lately, but we still steered clear of topics like his family and his mother, and in return he refrained from mentioning my own family too often.

In some ways, it felt like were only getting skin deep, and that I didn't really know him at all, which was probably true, but I was happy enough to know what I already knew.

"Are you going to watch the game, un?" he asked me, seeming almost hopeful.

"I have to," I told him, watching him brighten up slight at my words, "Konan would be pissed if I missed her first game, and Itachi probably wouldn't be happy either."

"Oh un," I watched his face fall slightly, before he perked up again, "my father said he'd be there, un. He'll probably bring his other family, but I don't mind un."

Then, for the first time, I saw Deidara for what he really was; a kid fighting for his father's attention.

"You should've seen his face when I told him I was on the team un. He said it was the first time I'd ever done anything productive with my life," he continued, "but I told him not to get too used to it."

"There's a way to get that feeling all the time, you know," I told him, "if you actually put some effort into more than just being a brat."

He laughed, despite my insult, and said, "If I put too much effort into things, father will think I'm ready to be sent away."

Huh?

"Away where?

"Away far enough, that he'll be able to forget about me. When I was going to that private school, getting good grades and stuff un, I heard him talking to some people about sending me away to a boarding school abroad where I'd be able to _reach my full potential._ After I researched them, I figured out they wouldn't take me unless I was perfect, no matter how much my father paid them. So I did something to make sure I would never be an acceptable candidate un."

"I heard about that, there was a lot of speculation but nobody can tell me specifically what you did," I said, earning only a laugh, "but do you really think your father would abandon you like that? Even now?"

Anger was one of the first emotions I felt upon hearing that; having seen what abandonment had done to my cousins. Deidara was clearly already a screwed up kid, he didn't need this on top of everything else.

"Of course un. That's why it's important that sometimes, I don't do so well," he said. The alarm on his watch went off, meaning that he had to go, and so did I. he stood up quickly, shoving his books into his bag with all the excitement of a nine year old finally tall enough to ride the roller coasters, and said, "besides un, if I did too well in school then I wouldn't get to do this," before my mind could really process it, he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine in which could barely be described as a kiss, and yet seemed to have a similar impact, before he raced off out the door, calling out, "I'll see you later, Danna un!"

I had yet to put a label on our _relationship_ since everything he did seemed to confuse me more than I was before.

Since our almost kiss on Monday, Deidara seemed to have gotten braver around me, saying and doing things I knew he wouldn't have before, but it had never been more than light touches and chaste, almost kisses and shy whispers, showcasing yet another fragment of his complicated personality, which I had yet to come in contact with.

I knew by now at least, that I definitely liked him, in the way that boys were supposed to like girls, normal and healthy, that kind of thing. I knew I was definitely attracted to him, even if his personality could be repellent even in the best of times, and even if I was certain that I'd never felt attraction to anybody before, of either gender.

There was a part of me that knew he felt the same way, but there was too much holding both of us back.

As I said before, we only knew each other in a way that was skin deep.

I wanted to ask Tobi for advice – since I'd already practically sold him my soul, asking him for help wouldn't be so bad the second time around – but I felt like that would only end in my own tragic murder when I remembered that I wasn't supposed to be getting myself involved in any way with Deidara.

Why the hell was I letting an underclassmen boss me around anyway?

Right, cause Tobi was a psychopath.

That was something I had been forgetting an awful lot, lately.

* * *

By the time I was able to round up my cousins and bring them back to school with me, the first game was already starting. The girl's team was up first, since everybody – including the away team – knew our girls were going to win by a landslide.

We sat with Tobi, who was already waiting in the stands with Zetsu, Kisame and Pein. They had picked out a spot with a good enough view that we would be able to clearly see Konan and hopefully she would be able to see us, though obviously her focus would be on the game.

I warned my cousins to behave, despite the fact that I knew, if I looked away even for a second, they would completely disregard everything I said and despite the fact that I'd been forced to pack them all full of sugar which always made them rather restless, but I felt it was necessary anyway just to feel like I was doing a good job as a pseudo parent.

I didn't know a lot about the sport, but I could remember enough about it from my days as a middle schooler because even then, it had been the most popular sport in our town throughout every district. I had always preferred soccer.

The away team was up first and Konan was pitching, which was a point in her teams favour already, since she had been known to throw twice as hard as any of the boys, and that eerie way she used to stare when I helped her practice my first year, was awfully distracting.

The first batter struck out in less than half a minute.

The away team was out in the first ten minutes, having scored a total of three runs, two batters having struck out and a runner having been caught between second and third base.

Kakuzu and Hidan showed up somewhere during the third and final inning – in accordance to the mercy rule, since Konan's team was up so high – just as Konan was stepping up to the bat. She had hit every ball thrown her way the entire game, and even from way up there, I could see the smug look on her face.

"Those bastards don't stand a chance," Hidan said, once he was able to worm his way through the stand to sit with us.

"Dude, watch your language," I immediately said, not looking up. It was an automatic reflex by now.

"Watch your own damn language, I didn't tell you to bring your damn cousins along with you, it's not my fault if you can't afford a babysitter and it shouldn't inconvenience me, either!"

I sighed, forced to look away from the game, to see my cousins – particularly Gaara who was sitting closest to Hidan – watching closely and probably learning by example, as children often do.

"This place isn't public enough to keep me from killing you," I warned lowly, watching my cousins gaze shift over to me, shock written all over their faces.

We went through this every damn year at these stupid games.

"Yeah I'm real scared," Hidan scoffed.

At least he'd stopped swearing for the time being.

I looked back at the game just in time to watch Konan hit the ball, sending it flying into the crowd, and walking around all four bases just for show. She was the last batter for her team and the game was over.

One down, one to go.

It was getting dark by then, and I knew from experience that the boys game would take about another hour.

Konan came to sit with us after she'd changed back into her normal clothes, gushing about how much fun she'd had and how excited she was to watch Itachi play – though she was easily excitable anyway – just as Kisame got up to leave.

"Where's he going?" Konan asked, she seemed to be the only one interested in finding out, as the rest of us seriously couldn't care less.

Tobi pointed over by the mini stadium entrance and said, "Itachi's parents are here."

"Are you sure it's safe to take such a direct approach?" I asked.

"No, but I'm sure he can handle it," was Tobi's answer.

"Tobi!" Sasuke could be heard from the start of the stands as he began running in our direction.

"Oh shit, hide me," Tobi demanded, attempting to shrink into his seat.

"Tobi, can I sit here with you?" Sasuke asked, pushing past us all to get closer to his cousin.

"Wouldn't you rather sit with your parents, kid?" Tobi asked.

"They said it's okay if I sit with you!" Sasuke insisted, "Besides, father doesn't really want to be here! It just looks _bad_ if he doesn't show his face!"

"I guess you've got a point kid," Tobi sighed. It was clear that, although Sasuke had taken a particular liking to him in his childish ignorance, Tobi didn't feel the same way. "Fine, you can sit with us. Guys, move over."

We did as we were told while I was thinking how lucky it was that Sasuke never questioned Tobi's behaviour.

We watched the game play out, I really wasn't interested in these sorts of things but I watched as close as I could manage.

Deidara was pitching for the boys team – knowing what I know, that has a double meaning – he stood out even in the dim mini-stadium lighting, as the only blonde on the field. He was nowhere near as good as Konan – who seemed to be able to call upon a reserve of monstrous strength from time to time – but it didn't matter since the entire team was synced enough to get the first three runners out almost automatically.

Tobi credited it to Itachi, when his younger cousins asked why our school was so good at this sport.

I knew they were playing in the primary schools as well, since I'd gotten a letter saying Gaara had almost attacked one of the students with the bat.

Hopefully they weren't gonna be sending social workers over anytime soon.

When the home team switched over, Itachi was the first to step up, causing Sasuke to jump up and down excitedly and say, "I bet he hits it so far, they'll have to stop playing 'cause they won't be able to find it!" he said.

"They have more than one ball, kid," Tobi said, putting a hand on his cousins head in an attempt to cease the extremely annoying bouncing.

"And besides, there's no way he's gonna beat me," Konan said, "especially not on my last year! He knows better than that."

He _did_ know better than that, and just like Konan said, Itachi didn't manage to hit as far as her, but still sent the thing flying almost as soon as it was thrown. That much could be credited to his eyes, which could track anything, no matter how fast it was going.

Kisame came back around the time when the teams were switching again.

"How'd it go?" again, Konan was the only one who seemed to care.

"Well they didn't say _no,_" Kisame said, careful about his words, "his mother seemed to like me."

"No, no that's just her defence," Tobi warned, "wait for the offence. She may seem nice when you first meet her, but that woman can be a real nightmare, especially when it comes to her sons."

"He's right," Sasuke confirmed, altogether unconcerned over the fact that they were discussing his family.

"It'll be alright though," Tobi said, "once Itachi's out of high school, graduated college and medical school with honours and has made it as a successful surgeon; they won't be able to run his life anymore. You can wait right?"

"Well the dance is in two months," Kisame said, pretending to contemplate it, "and all that seems like it's going to take at least a year…"

"I'm sure you'll think of something," Konan said, in that distantly comforting way she had.

I almost fell asleep during the rest of the game. It was getting late, and it wasn't hard to fall asleep in public when you were used to sleeping by the train tracks, though as I started drifting off while the teams were switching again, I noticed Deidara leaving the field. All of the noise around me was drowned out by the fact that I was exhausted form such a long week, but I was quickly – _and_ rudely – woken up by Temari, almost pushing me out of my seat.

"What do you want?" I asked my voice thick and tired. She simply pointed me in the direction of her brothers.

"They need to use the bathroom," Temari said.

"Can't you take them?" I asked. Walking through the school at night as so _creepy!_

"No! I can't go into the boy's bathroom, that's gross!" Temari immediately exclaimed, acting as if she had never done that before.

"Hey, can you take Sasuke with you?" Tobi asked, gesturing towards his squirming cousin. "I don't want to miss the game."

Of _course_ he would use that excuse. It wasn't like he really cared anyway.

But it wasn't long before the sound of three whining kids left me unable to fall back to sleep, so I stood and dragged them along with me, muttering that I shouldn't have let them drink anything before the start of the game. Not that I wanted to watch either, I just didn't want to get up.

"This is what high school looks like?" Kankuro asked once we were inside the building and strolling quickly down a dark hall. Luckily I had the place mapped out in my mind, or we'd probably get lost, very easily. "This is where I'll be going in two years?"

"Give or take," I said, "don't be frustrated if it takes you a little longer to move up, than the other kids your age."

Hell at this rate, Gaara would be in high school before Kankuro was.

"And you'll probably be going to private school, right?" I asked Sasuke.

"No way! I'm going to public school, just like my big brother!"

There were two things I never really understood; why did Itachi choose to go to public school, and why did his little brother think so highly of him?

Questions without answers, I guess, unless you have time to sit around and ponder them for hours on end.

They talked quietly amongst themselves as I led them through the school, but as we neared the bathrooms, I heard somebody else's voice, recognisable only by the distinct speech impediment. It sounded like the brat was talking to himself, but as we rounded the final corner; I could see him standing at the far end of the hallway talking through a phone.

I knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but he hadn't seemed to notice me so I guessed that it was okay.

Once the kids disappeared into the bathroom, I was more or less able to hear what Deidara was saying.

"What do you mean you're not coming, un?" I knew straight away he must've been talking to his father, "I don't care what you told her, you made a promise to me _first_ un! The only reason I joined this stupid team was – fine un, I don't care, go and spend time with your daughter, I'm done playing, anyway!"

He hung up the phone and dialled a new number, stomping into the boys locker room, probably to get changed back into his normal clothes. I heard him say, "yeah un, it _has_ been a while… nah I'm totally free right now, what are you guys up to right now? Something crazy, right?"

I knew Deidara was about to make a bad decision, and I also knew there was really nothing I could do to stop it.

Tobi had told me something once – he was the kind of kid who was constantly imparting wisdom that should've been completely useless, but just needed to age before you could properly use it – that different kinds of people turned to different things when they were sad or angry. Some turned to alcohol or drugs, some turned to food, or internet porn – it happens, trust me – or trying to sleep forever, and then there were those kinds of people, who had a special set of friends for when they were feeling down.

The basic qualifications for this special set of friends, were that they were reckless and irresponsible and would get you messed up so bad that you would forget why you were angry in the first place. Generally, you knew them from your past and only contacted them when it was absolutely necessary.

I knew Deidara was talking right then, to _those_ friends.

The boys came out of the bathroom right as Deidara was leaving the locker room down the hall, fully dressed in his street clothes, bag slung around his shoulder and heading our way, towards the main exit.

"No un, I don't have any poor people plans! Sure, I'll meet you there in twenty minutes un." He hung up once again and tucked his phone away, walking right past us as though he didn't see us.

"Hey, isn't that the pitcher?" Kankuro asked, as I began to drag them back outside.

"Who cares? My brother can throw twice as far as that guy!" Sasuke insisted. It was a feat that I knew I shouldn't doubt.

"Won't they be a player short?" Gaara asked, as if he even really cared.

"I'm sure they have substitutes or something, kid," I said.

When we got back to our seats, it seemed as if nobody noticed the switch and the fact that Deidara was no longer out on the field – except for Tobi, who took a shot at Deidara's integrity – and it kind of felt like he had never been there in the first place.

It took me back to what he'd said, or actually back to everything he had said.

Sometimes, it really did seem like he was nothing.

* * *

After the game, the main trains had stopped running, though the buses would be going all night and there would be out of the way trains going past our apartment until morning, there was no public transport available to take us home.

Tobi offered to take us, so he wouldn't get stuck with Sasuke, and since Gaara was pretty much dead on his feet, I had no choice but to accept.

The rest of our small group had already arranged means of getting home; Kisame would be picked up, Itachi had already agreed to take Konan ad Pein back to their orphanage, and Hidan and Kakuzu would walk, since they lived close to each other and nobody was going to mess with either of them, even in the middle of the city. So, I piled my cousins into the back of Zetsu's car, carrying Gaara with me, and we were off.

Zetsu's driving style differed a whole lot from Deidara's, because no matter how many times Tobi egged him on, he wouldn't drive a single point over the speed limit, and he didn't run red lights or do anything to endanger the passengers or pedestrians.

Once I got home, dragged my now sleeping cousin through the door and dropped him on his bed, I figured I'd stay awake for at least a few minutes to worry about what was going to happen to Deidara, but as soon as my head hit the uncomfortable pillow I was forced to sleep with every night, I fell asleep.

My dreams were blank, like they usually were, I dreamed only of nothingness but I felt it might've been a metaphor for my life.

After, the only thing I had going for me, was my cousins, and they weren't really all that much. But still, I embraced the nightly emptiness which followed closing my eyes.

Until I woke up at three am, for some unknown reason.

Something had woken me up. if it was another train, I was going to _destroy_ that station, I didn't care if that meant we'd have to walk to school!

But it was another train, I usually slept right through them and the tiny tremors they caused to shake the building.

So then…

The phone rang again, loud and shrill.

That must've been what had woken me in the first place.

I stumbled off of the couch, thankful that we didn't have one of those stupid mini tables. I fumbled around in the dark, guided only by the light sweeping through the aged and worn curtains, and the shrill ring of the phone as it went off again, echoing against the kitchen tiles.

I had to get it before it woke my cousins. They were a nightmare to put back to bed in the early hours of the morning. They'd rather watch TV.

I picked up the phone tiredly, making sure I had it up the right way before saying in the least tired voice I could manage, "hello?"

I heard sniffling on the other side, and I considered just hanging up because I was too damn tired for that crap, but when I heard familiar laughter, I woke straight up and listened.

"Danna un, I really need you… I need you to come and get me, un."

I heard other voices in the background, but I couldn't quite hear what they were saying. Though I knew I was awake, it still felt as though I was asleep.

"Brat, where are you?" I asked, once I could manage coherent thought, I was pulling on my jacket and shoes before I could even process it, "what happened?"

"I went with some friends un… we're down at the pier… un I'm scared," he whispered, "Come get me, un."

I was heading for the door already, without a single concern for my cousins. Temari would be able to handle them if something happened and I would be back before the morning.

"Alright, stay right where you are brat, don't move at all. I'll be there as soon as I can."

* * *

**I know it's totally lame, but deal with it! this took me all of two days to write!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Well my lovely readers, thank you all for the awesome reviews! i read and loved al of them! and i was highly amused by the content of some of them, you all have very interesting ideas and thoughts, some of which helped to shape this chapter, so thank you for that.**

**now i know this chapter is totally lame, but its completely important so bear with it!**

* * *

I got to the pier in exactly twenty minutes, courtesy of one very expensive cab ride, and about five minutes running as fast as my legs would allow.

When I got there, I saw Deidara's car – or his drivers car, whatever – parked behind some buildings, but what really caught my attention were the fire engines and police cars, the bright red and blue lights filled the dark space to the point where it was almost blinding, and I felt my stomach sink at the horrible possibilities.

My first reaction had been that Deidara had gotten hurt by those _friends_ he mentioned. _Hurt._ I didn't even want to consider the possibility that he'd been…

It just made me too angry to even think about.

But now things were getting a little clearer.

I raced to the storefront, the sea was on one side and closed off, probably abandoned buildings on the other side. I could smell fish and salt and the ocean, but most of all I could smell alcohol and smoke. A building had been put out and its blackened skeleton lay smouldering in its place. A few firemen were exploring the wreck, while police officers questioned two guys; they were a little older than Deidara, probably a year or two older than Konan and Pein.

The brat himself, was sitting mostly out of view, he was sat at the end of the pier, his feet hanging just above the ocean. It was a new moon that night so his figure was covered in blue and red, rather than pale white.

I made my way over to him, aware that my footsteps echoed against the creaky, splintering wood. The ocean was oddly quiet, and I was able to hear every broke breath he took.

Upon further inspection, Deidara was a mess. His shirt was torn up to the point where it was simply a few scraps of material clinging to his body. His right shoulder looked as though it had been burnt, as this a large portion of his right leg, I could see where the material had been burnt off, leaving only red skin to be seen. It didn't look too bad though, nothing that would scar – with Kankuro living in my house, I could've been considered an expert on minor injuries.

But worst was the look on his face, it was a mixture of _I really fucked up_ and _I want to die._

That look was quite familiar to me.

"Brat, what happened?" I cringed at the way my voice seemed so loud, as I reached out to touch his left shoulder hoping to get his attention. He immediately jerked away from my touch, as though I stung.

"don't touch me un," he said, like an automatic reflex. His voice shook and his words were uncertain. He looked up and saw me and seemed to sigh in relief, "oh, it's just you Danna, un."

"Of course it's me, now are you going to tell em what happened?" I sat down beside him, making sure to keep my distance and to keep my annoyance out of my voice.

"I got a little too close to the fire, un," he said.

"Okay, so who started the fire?"

He looked away, shame written all over his face and filling his eyes.

"It's alright brat. You can tell me anything," I reminded him.

"It's just, I was so _angry_ un, because he _always_ does this and I didn't know why I'd even bothered to get my hopes up in the first place. I left the game and met up with some friends I knew from private school… they're sort of in college now un, bt that's not important."

He was starting to babble now, and I realised he was just about on the verge of hysterics. I reached out and took his hand and said, "Slow down, tell me about the fire."

He nodded, maybe not even noticing that we were touching.

"There were like eight or nine of them before, a couple of girls as well, when I got there… they were already drinking and I didn't want to be the only one not doing it so I started drinking too… and I didn't really notice it but they all sort of left and it was just the three of us, and we were going to steal a boat un, I don't know why but it seemed like a good idea at the time and we ended up in that building and it was dark and I got a little lost and I heard them talking about stuff, and about me… and maybe they thought I couldn't hear them un, but –"

"Tell me they didn't do anything to you," I said, trying as hard as I could to keep my voice levelled and calm when I was about ready to kill whoever had hurt him and subsequently caused me to be woken at three in the morning.

"It was so dark un, and I was backed into a corner, I was really scared once I realised their intentions… so I set a fire, so I could get away… un, I didn't realise we'd gone in there looking for petrol for the boat, before they got… _side-tracked._ The place went up like nothing, un, I was lucky to get out alive, and so were they."

_Lucky._

"I'm glad that you're alright," I heard myself say.

"That makes one of us," he said quietly. "You know, I called everybody, every single one of my contacts, and you're the only one who even bothered to pick up."

"Well I don't have caller ID," I reasoned.

He ignored me and said, "Why'd you let me go with them? Why did you let me leave the school?"

"What?"

"I saw you in the hall, with your cousins and that Uchiha brat… why didn't you do anything to stop me?"

"I didn't realise that was _my_ responsibility. Your old enough to make your own decisions now aren't you?"

"That's not the point, un!" he insisted.

"Then what is?"

Perhaps he had no answer, or maybe there was no point. Perhaps he was simply too shaken up to think completely straight. But he kissed me, and it wasn't like before, light and quick and sweet, it was more desperate and sloppy and sad.

I knew it was probably because he was more or less intoxicated and not thinking straight, and had just been through a traumatic – more or less – experience and was feeling vulnerable and scared and –

Eh, to hell with making excuses!

I kissed back tentatively, hoping I wasn't taking advantage of his state, though he seemed pretty in control. He leaned up against me, pressing his body against mine until we fell back.

He held my arms at my sides, his grip so tight I was vaguely afraid he'd break something, but it was understandable after what had happened, and so for a moment I didn't do anything about it.

But then I remembered it was four in the morning, we were out on a pier, one of us had been drinking and the other was verging on completely exhausted. I knew it would be better to stop before things got too far, so I pushed him away, with all the strength I had.

"Brat, let me take you home… you're not thinking straight, you need sleep."

He smiled down at me sadly and said, "I'm sorry un, I didn't mean for any of this to happen… I just…"

"It's alright," I assured him, sitting up carefully, supporting him and being careful not to touch his burns. "Are they going to charge you for the damages, or arrest you or anything?"

"Nah un, my father knows some people. This incident will disappear just like the last time, un. He won't even mention it when I get home… nothing I do has any effect on him."

"Okay, well do I need to take you to the hospital?"

"No un, these aren't so bad… I've been burnt worse than this before. It sort of comes with the territory."

"What territory, brat?"

He laughed, but it didn't sound anything like before. "There's a lot you still don't know about me, Danna, un."

I got up, pulling him to his feet with me. "Well I'd like to know to properly," I said, "but I'm actually a little concerned about the things I might hear. Something tells me you had a pretty messed up life, even before you started living with your father."

"You'd be right to think that, un," he agreed. He allowed me to drag him along the pier and back onto – more or less – solid ground. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. "I don't want to go home just yet un, isn't there somewhere else we can go?"

"Everything is closed, brat. And the places that aren't, are _not_ places we want to be right now," or ever, "if you don't want to go home, you can come back with me. My cousins will be expecting me to be there when they wake up, anyway. Will you be alright to drive?"

"No! I may not be drunk enough to lose conheren-coher-co"

"Coherency," I supplied.

"Yeah that, I may not be that drunk, but I'm not a very good driver, even when I'm sober."

"Wow, I never thought you'd admit it," I said, before realising we had no other way to get back, "Well I can't drive either, so I guess that means we'll have to walk." I had no money left for any type of public transport which might've still been in service. Not on me anyway.

With another yawn, and casting a glance back at the scene of the fire, Deidara said, "I guess that's okay."

* * *

It took us two entire hours to walk from the pier to my crappy apartment across town and by then, Deidara was pretty much dead on his feet. Throughout our journey through town, he'd alternated between tiredly telling me random facts about his life and asking me about my own, and practically sleepwalking.

"Un, why are there so many _stairs!_" he complained, "and why are they _outside!_ It's freaking cold out here!"

I would've felt bad for him, if he hadn't tricked me out of my jacket an hour ago.

"Just be lucky that this is a onetime thing and you don't have to climb these stairs every day with three annoying little cousins," I told him, "besides, you're a fit guy, this shouldn't be a problem for you."

"But I'm _tired_!"

"Well, you should've thought about that before you woke me up."

He sighed, "I'm sorry Danna un, next time I'll just stumble home by myself instead of inconveniencing you un."

"So you should."

He laughed lightly. I was glad that he was already returning to himself, though I wasn't too eager to see him return _fully_ to himself just yet. I was enjoying this new side of him, it was like every time I looked, he had a new personality and I was fully enjoying this latest one, however I knew it wouldn't last long and I could only really hope that the next side he decided to show, wasn't too bad.

Once we'd reached my floor, I unlocked the door – thankfully I'd remembered my key – and let us in.

I was expecting to find my apartment quiet and orderly with my cousins sleeping in their bed – was it weird that they all shared one bed? But I found almost the exact opposite.

"Dude, put that out your gonna burn the entire building down!" Temari yelled, coming out of the bathroom to see Gaara staring blankly at the microwave, which he'd managed to set on fire, probably trying to make boiled eggs again – sadly, this had happened before.

"I'm trying to stop it with my mind!" Kankuro insisted; even though he was on the other side of the room, watching _really_ early morning TV, not age appropriate TV either.

"Idiots!" Temari yelled. She flipped the main switch which powered everything in the kitchen, causing some of the flames to die down, before throwing water over it. It was effective enough not to make an even bigger mess.

I'd made the right decision leaving her home with the boys.

"What are you guys doing up?" I asked, once I'd closed the door loud enough to get their attention.

"We could ask you the same thing," Gaara said quietly.

"Yeah, how do you think we felt waking up and finding out you weren't here?" Temari asked, "For all we knew, you might not have been coming back!"

"Yeah and where would I go? I hate to break it to you kid, but this is as good as it's going to get for any of us till one of you makes it big."

Kankuro, having decided to ignore most of our conversation, said, "I thought you said we weren't allowed visitors."

Sighed audibly, I said, "That's because the last time you brought somebody home with you, the two of you decided it would be a good idea to systematically turn _everything_ upside down. Do you know how _annoying_ that was?"

"We were trying to practice our –"

"Your telekinesis, I know. Just, not another word, alright?" All three of my cousins nodded obediently, "good. The four of you are giving me a headache and the sun isn't even up yet."

Kankuro frowned and took the time to actually count out the extra people in the room, before coming to the conclusion that there _were_ in fact, four people there besides me.

Sometimes I really didn't know with that kid.

"You kids go back to bed, it's too early to be dealing with you right now," again, they immediately obeyed, stopping to turn the television off before disappearing into their room, leaving just me and Deidara, who looked like he was going to fall asleep.

"So, you're not going to say anything?" I asked him, noticing his tired eyes warily taking the place in, "nothing about how you'd rather be at home right now?"

"Are you kidding? This is a lot like my real home un," he said, "you know, I didn't grow up living in that big house. When mum was still alive, we used to live in a shithole just like this, except it was by an airport, and above a bowling alley un."

He didn't seem to realise that he'd just shared two significant facts about himself. He'd never previously discussed that his mother was no longer alive, though I had suspected it for the longest of times. I knew I shouldn't bring it up again.

We were both seated on the couch by now, both too tired to want to stand any longer, and the couch, despite it's obvious lumpiness, was the most comfortable looking seat in the room.

"There aren't any airports in this town," I said, rather than bluntly pressing for more information.

"Yeah un, because I didn't live here growing up. I moved here exactly two weeks after mum died… I never felt right living in that big house with all those people around to do things for me un. I never liked having money… is that weird?"

"Yeah brat, that's weird. You know how many people I'd kill to be in your position?"

"Hm, probably the same amount of people I'd kill to be in yours un. Isn't it nice having people depend on you, people who care about you and need you?"

I thought for a moment about my cousins, they were a handful at the best of times and were always doing stupid things. Sometimes they were mind-numbingly stupid and other times I just wished I could get away from them. They were basically good kids though and it was clear – most of the time anyway – that they meant well enough.

I opened my mouth to answer his question, only to find that he'd fallen asleep. I could feel his full weight on my shoulder, and I could see the less-troubled look on his face. I was exhausted as well, so I just laid back, allowing him to fall back as well. I closed my eyes and once again, I let darkness take over.

* * *

**I seriously just couldn't resist putting his cousins in for a little while! i love them!**


	12. Chapter 12

**So, really late update.. but i can explain! i've been working everyday since my last update, plus my sisters twenty-first was this weekend. you think i'm going to miss that? well no, i'm not.**

**so first day of school tomorrow, which means i should be updating more or less regularly again. i get a lot of writing done at school so yall have that to look forward too.**

**anyways i know this chapter is totally lame. just bear with it, okay?**

* * *

When we woke up around midday, Deidara still didn't want to go home. I think if we were to let him, he'd stay in our cruddy apartment for the rest of his life, but there simply wasn't any room.

Since it was Saturday, my cousins dragged me out of the house, like they usually did – though sometimes it was me who dragged _them_ out in order to avoid collectors which we no longer had to deal with. So in turn, I forced Deidara to leave with us as well.

We walked a few blocks to the bus stop – Deidara reminiscing over everything he saw, because apparently our neighbourhood was just like his old one – with the kids walking ahead of us. Temari was whispering things to Kankuro and Gaara, both of whom remained silent while she spoke. I never knew what she was always gossiping about to everybody, but whatever it was, it made my cousins giggle; all three of them.

"She's pretty good with them, huh un?" Deidara asked me when we were on the bus. He had been watching my cousins as well, either out of curiosity or a sub-conscious want to have younger siblings – though technically, he had Ino.

"Well yeah, she should be 'cause they're _her_ brothers," I said.

"How did you get stuck taking care of them anyway, un?"

"I wouldn't call myself _stuck._ But somebody had to do it and their deadbeat father wasn't an option either –"

"There was one other option," Kankuro interjected, shocking both of us because even though they were right in front of us, we didn't know any of my cousins had been listening.

"But we didn't want to live with _her_," Gaara added.

"Neither did Sasori, so he kept us!" Temari said, "kind of like kittens he found behind his house! Except we cost more, we're louder, more destructive and routinely make him wish he'd made a different decision."

"Pretty much," I agreed. "But now that Temari's gotten older, it's easier to let certain things slide, 'cause I know she'll handle them. So sometimes it's like I'm not really needed."

"That's not true! We'll always need you!" Temari said, in that happy way that she had, "even when you go to college in a few years!"

"You're going to college un?" Deidara asked, looking at me as though he'd never seen me before.

"Of course he is!" Kankuro said.

"I haven't decided yet," I said quietly, hoping nobody would hear me. Unfortunately, my hopes were shattered.

"What!"

"What?"

"What?!"

"Hah, I knew it un."

"What are you talking about, _you haven't decided!_ There is no decision to be made! The only choice you have is what you're going to go there to study! No, you don't even have that choice anymore! You're going to be a lawyer! And a good one! A _rich_ lawyer and you'll probably end up defending Gaara in court a couple of times but it'll be alright because by then you'll be the best lawyer in this stupid town and we'll have enough money to leave and live in an apartment with more than one bedroom!" Temari yelled, getting the entire buses attention pointed at us.

And all I could say was, "when they arrest Gaara, he won't be given a trial."

"Well you can fight for one with your law degree! I don't want my little brother going to jail!"

"Well maybe if he wasn't a bad enough criminal to get caught in the first place!"

"He can't help it! He was turned to a life of crime when his older cousin decided _not_ to go to college!"

I frowned, "but if me not going to college caused him to become a criminal, how am I supposed to use my law degree to fight for a trial to keep him out of prison?"

She stopped and thought about it, before yelling, "Well maybe if you went to college, you'd be able to figure it out!"

Deidara sat beside me laughing, he said, "Un, she sounds like she's older! It's like you're her _bitch._"

"Don't say that in front of my cousins," I warned, "just because you're rich and we're on a public bus, doesn't mean I won't hurt you."

"Like I'm scared of you, Danna un."

These days, it seemed like nobody was afraid of me.

"Look kids, let's just put a pin in the whole _me going to college_ thing. Remember, I still have the three of you to worry about."

"We'll be fine!" Temari insisted, "Well, they will, once you graduate and get a really good job, it shouldn't be any trouble getting enough money for their tuition! And maybe I'll just have to get a scholarship or something, but we'll make it work."

I hadn't gotten around to telling her that I'd sold myself – pretty much – in exchange for her tuition.

"Is it weird that I miss being worrying about money, un?" Deidara wondered aloud.

"Yes brat, anything you think about money, is weird."

"You could always give all of your money to us, then you wouldn't have to miss being poor!" Kankuro said.

"Believe me un, if I could then I would give you guys every last drop of my father's money, just so I could watch his family suffer."

"He's weird," Gaara said quietly, but loud enough for us all to hear.

Yeah, he was really one to talk.

My cousins ended up dragging me to the mall. I hate the mall. There are far too many people for my liking, too much noise, too many stores, too many different smells from different food stores and the whole place just sort of screamed _impending financial ruin._

But if it made them happy, I knew I could endure for a while. It was still early anyway, so there weren't many people around yet and the ones who were, were too old to be much of a bother, or too young for me to care about. So for about two hours, I watched Deidara and my cousins run around from store to store, looking at things that they wanted but knew we couldn't afford – I think it's called window shopping, but really why would somebody do something that would only remind them how poor they were?

All three of my cousins seemed to take an immediate shine to Deidara – though Temari had already had the chance to get to know him before – since he was just like one of them. he wouldn't be any good at caring for them though, that much was clear by the way that they got into three times as much trouble with him. I was forced to deal with them attempting to shoplift – which Temari informed me would only get worse if I didn't go to college – though Deidara ended up paying for everything he'd convinced the kids to steal, and I had to handle a few clashes between Gaara and practically anyone who got in his way, which Deidara had only spurred on.

All in all, it was a pretty average day, until we were in sight of the arcade.

Now I believe I've mentioned many, many times before how good for nothing Kankuro is, but if there's one microscopic thing in this infinite world he's good at, it's arcade games, even the ones which are obviously rigged. And so he dragged me over there, with all the strength of an adult twice his size.

"Come-on, I wanna play!" he said.

"Well too bad, I don't have any money," I lied. Wow, I was actually lying about _not_ having money.

"Un, I think I have some cash," Deidara said, "is there a coin machine around here?"

"Yeah, come-on!" Kankuro exclaimed, dragging the blonde into the arcade with him, Gaara following mindlessly after them – having always been a fan of that stupid game _Stacker_ and having wasted all of my spare change on several previous occasions – it seemed neither of them had a problem with taking someone else's money and Deidara either didn't realise or didn't care that I simply didn't want to go in there.

If there was one thing I hated more than the mall, it was the arcade. It was dark, but it wasn't dark, there was the constant sound of various video games, beeping, flashing lights, excited yelling from children and the occasional frightened scream, plus everything was sticky.

But I followed them anyway, not willing to leave my cousins with Deidara. Even if he _was_ older than my oldest cousin, it didn't make him responsible enough to handle them.

"I haven't been in a place like this in six years, un," I heard Deidara saying as Temari and I followed the other three inside. He had been saying things like that all day, apparently having fun revisiting fragments of his old life where he used to be happy. "There was an arcade two blocks from my old apartment where I used to wait for my mum to get off work. But now that I live with my father, apparently I'm not to be seen in places like this."

That was the only good thing about malls and arcades; it was very unlikely that I would run into one of my friends.

"Six years?" Kankuro asked, seeming almost scandalized by this new revelation, "then I bet you really suck at these games!"

"Whatever kid, why don't we put some money on it, un?" he paused for a moment after saying that, before saying, "oh right un, you're poor… alright, but I bet I can still beat you at every game in here!"

"You're on!"

And those were the words that started a forty-five minute long torrent of misery – on my part anyway.

They played racing games, fighting games, air hockey and practically every other game that was available, both managing to get an equal amount of wins before returning to where Temari and I sat, watching disdainfully – or in Temari's case, with rabid interest. Gaara also returned at one point, toting a large white teddy bear which he claimed to have spent the entire time winning from a claw machine.

"For a kid, you're pretty good," Deidara admitted begrudgingly as they made their way over.

"I know," Kankuro said, "Sasori says it's my only defining quality, whatever that means."

"So you guys are done? We can leave now?" I asked hopefully, when I knew I shouldn't be.

"But there's one more game we haven't tried!" Kankuro complained

"You've tried _all_ the games, like a thousand times," I said lowly.

Temari laughed beside me and said, "cut them a little slack, they're just having fun!" she was looking at them as though they were _both_ her little brothers, which was weird in a number of ways.

"Nuh-uh, we haven't tried _that_ one!" Kankuro pointed across the arcade at one game I was vaguely familiar with.

"Dance dance revolution, un! That was my favourite game when I was younger!"

The four of us stared at him for a moment. Sure, we knew Kankuro was a total DDR freak, but we didn't think there was anyone else like him.

"You play too?" Kankuro asked excitedly.

I groaned internally, knowing that this was probably leading to another forty-five minutes of swirling misery.

"Of course, un! And I bet I play better than –"

His sentence was interrupted by the sound of his phone going off, the generic ringtone sounded out obnoxiously loud and he took it out of his pocket to answer it, completely giving up on his conversation.

"holy shit un, 67 missed calls, 104 messages, all from Ino and _that_ woman," he said, staring at his phone screen with a contemplative look on his face before answering it, "what the hell do you want, un?"

It was reminiscent of the way _I_ sometimes answered the phone, in an attempt to ward off telemarketers and lazy debt collectors/ I knew at heart, Deidara was still a poor boy with nothing and no one and not a single worrying care in the world besides the thought of whether or not his home would still be there the next day.

My cousins and I watched his talk, our expressions varying from different levels of curiosity, fascination and raw interest.

"No I didn't forget what day it is un, why do you think I'm not there right now?" _pause,_ "don't even _pretend_ you were worried, you and your mother were probably hoping I'd end up found dead in a ditch by morning and dad probably didn't even notice I wasn't there!" _pause,_ "I stayed the night with a friend – so what un? that's between me and the cops, un! What? I'm not coming home yet un, not until that _bitch_ is out of my house! And you can tell dada that I'm _not_ going to marry her or any other slut he brings home, un!"

With that, Deidara hung up and tucked his phone back away in his pocket. He turned back around to face us and maybe for the first time realised that turning his back to us didn't make us deaf.

"My father is trying to hook me up with one of his friends daughters un," he said in explanation, "he says I might as well do some good for my family; it's just another dumb excuse to get rid of me."

There was silence for a moment while I tried not to think about the fact that Deidara was practically engaged and had so many potential female suitors. At this rate, it was only a matter of time before he was _forced_ into a relationship with one of them.

"So _that's_ what it means to be rich," Gaara said finally breaking the silence.

"Yep, and if _we_ were rich, I'd have married all three of you off a long time ago," I told them, "well… maybe not Temari, she's the only one of you three that actually has any potential."

"I have potential!" Kankuro immediately argued.

"Sure you do sweetie," Temari said in an automatic tone of comfort, patting his head. Out of all my cousins, she seemed the most outwardly curious about Deidara's situation, and she sparked up the rest of them with her question, "so have you met her?"

"Was she pretty?" Kankuro continued.

"Did she speak with a British accent?" Gaara asked.

"Why would she?" I asked him, annoyance clear in my voice.

"Because British accents are cool," Temari said.

"And because rich people have them!" Kankuro added.

Sometimes, I really hated my cousins.

Deidara laughed at the sudden energy my cousins were displaying, before saying, "no un, I haven't met her yet I usually scare potential suitors off in the first hour, so father had done a good job of keeping us apart. I've only really seen pictures."

"So was she pretty?" Kankuro asked again, not realising that every time he took an interest in that woman, it was like stabbing a knife right through my back.

Wait, no it wasn't!

I didn't care!

Deidara could go off and marry some strange rich girl, I didn't care!

Dammit yes I did. Like it or not, I had somehow gotten myself involved in his life.

This was _bad._

Deidara looked over at me briefly before smiling down at Kankuro and saying, "Eh, she wasn't my type, un."

"Well what _is_ your type?" Temari pressed, nosy as ever.

"It varies un," he said, moving to exit the arcade because apparently he had somewhere to be. all my cousins followed after him dragging me along with them. "But the shallow women father routinely brings home aren't something I'd ever be interested in. they only care about material things un, and not about words or character or anything deeper than their layers of imported make-up. I think I'd rather be with someone who hadn't been fed good fortune off of a silver spoon their entire lives."

Temari giggled slightly before she could stop herself, obviously reading in between the lines.

"Now I have to go home and meet her un, and if all goes badly, we'll be getting married in December," Deidara seemed to get a brilliant idea right then and said, "hey you four should come over; if _I'm_ to enough to scare her off, maybe you guys can help!"

My cousins seemed fairly excited at the prospect of going back to that side of town, but I was unsure.

"I don't know… I don't want to overstep our boundaries or anything…" I said.

"Pft, who cares about that when it's matter of me marrying a rich girl, un?"

Damn, he had me there

"Fine let's get your car and we'll go."

* * *

**By The Way, how do we all feel about body-switching? because it was suggested by my lovely reader Kathlan315 who completely sold me on the idea. i think it'd be a great way to see things better from Deidara's perspective, plus i've been working on material for it in my mind while at work... so give your opinion.. if i don't get any complaints, or less complaints than praise, it's happening.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Again, sorry for the late update, but im started school so... yeah. also, sorry for my OC, but she just came out of nowhere and demanded to be acknowledged.**

**i'm really sorry that this chapter SUCKS but on the bright side, it's really long...**

* * *

Though I had been there before, the size of Deidara's house – or really of any house on that side of town – never ceased to amaze me. It was like one of the factories over the fence across the tracks from my apartment, though his house didn't look evil or dirty or like people routinely commit murder or suicide inside of it, nor did it have large chimney's constantly puffing out smoke which was sure to damage my cousin's lungs.

When I thought about it, I was certain that if my cousins were to stand on one side of this house and I were to stand at the other, I wouldn't be able to hear even the slightest whisper of their voices, no matter how loud they were. That's why I wanted a house this size.

I had spent the walk back to the pier warning my cousins not to say or do anything they wouldn't want their mother to see – I know, it's a low shot and might not work on Gaara since he didn't think too highly of his mother, but something had to be done – while Deidara actively told them to act like little monsters, getting them sugared up with stuff he'd bought from the mall.

Apparent he was going for the _children are a nightmare_ angle which started with my cousins convincing that woman that children were something she'd never, ever want, and ended with Deidara demanding a thousand of them if they were to get married.

I didn't like it.

Sure it seemed like a solid enough plan, and had more morality than a lot of the others things he'd confessed to doing to previous women, but I still didn't like it.

I didn't like the thought of my cousins being used in his evil plot and I didn't like to think about that woman, whoever she was.

"I'm home, un!" Deidara called out as he stepped inside, gesturing for us to follow him which we reluctantly did.

Stomping was heard coming towards the room and a small, familiar blonde showed her face, a scowl twisting her young features and hate burning in her eyes.

"Welcome home asshole," Ino hissed, quietly enough so that we were the only ones who would possibly hear her. "I've been waiting here for you for _four_ hours, why didn't you come home last night?!"

"None of your business runt," Deidara replied, "and don't swear, un. Just because you have no decency, doesn't mean my guests are the same."

Ino looked behind her half-brother for the first time, seeing the four of us, she smiled politely and I watched an almost predatory look fill her eyes as they landed on Gaara who subsequently hid himself behind Temari and I.

Ino looked back and Deidara and said, "What the hell are they doing here? You're supposed to be meeting with your future wife today, not screwing around with your tutor and his cousins!" she sighed, clearly annoyed about something, "whatever, I don't want you to marry that girl anyway. Just do your thing and get that woman and her bitch little sister out of here."

Deidara laughed, obviously happy with this turn of events, he said, "oh, she has a little sister that you don't like, un? And if she and I were to get married, the two of you would probably have to spend a lot more time together. I should just marry her to spite you, un."

Ino glared, "you wouldn't," she said confidently.

"You clearly underestimate how much I don't like you, un."

Geez, sometimes he was just like a child.

Something else flickered in Ino's eyes for a moment before she said, "just wait until you meet her. You'll change your mind."

Ino turned back to walk away, her mother passing her as she left the room.

"Deidara, I'm so glad you're alright!" Kimiko exclaimed, embracing her stepson before he could really do anything about it.

"Get off of me, un!" Deidara all but yelled, pushing her away but to no avail.

"We were so worried about you! If we hadn't gotten that call from the police last night, I probably would've been out there searching for you myself!"

"You got a call from the cops, un?" Deidara asked, finally managing to break away from her hold, a grimace on his face as he thought of the consequences of his actions.

My cousins looked up at me confused, having not been filled in on why Deidara had been at our house in the first place or why his car was parked by a burnt out building by the pier.

"That's right! And don't worry, your father has made sure that word won't get out about what happened; he's made sure it'll all go away by itself. The police told us you'd left the scene with a redhead, I knew who they were talking abbot so I knew not to worry anymore," she smiled over at me for a moment and thanked me for taking care of her son – like, what the hell else was I supposed to do – before saying, "come in to the main room, you know it's rude to keep a lady waiting."

"Wait, but…" Deidara trailed off, obviously being as polite to his step-mother as was possible, he gestured towards me and my cousins.

Kimiko smiled at us and said, "Well I like them so they can stay," she said, turning back towards the main room, I could hear the smile in her voice as she said, "they're a lot nicer than most of your other friends."

If I hadn't seen what I saw the night before, I would've vehemently disagreed that we could be better than anybody, but Deidara's friends – or at least the ones who had caused him to call me practically crying, in the middle of the night – were scum.

We followed Deidara and Kimiko into the main room, where one of those small tables for holding coffee – what were those called again? I'd always thought of them as footrests – separated two families. Deidara's father – dammit what was his name again – Hideki sat on one side on a couch with two empty spaces, where Deidara was promptly made to sit between him and his step mother. Ino sat on the ground at their feet, leaning slightly over the small table and facing a girl her age with long pink hair and light green eyes. I assumed that was the girl Ino had been previously complaining about.

Then on the other side of the table, sat who I guessed was Deidara's potential fiancé, and her parents. They themselves looked to be nothing special; not commoners of particularly poor people like my own family, but certainly not as rich as the family they were attempting to marry into. The father had dulled pink hair and weary blue eyes, he reminded me of those people who worked in the factories, though I thought it couldn't be so, Hideki wouldn't marry his son off to people like that, would he – well actually he probably would. The woman was blonde with green eyes darker than her youngest daughter, and a mean face, she looked nothing like a rich man's wife, not in her clothes or make-up or anything about her.

They looked… _plain._

And I thought maybe, for a moment, that I had a chance.

Oh, but their daughter, their oldest one, if you'd seen the three of them out in public you'd never be able to tell they were related.

She had long flowing pink hair, tied in two high ponytails and cut short in the front so her fringe hung just above the brightest green eyes I've ever seen. She wore a short white and black dress which seemed to be all bows and ribbons and ruffles and lace. All of it, along with the smile on her face, created a short of child-like illusion which was kind of creepy, but also kind of cute in an entirely platonic way.

She introduced herself as Aiko _(A.N/ I've been told this means love-child)_

We discovered pretty quickly that she was a hugger; she barely gave me, Deidara or any of my cousins time to protest before she embraces us one by one. I couldn't help but notice how soft she was and that weird lingering smell of roses. I _did_ however, notice the look on Kankuro's face and the way he was practically drooling.

Temari hit him lightly on the back of his head and said, "Behave."

Temari and Deidara reacted to Aiko's friendliness the way any polite member of society would, and hugged her back, exchanging cheerfully light banter, while Gaara and I both stood stone still, eventually managing to get one arm around her awkwardly – though I was very proud of Gaara for not hurting her.

We then sat down to talk for a while; her parents were curious about me and my family. They didn't seem to like me because all the questions they asked seemed rather… condescending and _rude_ though I knew that from their perspective, it might seem like I was trying to take away their opportunity to marry into a rich family… wait, that was exactly what I was doing.

After they were finished questioning me, they went on to question Deidara, and I was surprised to see him actually acting like a nice guy for once, though he cut his act when his father left the room to inform their chef that me and my cousins would be staying – it seemed he liked me as well, or at least he liked how I helped to improve his sons grades. Deidara was nothing but a rude prick while his father was gone, probably to get at Aiko's parents and make them change their mind.

About half an hour into the conversation, we _children_ were dismissed so that the adults could discuss things in private. Deidara and Ino shared a look, which turned out to mean that she would stick around outside the room and listen to what was said, since they were both working towards the same end anyway. Sakura – that turned out to be the name of Aiko's little sister – stayed back to spend time with a by now, furious Ino, so it was just the five of us.

Aiko and Deidara walked ahead of us and I dragged my cousins along, since it was understood that whenever we got wherever it was we were going, they would begin whatever deranged plan Deidara had come up with. I was on board by now, just watching the way Aiko was all over him, innocent little girl act out the window by now.

I did _not_ like that girl.

But I was a guest in this house which meant I had to behave myself.

_They_ were just children though, so it didn't matter what they did.

"So Deidara, what school did you say you went to?" Aiko asked as she led him up the stairs, her voice was too sweet for my liking.

Deidara scratched the back of his head, actively trying to get away from the firm grip she had on his arm, he said, "Un, I don't know the name of it but I go to a public school now, with Sasori Danna and a bunch of other poor people, un," he said, "well except for these two other rich guys, _way_ richer than my family un and they've both got tons of potential, too."

Wow, he must've been getting desperate if he was actually complimenting the Uchiha's.

Aiko just hugged him tighter and said, "Aw, I bet you have way more potential than they do!" she exclaimed, almost shrilly.

Deidara looked back at me for help but I shrugged, pretending as if I didn't care and mouthed, _your problem, not mine!_

She then started to ask other questions, things I already knew the answers to. Was he good at anything? _On the surface, no._ what kind of things did he like? _Arcade games, poor people things, Jack The Ripper and horror movies._ What did he plan to do with his life? _Spend it around his father and try to get his love or at least moderate admiration._

But the answers he gave her were far different form the ones I knew were true.

Once we got upstairs and began walking to one of the rooms – in the opposite direction of Deidara's room, I noticed – Deidara made a vague gesture to my cousins to signal the start of his plan.

I have to hand it to them, those kids put on quite a show for us; it was almost like the real experience of having kids – or at least _my_ experience anyway. They crowded around Aiko, demanding various things of her, as children tend to do to their mothers – or you know, their cousins secret possible boyfriends potential fiancé, whatever it's pretty much the same thing anyway.

Deidara and I sat and watched as they made her play games with them, asked a lot of those questions that I really hated answering, Kankuro told her about his telekinesis and other mind powers, Gaara told her about his bad dreams and about the ghost in the corner of his room – yeah, that was a thing – and they let out their inner monsters. You know how children can sometimes call on a sickening amount of energy? Well my cousins could be seen using this energy running around the house at full speed, making a game out of getting Aiko to chase them, while I politely insisted she watch them carefully so they wouldn't hurt themselves.

"You think she's breaking, un?" Deidara asked. We were sitting by the window, overlooking his ridiculously large backyard.

_She better be_.

"Don't care," I said.

Deidara laughed, leaning on me a little, he said, "Danna's so _cute_ when he _lies,_ un!"

I kept a straight face and said, "Whatever brat," then more quietly I said, "_You better not marry that tramp."_

In all honesty, had we met under different circumstances, I probably wouldn't hate Aiko so much. Hell, if I hadn't gotten so close with Deidara, I'd have no problem with her, but it was like there was tiny little monster in the pit of my stomach making me angry at her, making me jealous of her and all manner of other stupid things.

Again he laughed and said, "If it were up to me un, I wouldn't. But there's no guarantee that your cousins are bad enough to scare her away."

"Are you kidding? If they're not enough, that girl is obviously a psycho!"

Speak of the devil – and she'll probably appear – Aiko came back into the room, holding Kankuro's hand in one of her own and Gaara's in the other. Temari followed them into the room, having only played along in order to keep track of her brothers.

It seemed that no amount of groping – courtesy of Kankuro – demented or creepy little questions – Gaara of course – or teenage angst – which had come from a convincing Temari – had any effect on that infallible smile of hers.

"These three are so _cute!_" she said, and then to my own – and probably to Deidara's own – horror, she said, "I can't wait to get married and have a bunch of cute kids with you!"

Deidara gave a generic non-committed, falsely cheerful reply until Aiko turned her attention back to the kids. He scowled and said, "damnit un, I thought that would definitely work! I _hate_ kids un and I definitely don't want any!" he hissed quietly.

"Maybe she really likes kids," I suggested, pretending not to be interested at all in this bizarre little scene, "or maybe she really likes _you."_

"No," Deidara said "rich people don't work that way, un. And besides, she and I only met an hour ago."

He was forgetting – or perhaps he didn't know – that it hadn't taken me that long to find myself feeling weird feelings towards him. And _she_ had prior knowledge of him, she knew him very well already, things I probably didn't know, but I was certain I at least knew more.

"There's gotta be some ulterior motive, un."

It was about twenty minutes after the four of them left the room again – my sugared up cousins insisting that Aiko play hide and seek with them – that Aiko entered the room by herself, looking horrified with herself and ashamed.

"What's wrong, un?" Deidara asked, an innocent smile on his face, acting as if he didn't notice or even care about her expression.

"Sasori… I'm sorry but I think I lost your cousins."

Naturally I freaked out. Who wouldn't?

I don't really remember how, but Deidara and I ended up downstairs where we were confronted by Ino.

"Dude we have a problem," she said, for once not insulting her brother.

"Yeah un, well we have one of our own," Deidara said.

Ino sighed and said, "Let me go first 'cause yours will probably be bad. But I was listening in like you told me to, and they were picking a _date!_ It's freaking settled unless you do something _right now!_"

"We were working on it un," Deidara said, "but she lost Danna's cousins, so we're focusing on that right now."

It was decided in somewhat of a blur that he and Ino would take different parts of the first floor before making their way up, and I would just wander around, since I really didn't know the building very well.

Deep down, I knew my cousins would be fine, but I was still worried.

They were all I had… _no_ _I was all they had._

Yeah, that sounded better.

Really, this reminded me of when we used to play hide and seek when we were younger and living in their father's house.. I would usually find the oldest two in easy, obvious places like in the closets, under beds… standing out in the open… but Gaara was always different, he could always stay hidden for hours.

I was shocked by the slightly nostalgic feel to this weird situation as I climbed the stairs and thankfully found the first of my cousins.

"Where's Aiko? She was supposed to be finding us?" Temari asked when I met up with her in the hall. "She can't be that blind, I wasn't even trying."

It took me all of two seconds to make a guess, "you we hiding behind curtains, weren't you?"

She shrugged, "I'm too old for games like this anyway."

"well according to Aiko, she lost the three of you, now we're helping her play," I said, though I was beginning to think it had been a clever ploy to get rid of the children who were interrupting every opportunity to get close to Deidara.

Temari didn't quite get it though, and looked as worried as I had felt when I first heard the news. "oh my god this is all my fault! I tried to tell them to stay together in case Gaara got lost, but he just ran off and now we can't find him! What if he gets hurt? This is a big house, accidents happen!"

"Hey it'll be alright, we're all looking for them," I assured her, though I knew she had a point, "we'll find them and things will be fine."

She smiled at me, apparently finding comfort in my words, she said, "yeah, this day was pretty much a bust, huh?"

"Nah, I'm sure we can salvage it once we find your little brother," I said.

"I heard you talking downstairs… we didn't really do our job, did we?" she sighed, before smiling a familiar cheeky smile, "it's a shame 'cause I know how much you really like him… but he'll have to marry that girl and you'll die alone."

I frowned at what she had said. I wasn't going to die alone. And if I did, I was taking Aiko with me.

"That's all lies," I lied, even though she was old enough to know that sometimes, I did lie. "And besides, it's not your job to smooth out kinks in what may or may not be my love life."

She smiled warmly at me and said, "As your only female relative, it is _absolutely_ my job to meddle in your _definite love life_ at all possible times. Same goes for my little brothers, but I'm sure you'll find yourself meddling in all of ours from time to time as well."

"If all goes well, you'll never have a love life. You should just make everything easier to everyone and commit to celibacy right now; it's so much trouble to keep you away from all potential male contact."

"Good luck keeping it up, but once you go off to college –"

"We talked about this on the bus," I said, cutting her off.

"Yeah and you said _put a pin in it_, which isn't a definite no," she pointed out.

"Look, don't want to talk about it right now."

"Well too bad because we're going to!"

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine no matter what happens, I'm just worried about you kids."

"I'll be fine too –"

"I know."

She paused, grabbing my shoulder to make me stop walking.

"How?" she asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"I've already gotten your tuition."

She looked shocked for a moment before saying, "well what are you waiting for? Quit this awful job already! I mean, not that I have a problem with Deidara or anything, but I really hate these _rich people_! We can use my tuition to get by until you find something else!"

I shook my head, knowing what I said next would only make things worse, especially with how she'd been as of late.

"I was going to quit earlier this week when we came here, but he wouldn't let me. He said if I helped Deidara become the smartest kid in his year, he'd pay for your tuition… I'm sorry but what else was u supposed to do?"

She looked at me as if she couldn't believe I'd done it… as if she didn't want to believe to but those were the facts and the facts were non-disputable.

I knew she and her brothers had lots of issues, which weren't aided in the slightest by my presence in their lives. Yet I was the only constant form of support they had left, and because of the fear weighing down deep in their hearts, they never let themselves get too close, they never let themselves depend on me, _need_ me too much, for fear that I would leave them as well.

They were always trying to pull away from the hold I had on their lives.

Especially Temari.

She hit me. One of those angry girl hits that hurt a lot more than they looked like. She hit me again. And again.

"What the hell is wrong with you!" she yelled.

"Hey, I was just looking out for you!" I yelled back.

"Yell well I don't need your help or protection, none of us do! We'd be fine by ourselves! So stop trying to play our father! Stop trying to control our lives! Look after yourself, because in this world that's all anyone can ever do!" she practically screamed.

I didn't know why she was getting so upset.

I'd only done what I thought was in her best interests.

I'd only tried to give her and her brothers a perfect life.

Her words had stung deep though, and I found myself speechless.

"Stop fighting! This game isn't fun anymore!"

Kankuro came out of a towel closet just to yell at us.

I was about to express how glad I was to see him, when Temari grabbed his hand and said, "come-on, we're going to look for your brother, then we're going home," to me she said, "you can do whatever the hell you want since you're used to doing that anyway!"

She stormed off in the opposite direction.

Did all of my cousins feel that way?

Suddenly I felt as though I wasn't good enough for them, or like they didn't want me around.

I wondered if she knew how much her words hurt. But then, she probably did.

She was just a teenager though, and I had to remember that even when she lived with her father, Temari had gotten used to being alone with the boys. She had never liked having me to take care of her.

I was going to go ahead and look for Gaara by myself, but I was called back by Deidara's father. I knew I was in trouble for some unknown reason.

When we entered that room we'd spoken in the last time, he gave me this sort of look and a suffocating silence filled the room for what found like the longest of times. I just hoped they wouldn't leave without me.

"Sir… are you going to say anything?" I asked sort of awkwardly.

He held up a finger to tell me to wait, perhaps while he collected his thoughts.

"Look kid, I don't know what kind of crap your trying to pull with my son, but I don't like it," he all but growled, shedding his rich guy act and showing his true colours, which was a safe thing to do around me since I was poor. "he's already scared off seventeen other girls, and this one is _crazy_ about him – _maybe she's just crazy, I don't know_ – and I'm not going to have you coming up in here and ruining it. I've worked too long and hard in my life to have it all ruined by a kid like _you."_

I couldn't stop myself from saying, "if not by me, then by whom, sir?"

I saw his eye twitch in irritation.

"Listen kid, you and I made a deal which means you have to do what I say. And if I tell you to keep away from my son, then you damn do it. I don't want you near my kid outside of school and teaching him how to be a functioning member of society."

"Okay then sir," I said, knowing I was in far too deep to possibly keep that promise.

"Right, and the second I see you doing _anything_ to affect my son's chances with that Haruno girl, I will _destroy_ you _and_ whatever is left of your pathetic family. If you think making a bunch of sad little orphans lives a living hell, you clearly have no idea what it takes to be successful. Think it over, kid. Now get out of here."

I left as quickly as I could and ended up in a bathroom, everything filling my mind at once, I locked the door I'd come through and, finding no lock on the other door which probably led to a bedroom, I leaned against it. I didn't hear it right away, the thump of another body hitting the other side of the door, but once I sunk down so I was sitting on the tiled floor with my eyes closed, I thought I heard a voice whisper along with me, _"I hate my life."_

Deidara didn't know how looking for Sasori's cousins had ended with him locked in his sister's bedroom with Aiko.

The room was entirely too purple.

"Did you find them, un?" he had asked, when Aiko first entered the room, but when she locked the door he knew searching wasn't her intention.

"I don't care where those brats ran off to," she said. Deidara was marvelling at how wrong his first impression of her had been and how greatly he had estimated the outcome. "They were just getting in the way."

As she got closer, Deidara felt his feet backing him away from her, backing him up against a door which either led to a bathroom or a closet.

"In the way of what, un?" he asked, as if he didn't know her intentions. He felt fear creeping back inside of him as he remembered what had happened the night before. This wasn't the same though; there was only one of Aiko, and he could easily over power her.

"I don't care what kind of ridiculous hang-ups you have about arranged marriages, _this is happening_ whether you like it or not," she whispered carefully in his ear, hands resting on his shoulders, a malicious smile on her face, "because I don't want to live an ordinary life and your father doesn't want to live with _you, _so it works out pretty well for both of us, doesn't it?"

"Maybe to you un, but I don't want to live a life that's been written for me," Deidara replied, not quite sure of himself or the things he said.

He'd _told_ Sasori that this girl was crazy!

"Oh please," Aiko said harshly, "this is the _only_ way you're _ever_ going to earn your father's respect," she backed away, replacing the innocent smile on her face, she said right before she left, "think it over, kid."

When she was gone, he slumped against the door and sank until he was sitting on the ground completely with his eyes closed.

For a moment, he thought he almost heard someone joining him in saying, _"I hate my life."_

* * *

**Body-Switching takes place immediately next chapter. THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT LOVELY REVEIWERS!**


	14. Chapter 14

**Lame Chapter coming through. sometimes i really hate my own work.**

**i was planning to spend the weekend ignoring my responsibilities as a writer and read the ****_"i kissed a boy series"_**** on Wattpad (SERIOUSLY READ THAT SHIT IT'S FREAKING BEST) but then i got inspired and it turned into a mess.**

**you'll notice i've left the door open for how they actually got switched. im not too sure how i'll close it yet.**

**the next chapter will be Deidara's interactions with Sasori's friends, which i'm really excited to write!**

* * *

When I opened my eyes – god, what a cliché way to start a thought – I knew right away that something was wrong. I'd been in Ino's room just a moment ago and now I was in her bathroom… had I gone in there without realising? Had I blacked out and lost a huge, significant chuck of my memory?

These were the first thoughts that immediately came to mind.

Looking down I saw my skin was suddenly a lot lighter than before, but I could've credited that to the lighting if I hadn't been wearing entirely different clothes.

Must've been one hell of a party if I didn't even remember how I'd gotten here.

There was no clump of blonde hair obstructing the vision of my left eye, either.

I came to the quick conclusion that Aiko had drugged me, changed my clothes, pinned back – or god forbid, cut off – my hair and put me in this room just to screw with my mind.

That was before the door I was leaning on opened up, causing me to fall ungracefully forward. I looked back just to see myself enter the room…

Wait, what?

"Get up," I hissed at me, the words sounded oddly harsh as they fell out of my – his – mine – _someone who definitely looked a lot like me's_ – mouth.

I did as I was told, standing with the help of the counter, only to come face to face with a reflection that wasn't mine.

Oh, it was starting to make sense now…

I raised my hand. The redheaded reflection in the mirror raised its hand.

_Cool_.

"Un this is so cool!" I exclaimed, the words not sounding quite right in his voice. "I'm in Danna's body!" hearing it out loud, that sounded kind of wrong, but I pretended not to notice, "That must mean that _Danna_ is in _my_ body, un!"

My body rolled it's eyes and said, "wow brat, you catch up quick," he said sarcastically.

I had the urge to make a face but I felt it wouldn't look the same in this body. So I did nothing.

I had no issue at all with being in this body, but he didn't look too happy at the switch.

"What the hell did you do to me?!" he yelled, cringing when his – my, whatever – voice echoed in the small room. It was a mutual understanding that now, we'd be as quiet as possible.

"Un, I have no idea! I didn't do anything, un!"

"Stop saying _un!"_ he hissed, "_I_ don't have a speech impediment!"

"Yeah un, well _I_ do, so you'll have to start faking it until we figure out what the hell is going on. And I'll try to control it," I said.

I think I was doing a great job with accepting this. Sasori on the other hang had opted to bang his head repeatedly against the door.

"Oh god, tell me I'm dreaming! Tell me this I some kind of screwed up nightmare and I'll wake up on the first day of school and none of this will have been real! _I don't have time to play rich kid!"_

"Hey watch it!" I hissed, stopping him from further damaging my body. "It'll be alright, Danna! We'll figure this out."

He stopped for a moment and said, "oh _fuck_ what am I going to do about my cousins?!"

I hadn't thought about that.

"it will be okay un… ah, sorry. We'll step outside and find them and work something out form there."

He nodded, looking sick at the thought, "right… yeah on the off chance that this isn't a _really_ vivid nightmare, it'll be good to have a plan… un. And I'm sure you'll do just… _fine_ with my cousins if we can't figure out a way to switch back… un."

In light of the situation, I found it rather amusing that he was having such difficultly replicating my speech impediment. To be honest, it wasn't something I'd been born with, bt I picked it up from my mother since she was the only person who spoke to me until I was five and old enough for school.

I thought of dropping it when I came here, but I quickly found out that the only thing I could do to get noticed, was to be as annoying as possible.

It wasn't exactly a tough feat.

And now I couldn't get over how cool this was.

I'd read stories before where this had happened. Yeah I read, big surprise right? Most people just assume I'm an idiot because I don't get perfect grades, but those things shouldn't reflect your intelligence.

_Anyway_, before I begin to ramble – I tend to do that sometimes, I got off track so much that mum had me tested for ADHD – we left the bathroom, one at the time, looking both ways suspiciously. I think I did an awesome impression of Sasori, and he did an alright impression of me.

Whatever, not like it's a contest – though if it were, I would've won.

And out of nowhere one of his cousins ran into me and started hugging me tightly and said, "I don't like this house! It's haunted, I saw a ghost, I want to go home and Temari's being a bitch!"

Gaara.

That was the little one's name, right? I remembered the older two, of course I did, but I hadn't had much interaction with the youngest.

I saw conflict in my own body's eyes. Right, this kid was hugging me cause he was scared and thought I was Sasori, therefore he thought I cared and would protect him from…

Holy shit, did he just say _ghost?_

"Gaara, don't swear!" Temari said harshly, coming into view and dragging Kankuro along with her. She looked furious… at _me_. Oh shit, _Danna what the hell did you do?_ "And you _did not_ see a ghost! It was probably just the light or something. You're just over tired. Now come on, the three of us," she pointed out herself and her two brothers, pointedly avoiding me, "are going _home."_

"I don't want to go home with you!" Gaara yelled.

As far as I could tell, this was totally out of character.

But Temari being mad at me – or Sasori, whatever – also seemed kind of strange.

Temari scowled and said, "_Fine_ stay here then, see if I care!"

I felt so awkward in this situation which I shouldn't have been in anyway, that I didn't do anything and I just watched as she dragged Kankuro out of the room, thanking _Deidara_ – me, but not me at all, geez this situation was weird – for having her over, before storming out completely.

Then I sort of realised that I was supposed to be posing as Gaara's legal but not technically legal guardian. What was he, ten? When I was ten I was hardly scared of anything – probably because I'd had no older siblings or cousins to protect me from things – so it was new to me, the whole _comforting _thing,but I gave it a try anyway.

"Hey kid, there's nothing to be scared of," I said, almost choking on the _un_ that threatened to come out. "I don't know what you think you saw, but even if it _was_ a ghost, you know only the friendly ones hang around rich people, right?"

He looked up at me, as though I were someone else completely – oh if only he knew – and said, "But doesn't that mean that all the bad ghosts hang around poor people, like us?"

Dammit I hadn't thought about it like that.

"No way! What would they want from _us_ anyway? The bad ghosts hang out at bad people's houses and in prisons and stuff," I said, "so you know what that means don't you?"

He paused for a moment before coming up with an answer, "I have be good?" he said it like a question.

"That's right!" I said, the enthusiasm didn't seem quite right with this voice but it wasn't in me to tone it down even a single notch. I ruffled his hair a bit and said, "Smile kid!"

He tentatively did as I said before I sent him off to catch up with his sister, leaving just me and Sasori. Though it was more like me and me… but not me… and oh god this situation was annoyingly confusing! I got a headache just thinking about it!

"It's getting really late, huh?" I said, to break the ice. I suddenly felt so awkward around him, mainly because I'd never see that look in my own eyes before.

"I don't trust you with my cousins," he stated bluntly, "but we don't have any choice right now. Until we can figure out what screwed up thing your house did to us, I'll just have to lose sleep worrying about them."

"Right!" I said, trying my hardest not to smile, because it wouldn't look right. This body had so many limitations! "And this house didn't do _anything_ to you, it was probably that psycho fiancé of… _yours!_ Un, if we never switch back, I won't have to marry Aiko!"

It was harder for me to control my speech when I was excited or happy.

Sasori sighed, seeming heavily annoyed; he said "why the hell would Aiko do that? Besides, what the hell are you suggesting… un?" he scowled, remembering at the last moment that he was me and I had an impediment. "It's not like she's a witch, or anything like that. And there's no benefit's to it, un."

I ignored that last part. "Oh my god what if she's a witch!"

He rolled his eyes, "you're starting to sound like Gaara."

"Hey, that kid's alright! It's not a bad thing to have an imagination, is it? Besides, you never know what's out there; maybe he has a sixth sense or something."

"That's ridiculous, what he _has_ is insomnia. Dammit, what were we even talking about before… un?"

Hell, I didn't even remember that.

All I knew was that I got to go back to my past for a few nights until we figured this out.

"I'm not sure… but I better get going. I guess I'll see you at school on Monday!"

* * *

The rest of the weekend was weird.

It wasn't the same experience I had had when I was younger; I had three kids to look after this time, and I could only wonder how Danna was fairing at my house.

Whatever, I liked it here, so I didn't spend too much time trying to figure out what had happened.

I _did_ determine a few things at least.

Firstly, this wasn't a dream. Not at all. Not even a little bit.

Secondly, Gaara _was_ an insomniac and when he _did_ manage to get to sleep, he always woke up about an hour later screaming, crying, begging us to make the monsters leave him alone. I could understand why the three of them slept in the same bed – besides the fact that they were dirt poor.

Thirdly, Temari was seriously pissed off for some reason.

She still did her bit, acting as the mother of this messed up family while I slid comfortably into the role of father.

I knew by Sunday night that I _definitely did not want kids. Ever. Ever, ever, ever._

They asked annoying questions, always demanding answers, they got mad when you wouldn't let them do what they wanted, they got mad when you said they didn't have psychic powers – although I wasn't sure that Kankuro _didn't_ have mind powers – they did stupid things, got themselves hurt incredibly easy, they didn't know how to take care of themselves properly yet insisted they were old enough to do things for themselves.

But the worst thing about them was, that they made me _care_ about them.

So quickly too!

They made me want to answer their questions but preserve their innocence. I wanted to protect them from themselves, and from the monsters Gaara claimed to see and the powers Kankuro claimed to have and it hurt to know that Temari was so mad at me – or at Sasori, but it was _directed_ at me – and so during preparation of dinner Sunday night, I confronted her about it.

I'd always liked cooking for myself or for my mother when we lived alone, but with Temari helping me, those big knives suddenly made me nervous.

There was a reason I didn't like women.

"Temari it's been twenty-four hours already, can't you just tell me what's bothering you?" I tried, feeling that it was the safest approach to take.

She glared at me and said, "Don't act like you don't already know."

Damn, so there had been a conflict or something. And if I were really Sasori, I'd have those memories right now.

But I wasn't and so I didn't.

"I really _don't,_" I said earnestly, "but I'd like for you to tell me, so we can try to work through this."

There was a loud resounding crack as she slammed the knife she was using into the board she was cutting on. I wouldn't admit it out loud but I was now and officially terrified. I would never know how Sasori managed to deal with this.

"The _only way_ we are going to work this out, is if _you_ go back to Deidara's stupid father and quit that awful job and give up the tuition money," she said slowly through gritted teeth.

It was starting to make sense now.

"That's what you're mad about?" I asked, genuinely surprised. I thought it was sweet that Sasori had sacrificed himself in a way, for his cousins. "I just want you to have the best life possible."

It was true.

Danna had a good heart and if he didn't have a big mouth, his cousins at least needed to know about how much he really loved them all.

"It's not your job to do that," she replied stiffly.

"But I want to, so don't worry about it okay?"

There was silence for a moment, broken only by the dislodging of a knife from a board, the cutting up of vegetables and the slowly bubbling pot of boiling water.

Then something I didn't expect happened.

"What if you leave?"

The way she looked at me, I knew she wasn't joking. It was an actual concern of hers.

"Aw Temari, where am I gonna go?" I asked her, "I ain't going to college so I'm pretty much stuck in this hole for the rest of my life."

She looked down at the ground and said, "If you didn't have to worry about the three of us, you'd probably have a much better life."

"Well yeah, but I wouldn't be happy," I told her. I got this warm feeling in my chest when she dropped everything and hugged me, muttering about how she was sorry and she loved me – Sasori – and was grateful for all the time spent looking after her family.

I thought for a moment, about Ino.

She wasn't a direct part of my family, but _they_ were a direct part of Sasori's family.

I though back to three weeks ago in the nurse's office after Danna had punched me. He had said;

_"Are you telling me there's nobody in this world that you love, or even care about?"_

And at the time, I didn't know what to say. The only person I thought I loved had died six years ago and since then I had only felt _anything at all_ towards my father but it was usually contempt and desperation.

But now I knew, if he were to ask me again, I'd have a much different answer.

* * *

**I just thought i'd let everyone know that i'm NOT leaving the Naruto fandom. i've gotten way too many new ideas plus, i JUST REMEMBERED thanks to a lovely anonymous reveiwer, that i have an unfinished dragon story to work on after this.**


	15. Chapter 15

Monday. I was dreading Monday because it meant I had to get up and go to school. And it meant that my day started at six in the damn morning with annoying questions like;

_"what's for breakfast?" _As if I freaking knew.

_"wh the hell didn't you wake me_ up?" because it isn't my damn job.

_"can't we just skip school today and go to the arcarcade instead?" _beleive me, if we could then we would.

And I was far too tired to deal with any of it so I simply gave various non-commited noises to make it seem as though I was remotely interested.

We were out of the house a few minutes before seven and I almost drifted off on the train I was so tired. Hell if I hadn't been with Sasori's Cousins I probably would've fallen asleep completely.

Those damn trains ran all freaking night but it was comfortingly familiar, considering I used to live above a bowling alley.

Gaara and Kankuro Got off at a stop across from the hospital and I told them to have a good day and for Gaara to watch over his brother. I watched them retreat until the train took us out of sight and I couldn't help this lingering feeling that something bad was going to happen. But i guess that was just part of being a temporary parent.

Temari Dragged me off across from the uni-tech.

I know everyone thought of the uni-tech as a place for losers, but they gave good qualifications and stuff. They're just not recognised as a proper college.

I thought maybe one day, after I'd annoyed my father t the point where he realised there was no getting rid of me, that I'd probably end up going to the uni-tech.

She pulled me through the park which was a shortcut leading up to the school - I had learnt that pretty quickly after being around this part of town, that everything was a shortcut if you were running late enough.

"What's up with you lately?" She asked, pausing on the school steps. It was early and there was no one else around just yet. "You've been acting weird ever since Saturday. Did something happen between you and Deidara?"

Oh honey you have no idea.

"Yeah' I guess you could say that..."

I swear to god, as soon as the words left my mouth - or not my mouth, what-freaking-ever - she squealed and hugged me so tight I almost couldn't breathe.

"Ah I can't believe it! Your actually trusting me wit your love-life!" She exclaimed excitedly. " knew you would come around! Tell me everything about you and Deidara!"

I was already beginning to regret it.

And I was confused.

Was it that obvious ha I liked Sasori? And was it that obvious hat he liked me as well - because he did, of course he did.

"Oops, speak of the devil," Temari whispered ncer the sound of a slamming car door. "We'll talk about it later."

About five seconds after she had rushed into the school building, Sasori was beside me and we were walking towards the school, so as not to seem even the slightest bit suspcious.

' how are they?" I heard m own voice ask in a way that sounded much too concerned to be healthy.

'They've been fine," I said, " great actually. No major problems at all." Nothing like I had seen the first time I ventured into his house.

'You got Temari to smile again," he said quietly. I couldn't tell all what he was thinking or feeling but I had a small idea. "What about Gaara? He has trouble sleeping because of his nightmares and stuff but if he stays awake too long they'll have to put him back on medication... and Kankuro is really accident prone! He once broke his arm trying to put a plaster on."

Wow... really?

"Relax Danna! It's gonna be fine," I assured him with a smiled which I was sure looked plain wrong on this face.

"Don't call me that," he grumbled, "especially not when we're like this, un."

Right, because it would be bad for people to see his body calling an underclassmen 'Danna'.

'Sorry, it's a force of habit by now," but it was clearly something I would have to learn to control. "So what was it like spending time alone with my family?"

He rolled his eyes and I couldn't help my own immediate smile.

"They're free king smothering me! I can't take it, your step mother and your sister are ALWAYS asking questions, they're so nosy! And they keep trying to tell me what I should do with my life, or what you should did wit yours, whatever. I Didn't know that being rich meant that you had to deal wit people writing out your own story for you."

I laughed, " yeah they can be like that sometimes," or literally every second of every day on this god forsaken earth.

We were inside the building by now, I was walking backwards to maintain eye contact with myself, which was a strangely interesting thing to do. And for a moment it looked like Sasori would say something but his eyes must've caught something that would be a problem for us.

"Don't look back," he said, "and be nice."

Be nice to who..?

Oh hell no!

I hadn't factored in his friends to this equation - probably one of the reasons I didn't do so well in math.

I knew them all by face and name, thanks to Temari and those bastard Uchiha. He had seven friends in total, all of them in varying levels of family dyfunctionality, but besides that, I only knew them by reputation.

Hidan and Kakuzu, two of his friends, were the guys who started petty fights in the middle of the hallways and scaring the crap out of all the cute little freshies.

Pein and Konan Were the two weird seniors who surrounded themselves with underclassmen and hardly ever spoke to people their own age.

There were tons of rumors going around about Kisame; I'd heard that he was at school on court order and had spent the previous few years n prison as somebody's bitch, but when I met him on the first day of school, he seemed nice enough.

Then there was Tobi and Itachi Uchiha, who were both pretty much self-explanatory. Not to mention that they were heading right towards us.

"No, I won't!" I hissed, angry that he would make me try and be polite to my Mortal enemies.

"Your me, and so you have to be nice," he insisted.

But that wasn't fair, dammit!

I did nothing to deserve this and -

Wait, if I had to be nice then that meant,

"You have to be mean," I said, a wide smile on my face as I thout about it; Danna acting as my puppet to battle my mortal enemies. Awesome! I told him quietly what he was to say and threatened him with something embarrassing - probably public nudity, I bet the whole school would love that - should he chose to ignore me.

But I knew he wouldn't. He was a good boy.

"Hey, they finally let you back in with the mainstream kids, huh... un?" He said, not too sure of his words - because he didn't know what I knew - I would have to explain things to him a little later, about his 'perfect' little friends, "I thought they had a special little room on the other side of the field... in, for kids like the two of you."

Tobi scowled. Sometimes he confused me.

They were close enough that I was able to hear Tobi whsiper something, but not what he actually said.

"No Tobi,new didn't Come here to start a fight," Itachi drawled, "as satisfying as it might be, wed be better not to cause conflict with children."

Hell no! Somebody better hold me back because I'm not in my own body and its fucking on! I'll show him what amid can do! He'll be damn sorry!

This time though, when Sasori spoke, he seemed more sure of himself. It was either because now he was defending himself - and subsequently me - or because he just realised what jerks these guys are.

"If I don't mind, why the hell should you, un?" He asked sassily. I didn't know Sasori even had a drop of sass in his body - though technicalLay now it was mine - and I almost laughed. He didn't give them a chance to respond. "Whatever in, I've got places to be, people to see, alive to live. You understand ri... ah well you probably dont , un," he continued rudely.

He probably Realised that just a few mean words to his friends was - for a limited time only - equal to a day of me being polite to them.

"So anyway un, I'll see you after school," his smile was pretty convincing, as was the distasteful look he gave the other two. Really, he might as well have flipped his hair when he walked off.

He did a better impression on me then I'd anticipated.

I was torn between begging him not to leave me here, and yelling out to tell him he was my hero. But the he dissappered, leaving me alone.

With them.

* * *

I had had advanced calculus First which was torture. Sure I was good enough at it in my own level but that didn't in any way mean that I was ready to move up! Hell I was only even getting by - not that I would ever say it out loud because out loud, it wasn't true - because of Sasori!

World history was alright though; I managed to catch up on an hour of my keep.

I heard people whispering about me behind my back, and my sudden change of behavior. Apparently a lot of people knew about the person I was pretending to be, by reputation of him being a perfect student, and now he was suddenly slipping. Ah well, I knew he'd be able to catch up once we switched back.

I knew that what the general public knew about Sasori didn't even scratch the surface. But I was about to.

I was stopped in the hall by a pretty little bluenette, Konan. She was wearing the schools standard baby-blue P.E gear and waved enthusiastically as she called out to me - well technically to Sasori but I was the only one around to hear it.

'Hey Konan," I said as dully as I could.

She smiled at me and said, "how was your weekend? You just disappeared after the game and completely fell off the grid!" She said all this while gesturing wildly and scaring the freshies who weren't aware that a senior could be so enthusiastic, "oh no, did your power get cut off again? Oh your not in trouble with the debts collectors again are you?"

Whoa, I didn't know Danna did any of that stuff! Getting utilities cut off and dealing with those collector bastards... he really was poor, huh?

"No we're fine," I assured her, "actually I spent most of my time over on the other side of town."

Her eyes lit up and her smile grew wide. When said, "ooh, where Itachi andTobi live?" She asked, "but wait, they didn't say anything about having spent time with you over then weekend so... SasorI, you better not have been spending time with that Iwa kid! You know Tobi said he's bad news."

'Yeah, well what does Tobi know?" I all but growled. I didn't mean to' I really didnt, but I just hate the idea of Tobi trying to keep Danna and I apart.

Konan giggled, as though she'd been expecting me to say that. She said, "well it's your funeral when Tobi fins out, you know how he feels about Deidara and yet you choose to spend time with him anyway!" Konan giggled and said, "this is either really sweet or really stupid. But really you must b some sort of a masochist! You're addicted to disapproval!"

And if Daana wasn't than I certainly was.

I was planning to say something else, vaguely insulting Tobi, while claiming not to be afraid of him, and discrediting what he had aid, by we were interrupted by another of Sasori's friends.

Kisame.

"Hey Kisame, over Jere!" Once again, Konan could be seen waving and yelling across the hall.

kisame made his way over to us, the expression on his face saying that he had just found his very own Jesus. 'Oh thank gos I fund the two of you," he said, "Konan, you're a girl, right?"

Konan frowned - surprisingly - and said, "well yeah, last time I checked..."

"Good and that means you now all about romantic stuff, right?" He asked, to which Konan nodded, slowly, unsurely, And Sasori, you know about rich people, right?"

Konan clapped her hands together before I could answer, and said, "oh my gosh, dont tell me younfot his father to go with it!"

"Well not exactly, Itachi's father is a little strict when it coms s to things like this," Kisame admitted dejectedly, before perking up and saying, "but his mother is great! She just wants him to be happy so she's setting the whole thing up. All I have to do is get him to say yes."

No dealing way.

Itachi Uchiha? Good boy Itaxhi Uchiha?

The guy had a crush on Itachi Uchiha?

Oh god that's perfect!

Imagine this, no seriously picture this n your mind for me! Imagine Itaxhi bringing him - or any other guy - home. It would be wonderfully.

Suddenly Mr perfect isn't so fucking perfect anymore!

Suddenly my father doesn't wish I'd be more like Itachi any more, suddenly hes happy with me, proud of me for staying realitively in the closet - hence the bombardment of women.

Konan spent the walk toward the quad giving mall prices of advice, which, if Itachi was anything like me, would work like a charm. But I was fairly certain that Itachi and I had nothing in common. Konan went over the basics and told him not to worry since from what she had heard, Itachi would say yes, n matter how he question was worded. Apparently he was just as interested as Kisame.

I was called for advics on the status difference since Kisame was what my father would openly refer to as a commoner and clearly he wasn't the best choice in suiotr, both because of status and gender, but I told him what the hell, just go for it.

When we got outside, I was able to witteness first hand one of Hidan and Kakuzu's infamous freshie scaring arguments.

"Your mother is a no good drunken slob!" The taller, Kakuzu could be hears yelling.

"Yeah well at least I have a mother who wants to see me sometimes." Hidan was a bit smaller than his adversary, but his voice was twice s loud and his anger was almost palpable.

"She doesn't want to see you, she just wants a reason to go n the dole!"

"Excuse me? My mother fucking works for am living, unlike your useless sack of shit of a mother!"

"We don't know that she doesn't work! ...or if she's even alive."

"Of course she's alive! She's out there enjoying her life without you! In fact I think all our lives would be so much better if you just fucking left!"

Apparently, Hidan had crossed some sort of line, because suddenly they were fightihg for real, at each others throats. The reactions of their fire D's were a mix of varied levels of boredom, mad glee and fury, while everyOne else seemed pretty eager to see what was going to happen - including me.

However, Konan broke it up before too much damage could be done - though they'd both gotten in some pretty good shots - with a well places kick to Hidan's stomach and a seemingly gentle shove which sent Kakuzu to the group s.

"Boys, what have I told you about cilence?" Konan asked, almost disdainfully.

"Every time we use it against each other it's like stabbing you through the heart," they said at once, as though they'd said it a hundred times.

"Not that you'd be abele to feel it," Hidan added under his breathe, "dead inside like you are."

"Sorry, what was that?" Konan asked in the sweetest voice I had never wanted to imagine.

"Nothing," Hidan grumbled.

"Good!" Konan exclaimed, "now fucking apologise!"

Well then...

**i hate to do this but its getting late so I'm cutting this chapter off here. But I'll definitely continue immediately tomorrow...**


	16. Chapter 16

**Okay so obviously I screwed up. Well here's the thing; I am technically grounded which includes everything except my phone which I bought myself. So this is coming to you direct from my three inch screen, you'll have to forgive me for the moment with spelling errors and stuff I's that aren't always capital, but i'm sure we can all handle it. Usually I would at least try to fix them but my phone has this nasty habit of deleting all my work as soon as the Wi-Fi cuts off. You have no idea how many times it took me to write yesterdays chapter, and I almost went fully insane.**

Th**at's actually also why I cut it off the way I did... you'll have to forgive me but by two in the morning I was about a hundred percent done. **

**Anyway, here's the rest of the chapter, and a little bonus for being so patient.**

* * *

"You know you get more and more psycho everyday, right?" Kakuzu asked.

"Boys, don't speak to your mother like that," Pein said dully, showcasing a whole new side of this families crazy, because apparently that was a thing.

They did as they were told without another word about and Konan sighed, pushing them both towards the table, she said, "I swear you boys never listen! it's like you get a kick out of being yelled at!"

Nothing else was said on the subject.

i sat down in the only space which was left once Konan took her space beside Pein.

as seniors, they were like the parents of this group - oh, i think i just got the whole mother thing.

small conversations seemed to start up around me and i thought i was safe for a moment, before Tobi decided to open his stupid mouth.

god i hated Tobi. I didn't even have a good reason - or a reason at all - i just hated him.

"So, you and Deidara huh?" he asked bluntly. At first I was wondering whether I'd heard him right, since I was so used to the way he usually spoke. huh, weird. I guess I should've caught on early when Konan was going on about him having forbidden me to see Deidara - or Sasori, as it currently was - but no, my stupid mind decided to chose now to suddenly realise what was happening. "apparently nobody takes my warnings seriously anymore. Do you think this is some kind of joke?"

Oh My God.

Tobi was smart!

how could i have missed this for so long? This was the ultimate blackmail! It was almost as bad - heck maybe it was even worse - as Itachi dating a guy!

Best Day Ever!

Although, come to think of it, i had always seen Tobi do things, like doing his work during class instead getting off track and amazingly distracted like he was supposed to. and he always seemed to get good grades as far as i could tell - even though his parents never bothered to acknowledge them.

I guess i had just written him off just like everyone else had.

When i got back into my own body, I was going to have some real fun with the things I'd learned.

Wait a moment, he was looking at me with a sort of expectancy, like he was waiting for something... Right, I hadn't answered him yet.

"So what if i do?" i asked, trying to keep as much of my anger out of my voice, as was possible, as it seemed that for some reason, far beyond me, everybody was scared of Tobi - or at least moderately frightened. So i knew i couldn't be Deidara right now, i had to be Sasori even if i wasn't.

It looked for a moment as though Tobi would explode out of raw, unadulterated rage, but Itachi spoke well before he could.

"As much as i hate to admit this, Tobi is right," Itachi said, acting as though that was going to change my - our - opinion. I for one, was dead set on this by now, especially because of all the negative attention it was getting me. "You don't know him as well as we do," Itachi continued. Yeah, as if he knew anything outside of his own perfect little lie of a life, "he's not the normal school kid that you think he is."

"Yeah, haven't you ever asked him why he got kicked out of private school?" Tobi continued.

Oh shit.

I had forgotten that they knew about that!

For every deep dark fact I knew about the Uchiha's and their family, they knew three about me and my own family. Of course some of those facts would be redundant since Sasori already knew a lot about my past and my screwed up excuse for a family, but others would be useful for destroying what Sasori and i had.

"Well no..." I said, carrying on the conversation while feeling completely, utterly awkward about the entire thing.

But I felt it was the way Sasori would act if he were in his own body right now and so I acted accordingly.

"Trust us, he's a dangerous guy and if you get too close, you're going to get... burned," Tobi said quietly.

Now i was seriously beginning to regret coming to school today. Or waking up in the morning. And especially not getting rid of Sasori sooner. I was internally panicking because now, i knew it was only a matter of time before we changed back and by then Sasori would start to get suspicious and ask questions which i wouldn't be able to answer without incriminating myself.

And then i would be alone again.

Had he been looking at me strangely this morning? like there was something different with me? Or as though he were seeing me for the first time, or had a different opinion of me...

no, no, no, I was relatively sure that it would be fine, so long as he stayed in his place and didn't go through my things in his boredom at home.

I would figure out the rest when the time came.

* * *

third and fourth, I had Physics, and if I thought Physics was hard in my own level, Sasori's class was on a whole other playing field. All of those formulas he had told me to memorise, were suddenly outdated in this class, so I took the opportunity to stare out the window like a home sick fool for the entirety of two hours and watch the freshies stumble their way around a game of soccer.

Then, since it was Monday, we had an extra class before lunch instead of after, which for me, just so happened to be English. His class was reading The Luminaries; that big ass book that won the Booker award last year - I had seen it in his house earlier but thought nothing of it, as if it were just part of the background and really none of my concern. I had read it around the end of last year and didn't think it was so great, but Sasori's English teacher - thankfully not the same as mine - thought it was the best thing she had ever read.

personally, I would have rather been reading something older which maybe nobody would understand but we'd all have a certain level of appreciation for anyway, unfortunately it wasn't my choice and I was forced to endure it for another hour.

during the beginning of lunch break, i was taken aside by Tobi. i knew the baseball teams had practise today - because i was supposed to be there but I wasn't - so most of Sasori's friends wouldn't be a problem, however, Tobi seemed to be a special variety of annoying; the kind that just won't leave you alone no matter who's body you're in.

"What's wrong, come to yell at me some more?" i asked, trying not to be rude while being snide at the same time. I really wished i had Sassy Sasori with me right now because I could really use a laugh right now.

He rolled his obsidian eyes and said, "yeah, 'cause i have plenty of time reserved just to protect you from your own stupidity," he said. geez, him calling somebody else stupid? i never thought there would ever be a justifiable reason for that. "It's not like i could have any other projects to work on, is it?"

Was I supposed to answer that?

The way he was looking at me made me think that I was.

"Well I don't know, " i said lamely, mainly because I wasn't used to interacting with Tobi in a way quite like this.

"Well I do have other stuff going on, come-on I'll show you," he got this childish look of glee in his eyes which was reminiscent of the Tobi i knew and was used to, before deciding to drag me off down the hall.

We ended up in one of the less crowded hallways of the school, where there were no lockers and so no reason for any students to lurk about, except for the stray lost freshie and the odd senior who was too unmotivated to find their way out into the sunlight - because as we all know, seniors hate sunlight.

We were standing outside a Chem lab - which was the subject I unfortunately had to endure next - with the door open just a crack and the blinds up over the small window so that we could see inside.

"See?" he said, showing me another of his projects, though i didn't like to think of myself as one of them.

I frowned, knowing that it would look natural on this face. I said, "what am i supposed to be seeing?"

the room was emptied of all but two students; Hidan and Kakuzu. They were both leaning over different sides of the same lab bench, appearing to be reading something. My guess would be that Hidan had failed yet another assignment in the class - he was in my usual Chem lab, even though he was the same age as Sasori - and was having it explained to him... by his apparent mortal enemy. but the thing was, that they were acting civil with each other, like friends would and not the way people who had been fighting just three hours ago, would.

i couldn't quite hear what either of them was saying, since they both spoke so quietly - fucking shock of the century, am I right - but it was obvious that there was to be no conflict or anything.

"You've heard the term ship right?" Tobi asked, watching the room for a few more glee-filled moments before regaining his serious composure.

Actually, I hadn't.

"Not unless you mean boat," i told him.

he seemed to ignore me and began to walk off in the direction we'd come, probably so he could watch Itachi and Konan play baseball - the girls team was going to kick the boys' butts anyway - and i heard him say, "it's lovely when things go according to plan."

* * *

After school i met Sasori in the library as usual and we switched homework.

"Did you take down the notes?" he asked, slipping into his usual seat and stretching out as thought it had been a long, hard day, "god damn it feels good to be speaking normally again."

i quickly quelled my laughter. But if he wasn't careful, he was going to develop an impediment like the one I had .

"No un," ah it felt fucking great to say that again! "I spent most of your classes sleeping," i answered honestly.

He sighed, but ultimately i think he'd been expecting it, since he didn't yell or anything or even get remotely mad, he just said, "well okay, just make sure you do your homework, alright?"

"Un, you're not going to help me with it?" I asked.

"No brat, I took down everything you should need for the time being," he told me.

okay, he was looking at me differently!

What was wrong with him? Or with me?

Had Tobi gotten to him? Or Itachi? Or -

"So i was going through your things at home i hope you don't mind but at the same time i know you probably couldn't resist going through my things during your stay," he said, getting a little off point near the end but i still knew what was coming. It wasn't a person who would end whatever it was that Sasori and I had, it was his damn nosy personality! "And I found this."

As I'd feared, he pulled from out of his bag, a small cobalt blue book which had been sitting on my book case on the third shelf - reserved for crime novels mostly - between my copy of Past Mortem and a stolen copy of I Am Not a Serial Killer - one of my favorite books, by the way.

The pages of this cobalt tome were worn and yellowing, most were bent at the corners, and wrinkled in the middle. there was a bit of water damage , some wear and tear and the entire thing was just a bit too thick from the out of shape paper between the covers.

I hadn't spoken with the book in a while - since some point last year, actually - but it still remained the one thing in this world that knew the most about me. my entire life was detailed within it's all knowing pages, every deep dark secret which Tobi and Itachi might have missed out, were they to tell Sasori about me, every memorable moment was in there, good or bad, that book was me.

I keep my face as straight and composed as i could and said, "Oh un... well um, you didn't read it... did you?"

He did a better job than i did, of keeping calm and composed, having gained full control over my body and it's expressions and movability. He said, "there was nothing else in your house that I hadn't already read."

Simple as that, with those simple, simple words, I Felt my world crash down around me.

* * *

**So, once again please forgive any mistakes made here, it's awfully hard to type on a three inch screen and have it come out perfect, but I'm doing the best i can with what i have.**

**also, The next chapter will be Sasori's point of view of the past few days, so we don't yet get to see what was written in Deidara's little book.**


	17. Chapter 17

**So, this chapter will be going back to after Deidara left with Sasori's cousins, up until he finds the little blue book in Deidara's room. Unfortunately I'm grounded until the month of March so we're all going to have to get used to my less than adequate typing and editing skills until then.**

**Also it's Waitangi Day tomorrow, which in my country, is the day my ancestors signed away our land to my ancestors (since i'm half-caste and all) I know none of you really care, but i like to remember exactly when it was that i posted, when i come back to read my own work.**

* * *

Saturday night for me, was spent alone in a room that wasn't mine where everything was annoyingly blue and i couldn't figure out how to cover up the skylight - though i thought maybe the whole point was to keep it open. I lost a lot of sleep that night worrying about my cousins - literally stressing out about every tiny little thing;

Would they be safe?

Would they be happy?

What if something happened? Because how would i know if something did?

What if they somehow figured it out?

What if Deidara wasn't a good guardian?

What if he lost one of them?

Yeah, my mind spent a few solid hours coming up with billions of scenarios where things could go terribly wrong. If this was what it felt like to be a parent, I knew i probably didn't want any kids, since the stress would likely kill me.

I spent the rest of my long, endless waking hours, trying to figure it all out; what had happened to us and how were we going to turn things back around?

I tried to remember what i had been doing at the time, right before it happened...

Right, I'd been bitching about how much i hated my life because of a few isolated instances leading up to me freaking out on a bathroom floor.

In retrospect, that was probably an immensely dumb thing to say, do or even think. I'd give anything to be back there right now. I had dealt with tough shit before and i should've known how to act by now but apparently i freaking didn't.

But what had he been doing? Yeah, maybe we'd been linked somehow by what he had been doing at the time, or where we'd been... when i woke up in Deidara's body i was in Ino's room, leaning against the door, in the exact counter of the position I'd closed my eyes in.

Maybe that had a little something to do with it.

I would have to look into it, rather than obsessing over it right now when i couldn't control anything.

I spent the night without sleep.

I kept listening out for the roar of a train, the screech of it's whistle, the clatter of questionable cargo, or even the distressed cries of an upset cousin, but i heard nothing and it left me with a sort of empty feeling way deep down.

The next day was no better really. I didn't like having people to do things for me, like I was too good to do them myself; i was used to cooking my own meals - and meals for the people around me - cleaning my own house and watching over everybody around me.

This was a lifestyle I would take a while to fully adjust to, it seemed.

However, I did notice that most of the maids and other workers left me mostly alone. I realised that Deidara had probably scared them all off a while ago with his common attitude.

I was only confronted once for most of the day by Ino, who simply wanted her brother to help with her homework, though her face said she wasn't too hopeful about it all and her eyes said that she had an ulterior motive.

I wanted to tell her that her brother wasn't here at the moment and even if he was, he wouldn't want to deal with her, but even if i didn't like her she was still a child and as out of character as it would be for Deidara, i knew my own heart wouldn't allow me to deny her.

A very short while later i found myself sitting with her in her room. It was entirely too purple, the way that Deidara's own room was completely blue.

I thought that since I was meant to be her brother, it was okay for me to be alone in her room with her, but since i wasn't actually her brother, it probably wasn't. I didn't know if normal people had rules like that, but I always had.

"Alright what are you having trouble with now, un?" i asked her, trying to sound annoyed and as though i had a million other things to be doing right then.

I was getting more and more used to Deidara's cold, distant disposition and basic cruelty towards everyone except his father and my family - though admittedly he still behaved that way to and around me.

I was also beginning to get used to his stupid speech impediment which i had once found cute but now i found it anything but.

"Everything," Ino admitted with a cautious whisper, as though the walls had ears, "the advanced programme which father bought me into, is really hard..." she seemed to realise after she spoke, just who she was speaking with, "but your not going to tell, are you?"

It would be a wonderful way to make her look bad, wouldn't it?

But despite this body, that's not who I am.

"No way, un," i said, then added for that special Deidara effect, "not unless you annoy me, un."

I needed to get better at this whole Deidara thing, maybe add a bit more sass. That was a word I never would've even thought in my own body, but i had to keep up pretenses for the time being.

Ino smiled at my words for a moment, sweet.

Uneasily.

Sadly.

Bitterly.

Her smile fell.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, almost so quiet that i didn't hear her, and yet her words seemed to bounce off of the pale purple walls.

I felt as though Deidara would say It's about damn time twerp, with no concern for what she was apologising for, but if I'd been acting like Deidara, i wouldn't be sitting down with his sister - she was his sister whether he lied it or not - in the first place.

"About what, un?" i asked while flipping through the books and actively avoiding eye contact in an attempt to make it seem like i wasn't paying attention at all.

"About whatever it is i did, that made you hate me."

Oh...

This really wasn't a conversation for me to be having!

He needed to be here!

But he would only screw it up!

And i was about to do just that because i didn't know the history, i had no idea what was going on!

Though if she was one of my cousins... it'd be better to try gathering information before i said anything, anyway.

"What makes you think that i hate you, un?" i asked carefully.

"The way we are, it's not like normal brothers and sisters; you treat me like I'm nothing but an unwanted pest in your life!"

"what about you, un!" i yelled back in defence of Deidara, "your always acting like a total brat!"

but there's a chance i had made it worse.

"What else am i supposed to do?" she asked, lowering her voice. right, because the walls have ears. "You never even gave me a chance! i was four years old! I don't know if you were expecting your father to be waiting here with open arms, or some other deluded fantasy, but that's not how life is! Why couldn't you just be happy with the way things were?"

For a ten year old, she seemed to have a hell of a lot of anger, and this Ino was a lot different than the one i thought i knew. All of these rich people had two faces; the one they used in front of the public eye and the one they used at home and with very close friends. I felt like i was invading some kind of deep secret privacy of hers, but i couldn't help it a single bit.

Still, i felt like i had had this conversation with Temari a million times before, just substitute Why don't you love me? with Why do you bother loving us?

No matter what, it always seemed to be the same.

I knew i would have to talk to Deidara bout this at some point.

When i didn't answer her, Ino said, "I just want you to be a normal big brother. I didn't ask for any of this, but when you came along out of nowhere I thought I'd get a taste of what it's like to be a normal girl. Can't we pretend, just for a moment?"

Her big blue eyes looked pleadingly at me, not nearly as convincing as Deidara, but still sad enough for me to rationalise it anyway.

I was already pretending to be Deidara, why couldn't i pretend to be the perfect big brother, as well?

"Alright kid, sit down and we can play make-believe till your heart is content, un."

I spent two hours in that room just wondering if Deidara knew his behaviour had that sort of affect on Ino, though i knew he probably did. he was a complete brat like that and like his father, wouldn't hesitate to harm the mentality of a child to get what he wanted.

Sometimes i really didn't know about Deidara.

i really cared about him, i felt things for him that i certainly didn't feel about anybody else, hell i didn't even quite understand what i felt about him, and we'd done some things which i hadn't done - or even thought about doing - with anybody else, but the more his life and personality seemed to unfold, the more doubtful i became.

It was through a blur of these thoughts, that i found myself looking through his bookcase for something to read. i looked past the framed photographs of that smiling woman and seemingly innocent little boy. I wasn't aware before, that Deidara read. but now, i understood it quite well. his shelves were filled up with crime novels, horror novels, sci-fi novels and what looked to be about a thousand goosebumps books, like the ones i used to read when i was a child.

I skimmed through the shelves, looking for something i hadn't already read - though i had read a lot in my time, since we didn't always have a functioning television - and was disappointed going along the first shelf, my fingers skimming along the damaged, aged spines - some of which looked stolen and others looked as if they'd been picked up from yard sales and thrift shops, not exactly what you'd expect to find in a house like this but from Deidara, it was no surprise really. I went along the second shelf with the same luck, finding nothing even remotely interesting or unread.

Then i went along the third shelves, a ton of books were crammed onto this shelf, probably filled up with his favorites. i recognised most of the titles, and wondered when he'd ever had time for any of this.

That's when i found it, crammed in next to his worn out copy of Past Mortem - which had been my first encounter with sex through any form of media - a small cobalt blue book with no title written across it's spine. it had no defining features, but it's appearance of annomity was which called me toward it.

With a lot of difficulty, i plucked it from the shelf. it seemed even more damaged than any of the other books and was obviously older and had been used a lot more. this wasn't a reading book, that became obvious straight away.

So the question was... do i read it, or don't i?

Hell, I'm not even going to pretend i have a conscience at this point!

I opened it to the first page and on the plain white cover in smeared black writing it said;

_The contents of this journal are subject to the confidentiality law and should be viewed only by a medical professional with intention to analyse the psychological state of Iwa Deidara. The use of this journal has been court mandated and therefore is not an act of choice but one of circumstance. failure to comply may result in a longer jail sentence_.

Holy shit.

I hardly even understood any of that, but i knew it meant i wasn't supposed to be reading this journal.

What did i do now?

Should put it back?

Before i could even begin to do so, i had flipped onto the next page, where messy blue writing filled the lines ungracefully and angrily.

Did i dare read on?

* * *

**So I have a whole back story for Deidara prepared, screwed up like all fucked up characters, but I'm not too sure about posting it... **


	18. Chapter 18

**o i see this chapter as a sort of summarization of the things that are in Deidara's diary, because writing out all of the passages would be too much.**

**Now, just a little back story on the back story;**

**BACKSTORY: **_After Deidara was arrested at the age of fifteen for unknown reasons (hopefully we'll find out in this chapter) his father arranged for him to be released on the condition that a full psychological analysis be done on him to ensure that it was safe for him to be released in the first place. Then entire thing was written while in a prison cell over the duration of two months. but as i said, this is merely a summary._

* * *

My mother was a career criminal; an arsonist. she lit fires for money.

i said was, my mother died five years ago, but I'll get to that later.

When i was younger, my mother used to take me with her on jobs. sometimes she let me help. Sometimes she let me light the match. There always seemed to b a way to make them bigger, brighter, hotter and more beautiful.

She used to call me her little pyromaniac.

Mum and i lived alone in a small apartment above a bowling alley and near the airport. i used to sit by the window after school to pass time and watch the comings and goings. Men were always going into the small brick building across the road, all anonymous like and they'd come out looking robbed but satisfied. I think it was a whorehouse. either that or it was a crack house.

yeah, we lived in that part of town.

Every night saw police cars zooming at like a thousand miles and hour, down the road, their sirens screeching and lights flashing. i always used to watch them, hoping that one would crash and cause a pile up so that the criminal could escape.

I always thought of my mother when i saw a police chase.

Sometimes i still do.

When i was six, my mother made me stay away from the window, which had been my television up until then. a man had gotten shot outside the whorehouse.

I saw it with my own eyes and i would've been able to identify the shooter, too. But mum said if i told anybody, they'd be up in our place with their guns and stuff so fast, we wouldn't even have time to pray.

i stayed quiet.

from then on i spent my time at the arcades instead.

I used to bet my money on games like Dance, Dance Revolution, which i was crazy good at.

Mum used to smile at me with this sort of sadness, when she saw the money i'd swindled kids out of.

It was probably because she didn't want me to become a criminal like her, but at the same time she knew in a world like ours, i had hardly any choice.

The one thing i had as a child, the one hope, the single most important dream, was meeting my father.

Mum had always told me such wonderful things about him, he was kind and loving and rich - though i hardly cared about that part - but he was just a tad too busy for us. she always used to tell me, "ya father wants ta' see ya kid, he wants ta meet ya so badly, he just don't have enough time. he's a very important man, your father is, un."

yeah, she had my speech impediment, though i guess it had been hers first.

Whenever she told me that, i always used to ask her, "if daddy's so rich and great and important un, how come we live in such a shit hole?"

she was never able to answer that question, it always upset her and after a while, i just stopped asking.

I found out later on that i was an accident child, the result of eight too many drinks and m father's inability to tell the difference between his wife and a sixteen year old waitress. When mum had me, she was kicked out of home and had to turn to petty theft as a way to support me. she gave up everything for me and still loved me at the end of it all, and i mean right up until the very end.

Mum got involved with some bad people, as women in her line of work are likely to do. our city was big enough to have a few well known gangs and she had gotten in with one of the wrong ones.

I wasn't meant to be home that day, staring out the window and marvelling at a life that never seemed to move. when i heard mum get home i hid, because i didn't want her to hit me or get mad at me.

i was only ten years old at the time.

Then i heard everyone else come in, a bunch of guys i had met before, around a few years older than my mother which wasn't really that old at all. our apartment only had one room. i could see everything and i know my mother saw me before i hid deeper in the crevice between the couch and the wall, covered by piles of clothes.

I always felt like a coward when i hid; mum used to have guys over all the time and i would just hide like this. sometimes they would beat her, sometimes they did... other things, sometimes they would leave money. I would always just hide like a coward, even if i was only a little boy, i was the man of the house... i should've done something!

They were arguing about something, about mum leaving her line of work and heading back to school.

no, that wasn't okay with them. she needed to stay in place and do as she was told or there'd be consequences. after all, they knew her son, they could easily make her bend to their will using him.

But no, little pyromaniac Deidara was gone. shipped off to his father - she looked right at me in that moment, as i peeked out form behind a sheet - Iwa Hideki in Konaha City. if they ever tried to mess with her baby, there'd be hell to pay.

And i remember vividly, as one of the men drew a gun, and in an ice-cold voice he said, "well then, bod will miss you."

My mother's was the second murder i witnessed.

Even now i can still see the look on her face and i can still hear her screaming.

it took me two weeks to travel to Konaha City. i did everything from hitch-hiking, to stowing away on a train, to actually walking miles and miles on end.

I just kept in mind that if i continued on my journey long enough, i would get to meet him; my father, the man i'd been hearing about ever since i was a little boy i was ready to find out who i really was, and if there was anything out there in the world for me, that was more than just a rundown apartment in a bad neighborhood running rampant with murderous gang members.

Of course now, i find myself missing that simplistic life i had once lived. I just wasn't built for nice things.

Once in the city, it took me three days to finally track down my father. he lived on the nicer side of town, though i thought the people in the rougher places - which was the first place i'd thought to check- were actually quite nice, and at least they were honest, unlike the people i now find myself surrounded by.

I remember knocking on the door, really not knowing what to expect but knowing that the only way to move on was to go through with this.

A man with blonde hair opened the door, matching the description i'd gotten from some of the guys down by the factories. He looked at me with wary eyes, as though he had a ton of other things to be doing, and said, "What do you want, kid?"

Now i think that maybe those words and that glare were to try and scare me off, because i was so small and young, but i had come this far and from a place a lot worse than this, i wasn't going back for nothing.

"My name is Iwa Deidara, un" i said, lighting up a little when he reacted to my speech impediment, because it meant hope, "I believe you know my mother,"

However, i found nothing but a door, as it was slammed in my face.

He hadn't heard me correctly, that was it!

No I just needed to speak louder, that was it, surely that must be it!

Mum had told me about him, he was a nice man, he loved me, even if we'd never met, he wanted to know me, to have me in his life. that's what mum had said. she wouldn't lie to me, i knew it.

The door was opened again, not even a minute later, this time by a woman with black hair and dark brown eyes. she was holding a child, about fours years old, who was sleeping in her arms, and another kid, about my age, hid slightly behind her, staring at me nosily.

"Hey cutie, what brings you here?" she said in that standard voice which women use for talking to children. usually i found it annoying but now i thought it was comforting.

So i explained my situation to her, and she actually listened. i found out that her name was Uchiha Mikoto and the children were Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke.

After all of that, i wasn't even allowed into my father's house, i heard him yelling "that's not my son!" but i knew it was a joke.

My father was so funny!

whatever, sooner or later he was going to have to give it up, and we'd laugh and it will have been an awesome first impression.

That's what i used to think anyway.

eventually, it got too late for them to keep arguing, Mikoto's children needed their beds, the oldest had school the next day! And i was still out in the cold and dark, falling sleep on their front steps, i heard Mikoto whisper to her husband "the boy looks a lot like him, don't you think?"

i was woken up completely after those words, by a none-too-gentle kick, to see obsidian eyes staring at me.

"Get up kid, you can stay with us for the night -"

he was cut off by his wife, which i found funny but i didn't say a word, "until we get this situation sorted out," Mikoto corrected him, "you're welcome to stay with us until we work things out with your father,."

she believed me.

Thank god, somebody believed me.,

"unless you get yourself into trouble," Uchiha Fugaku finished, "If you do that, you'll be on your own."

Now initially i was gratful that these strangers were willing to take me in, on the simple basis that i looked a lot like my father - which made sense because i was his son! but after a while, i found the situation to be too much.

I was scared for what felt like the first time in my life - though it certainly wasn't.

there was no certainly, no assurance in my life. i had been abandoned by everything safe and real, i couldn't trust in the ground beneath my feet to stay there long enough for me to take that first step towards moving on. there was nothing anymore!

So on the third night of my stay at the Uchiha household - after having spent time with their children, meeting their idiot nephew Tobi, wearing clothes they'd lent me, eating food they'd made for me and making full use of their seemingly infallible kindness - I ran away.

I ran away with the intention of going home. One way or the other, i was going to get my father to look at me and acknowledge that i was his, and then he'd have no choice but to love me.

yes, by then i was pretty much in a state of hysteria.

I broke into a house that should've been rightfully mine to live in, through a window on the second floor, and found myself in a nursery.

well this just proved it! he had a nursery set up which meant he must've known and had always regretted not being able to see me as a baby

maybe this was all too much, he never thought this day would come and so he thought it was just a dream.

Breaking and entering into my fathers house, was my first recorded criminal offence.

I say first because it certainly wasn't going to be my last.

I was kept in a juvenile facility for a week before anything happened. i kept hoping against reason, that somebody would come for me, to take me back to the way things used to be or towards the way they should be now. but nothing happened.

on the day of my juvenile court case, i found that i'd be gotten a lawyer, by Mikoto, apparently at her little boy's insistence. and by some beautiful miracle, a blood test was ordered.

I was kept in my juvenile cell for the next three days after a sample of my blood was taken, with the possibility of foster care looming just above my head like a thick dark cloud. Then the results came back positive and i was released into his custody.

I felt like my life had finally amounted to something.

Then i found out that he had a wife and a young daughter, who had already taken up all of the occupiable space in his heart.

I hated them.

I had no reason for it but i hated them.

Why did they get it so easy?

Why was it so unconditional for them?

Had they even done anything at all?

Had either of them been through half of what i'd been through?!

The way he treated them was so much nicer and sweeter than the way he treated me. i wondered if this was the man my mother had been talking about, and i had just shown up a little late to grab a ticket for the show.

He looked at me like i was nothing. he sat me down in one of the large rooms of his house, just me sitting there across from his family of pretty little blue eyed blondes, who didn't seem to know what to think.

And he said, "Alright boy, what does she want?"

"What does who want, un?" i asked, thinking i shouldn't be so quick to call him dad as it didn't seem that this relationship would go that way.

"Your mother, what does she want? money?"

That was when i realisedthat even though i was his son, it didn't mean that he had to love me.

To him i was nothing but a disgrace, a horrible mistake he wished he'd never made.

"She doesn't want anything un, she's dead," was all i said.

|From that point on, i guess he had no choice but to take me in.

I was sent to the most expensive schools, given expensive things as if to adjust me to a charmed lifestyle, i was taught all of the things i, as the oldest son - and the only son - would have to know. i had all this knowledge of what seemed to be another world, crammed into me.

i missed my mother,.

My father never even spoke to me.

I was still all alone,.

I had Ino, my little sister, but i couldn't bring myself to look at her without thinking about the way she had taken my place. i knew it was selfish and mean, but i couldn't help it, i was still a child deep down and i still am, no matter how old i get, i'll always be a child just desperately looking for the comfort and relative safety of a constant parent figure.

As i got older, i guess you could say that y abandonment issues and pyromania got worse.

I had a friend in my first school, we were really close, and then i saw him talking to somebody else, laughing and stuff like we did, and i got sort of really scared that he was going to leave me, and so i decided to light up his classroom.

That had been a mess.

I was thirteen at the time.

I spent three months in a juvenile prison.

It would've been longer, but my father knew some people and pulled some strings. he'd been doing that a lot to try and make my little mistakes disappear.

Okay then, let's talk about my first year of highschool. That's why i'm in prison in the first place.

God i don't know why they think i'm insane, but then again, it wasn't exactly an isolated incident, was it?

Okay so to understand this story, you have to know that i really only went through with the whole private school ordeal for my father's sake. i didn't care about my own future, hell i don't even care if i make it to tomorrow. i just want to have him smile at me. even just once.

well there was this one moment that he seemed pretty damn proud of me.. but that's a whole other story entirely.

ah hell, yall are here to analyse my psyche or whatever, so here it goes.

My father and i both know that i don't like girls, we know because ever since i turned fourteen, he's been trying to set me up with one. however, the first time my father ever smiled at me, ever seemed to look at me with something that wasn't contempt or a look that seemed to say why are you in my life? was when i had a girl leave my house at about six in the morning, in the second week of me being a first year high school student.

That little stunt had had the desired effect and got my father's attention for about six seconds, but it certainly wasn't worth the price.

That was about when i realised he only responded when i did bad things and only bad things were going to get me noticed.

When did he spend the most time with me?

When i was in prison!

Did you know that between me writing this stupid journal , he's been to visit me twice every week?

You want a reason for my behaviour?

Well there's you damn reason!

When i started to do well in that private school, i thought maybe my grades would get the same positive attention as my attempt to change the way my heart was programmed. But no, instead i found out that he was planning to send me away to a boarding school, so that i would be out of his hair and he could focus on raising his darling daughter.

I tell you, i have NEVER been so pissed in my entire life.

Was i really that disposable?

Well i wasn't going to just go away so easily!

Nuh-uh, there was still a hell of a lot of fight left in me!

So do you know what i did?

Well of course, you already know what i did, that's the whole reason i'm here after all.

I blew it up. That stupid school went up like nothing and now i'm in prison with a psyche evaluation hanging over my head right next to the possibility of a longer sentence.

Part of me just thinks god is trying to screw with me, but the other half knows things will be alright.

And if that doesn't spell crazy, really i don't know what does.

* * *

I flipped the final empty page of the journal, closing my eyes slowly and opening the at the same painstakingly slow speed. they burned like hell, after having read the entire journal in the course of three hours.

I didn't know what to think about any of it.

I certainly didn't know w=that the brat had lived that sort of a life.

hell if i'd known that i probably would've listened to Tobi...

Wait no.

I wasn't going to abandon Deidara just because what i'd read had freaked me out a little.

That probably wouldn't go over very well... apparently he had abandonment issues.

I probably never should've gotten close to him.

God what had i done?

No, i had to think about it rationally; the entire time i had known him, he hadn't shown any - or many, at least - of the symptoms described in this journal.

so i was probably safe for the time being.

I would have to bring it up tomorrow when i saw him after school.

* * *

**Shit I'm sorry if this chapter got a little too long and pointless and** **weird... **


	19. Chapter 19

**Im so tired! i've barely gotten any sleep this entire week. it's been a mess of getting this written for my lovely readers, and trying to read all of the Shotacon Manga on YaoiHaven Reborn. Not to mention my homework... i FELL ASLEEP IN BIOLOGY TODAY because i was so exhausted, and i fell asleep again on the field and my bestie was apparently taking pictures of me...**

**So anyway, if this chapter turns out bad, many apologies in advance.**

* * *

I stared at the journal guiltily, trying not to panic.

There were things written in there that i didn't want him to know! I didn't want him to pity me or fear me or tink i wasn't a good temporary guardian for his cousins - who i had come to love over the weekend. i just wanted him to stand by my side and care about me consistently, through good and through bad, that kind of thing!

Every Deep dark little secret that the Uchiha's knew about me, was down in that journal for Sasori's nosy eyes to see!

Oh god, i was going to have meltdown!

Maybe i should just light the library on fire before he can do anything.

Yeah! that sounded like a great plan!

I felt my hand twitch in a nervous way which i hadn't felt since that night by the pier.

No.

I wasn't that person anymore.

I had think rationally about this.

I felt my hand twitch again.

I never was very good at thinking under pressure.

"that journal was confidential, un," i managed to say, my voice came out dry and raspy and broke part way through the second word.

"Yeah but i'm you, for the time being, so it should be fine," he said in a way that told me this wasn't going to go away on a technicality.

silence for a moment.

My hand twitched again, out of my control like my speech impediment, pyromania was a part of who i was.

Sasori then said, "weren't you ever afraid?"

And before i could stop myself, i said, "I'm afraid right now, un."

He looked at me weirdly and said, "What for?"

Maybe he couldn't see the way he was looking at me, the judgement in those eyes seemed to be drowning me. Maybe it was only me having trouble breathing in this room, maybe i was the only one who was suffocating.

I decided for the first time, to try being honest.

"I'm afraid of a lot of things, un. But right now, i'm scared that the most constant thing in my life is about to go away," i said, my hands were all but shaking by now. i knew there was a book of matches in Sasori's bag and a couple of lighters as well. these old books would burn up pretty quickly, and so would the stale carpet beneath our feet.

"i'm a firebug, un," i told him carefully, "and when i get scare i -"

"If you're really that scared then go ahead, i won't stop you," Sasori had already retrieved the matches and now placed them gently in my hand.

"are you afraid, un?" i asked him, relaxing at the thought of a bright, beautiful flame engulfing the both of us.

I always knew i'd go out in a blaze.

"No. i think you've come a long way since writing all of that. i don't think you'll really do it."

Silly Danna, having all this misplaced faith in me. he of all people should know by now that people never change. i'm still the reckless little pyromaniac i was back then. children never learn!

So then, why wasn't i lighting up the room?

Why wouldn't my hands move?

Why did i feel... safe?

"You... trust me, un?" i asked, shocked to actually hear those words come out.

"Of course i do. at first, with my cousins, i didn't but i know so much more about you now."

Yeah, maybe just a little too much. i had always thought telling people about myself would be a bad thing.

"You don't think i'm crazy or anything, un?"

"No, i think you're insane."

I couldn't help but smile at that.

"But i don't think you're damaged or dangerous. i think i'm beginning to understand you better; your just a kid who's been through a ton of shit and you don't want to spend every hour of every day thinking about it. i understand that."

I was so happy that this was the way things had turned out - when he brought it up, i figured that this would be it, once we got our bodies back we;d go our separate ways and never speak again - i latched onto him tightly to show the way i was feeling, better than words really could. however, i found it was really weird hugging my own body.

Maybe there were some advantages to having your own body.

"So this means your not going to leave, un?" i asked, barely a whisper, because i was ashamed at having even thought those words

Of course he wouldn't!

For starters, because i wasn't going to let him, but also because he cared about me!

"If i'm being completely honest, i considered it. once i had finished reading, i thought i'd do anything to turn back the clock to before i started caring about you, but the more i focussed on that, the more i realised i really didn't want to. besides, knowing you have put a little excitement into my routine of a world."

excitement.

What did he mean?

Did he mean like now, how we couldn't find our way back into our own bodies? is that what he meant?

Although most of me didn't want to go back. i loved having a family, even if it wasn't my right to have them.

I knew he was probably anxious to get back to his cousins, but i was glad to have a break from fiance's and manners and nice things and annoying rich people.

"you know, your not alone right?" He asked.

"of course un, i have you and, as long as i don't screw up, i have your cousins -"

"no that's not what i mean," He looked rather annoyed that his family, was the one i had claimed to fill my childish need for love, "your sister. you'll always have her."

I scrunched my face up in plain disgust. he'd read what i wrote so he should know how much i hated her and her mother as well.

"Are you kidding me, un?" i asked, trying to fully express how this made me feel.

"She loves you, she's always consistently loved you," Sasori countered, "you know, in a way the two of you are so alike!"

I glared, wishing that looks could kill, i said, "take it back, un."

"i would if i weren't true, but it is! The two of you are both looking to please somebody who doesn't even notice you and when that person does notice you, they treat you like a pest! your whole life has been a useless escapade for this person's attention, all amounting to nothing! you could break the cycle if you weren't such a brat!"

"Why do you even care, un?" i asked in an almost bitter way.

I was probably because Danna had a soft spot for kids, that was why he'd taken care of his cousins for so long, after all.

"Because i care about you, and it's not healthy to be so alone and fixated on something so unachievable -"

"No un, it's not unachievable! just you watch, i'll reach my goal! my father will be proud of me, he'll acknowledge me, no matter what it takes, i'll make this happen!"

whoa, probably a bad idea to say all of that...

But it's a sore subject for me, i really couldn't help it!

It seemed a bit like he ignored my words, but at the same time he acknowledged them, took them into consideration and but didn't react to them. he said, "Yes well, i n the meantime, once you and i figure out a way to switch back, i want you to at least try, okay?"

"But -"

"No buts, brat."

But i didn't want to!

"I'm not going to promise you something when i don't mean it."

He sighed, "well there's a simple way to fix that; say it and mean it. I want you to have somebody close to you, when you go back home, who you can rely on and stuff. I don't want you to stay shut away in that room."

Well when he put it like that...

"Fine un, i'll give it a damn try!" i all but yelled. then i realised what day it is and said, "you're going to be late if we sit around here any longer, un. your supposed to be having dinner at Itachi's house tonight, and your future wife is probably gonna be there too, un," i told him, packing my things away quickly while he took his time. Unlike him, i had three younger kids to tend to.

he frowned, his nose wrinkling in disgust - it was really weird constantly looking at my own face for a reaction to my own words - and he said, "do i really have to deal with that girl? she's entirely too sweet."

oh poor Danna, i'd yet to tell him of Aiko's true nature.

Well it could be a surprise!

"I'm afraid so, Danna un," i said casually.

he seemed to accept defeat. good.

"So how did you get along with my friends, today?"

I shrugged easily and said normally, "they're a bunch of psychotic freaks, un. but i did learn a few knew things."

Sasori's friends were actually really nice people, if you looked passed their differences and didn't piss them off.

Pein and Konan had this psycho parent complex, probably why they surrounded themselves with underclassmen in the first place.

Konan didn't like violence and would use violence in order to stop it.

Tobi was apparently just as smart as his younger cousin.

He also shipped two of his friends together, with a weird amount of enthusiasm, like he knew it was a recipe for disaster and decided to go with it anyway.

Itachi was apparently into dudes - huh, just like me - or at least a dude was into him.

Sasori nodded thoughtfully and said, "just remember brat; what you learn from my friends, stays with them. I don't want you using my body as an excuse to get other people in trouble."

* * *

Dinner at Itachi's house. I didn't know if that would be better or worse than having dinner with Deidara's family.

I was driven there in a separate car from my family - well Deidara's family, whatever - because apparently there was no room for me in the main car. i think what Hideki was really trying to say, was that there was no room for me in their life.

But Deidara was determined to stick around, even when his faith in a useless man was rewarded only with attempts to get rid of him, and so i decided that i would do my part and graciously pretend i didn't notice Hideki basically telling me in a silent rich person way, to fuck off.

I had met Deidara's driver before, he was a nice enough guy, offered to let me drive whenever he had to take me somewhere, but since i didn't know the first thing about cars, let alone driving one, i always declined.

We took a shortcut - the guy seemed to know all of them, it was amazing, we'd always get to wherever we were going ahead of everyone else - and ended up early. I stupidly asked if he was going to come in, though i felt like it was something that Deidara would do anyway, just to annoy his father, and i was reminded that the help didn't get the full rich experience, they just got to be in the presence of people with a lot more money who thought they were better than everybody else. i never really thought about the people behind the scenes, basically because i was one of them, but i knew Deidara constantly thought about them; he had one foot in both worlds and sometimes i wondered if he would ever decide who he really wanted to be.

When i got into the house - let in by who i'm assuming was the doorman, though we didn't have one of those at my fake house - i was immediately embraced by Mikoto, Itachi's mother.

"Deidara, it's wonderful to see you again!" she exclaimed happily. i hugged back awkwardly. i had always liked Mikoto, she'd always been the unreasonably nice balance within an otherwise cold family, and it now felt as though i were lying to her.

"Y-yeah, you too,, un," i said quietly, hoping she wouldn't hear me or say anything else.

"I hope they're treating you alright back home," she continued, giving me a smile bright enough to outshine the sun.

Why was it that all the women i knew were like this?

"yeah, no un, it's fine," i said awkwardly.

She leaned in and whispered, like a schoolgirl telling a secret, "is your father still being a prick?"

And at first i really didn't know what to say, but form what i'd read in Deidara's journal and the small interactions i'd seen between the two of them when i joined them the week before, i knew the relationship they had was a lot like that of a mother/son - that would make Itachi and possibly Tobi the annoying and hated older brothers.

Yes it was all starting to make a lot of sense now.

"Well un, you saw him last week," i said, growing more and more confident with every word, "You tell me."

She laughed lightly and said, "you really need to come around here more often."

From there, i was ushered into the house, went through the standard routine - or at least that was the way it felt - and ended up hanging out in a small room with Tobi, Itachi and Aiko, who's family had been waiting around for about half an hour.

I felt uneasy sitting across from Deidara's two biggest enemies, with his future wife - unless i could help it - sitting right beside me.

My own fake family had arrived somewhere within the time it took for us to get settled down, dragging Ino along with them, who gave me a look that clearly said to get rid of my fiance, before she was rushed off to spend time with the kids. Hideki seemed quite intent on pushing her and Sasuke together. yeah, it would be big for his family to marry into the Uchiha family, kind of like the Haruno's trying to marry into this one. these rich people were only interested in moving up in the world.

"Is it always this quiet?" Aiko asked, her voice as sweet as ever, her yellow dress adding to her weird little girl appearance.

Being his friend for so long, had trained me to hear every little sound Tobi made and i heard him whisper to Itachi, "What does she want, a fucking carnival?"

And i made the mistake of laughing.

"Something funny?" Itachi asked, in that weirdly intimidating way that all Uchiha's - at least the ones i knew - seemed to have down to a science.

"You probably wouldn't get it un," i said as rudely as i possibly could.

Aiko seemed to sense the tension and tried to disarm it, she said, "so, how do you all know each other?"

"we're cousins," Itachi said dully, pointing between Tobi and himself, "and he used to live with us before moving in with his father."

"you mean before becoming a prison bitch," Tobi remarked quietly.

I couldn't help myself; i felt like those words were directed right at me. I got out of my seat and said, "If you've got something to say, un, then damn say it!"

I knew the look on Tobi's face and it meant that somebody was about to get hurt - in this case that somebody was me - but before he could fully react, Hideki came in and saw what was happening. i was sure that from his point o view, it looked as if his vicious son was trying to beat up a mentally-handicapped kid just for the luls.

"Sit down boy," he growled at me, pushing me back into my seat roughly. i swear if i were in my own body, i would've fought back. he whispered harshly, "I swear boy, if you ruin this deal i've got going with the Haruno's, there won't be another chance. i've had enough of your bullshit, so you better behave."

I wondered if anybody else had heard that, though right now it looked as if they were all trying to act like they hadn't. Even Tobi seemed to be diffused by what had happened; not satisfied that there had been consequences for me and not for him, just diffused.

I wondered for a moment how Tobi felt about this, since he knew how it felt to have parents who didn't love you because there was something wrong with you.

Looking around, i found so many people who were similar to Deidara, just floating around in his life and yet on the opposing side. there were all these people who knew what it was like to not be noticed, or appreciated beyond their performance or for what they did for their family. Ino, Tobi, Itachi, they would all understand and yet he pushed them all away.

I guess he was just afraid that they'd judge him too.

They were from such different worlds after all, but they were the same.

We ate shortly after the conflict.

Nobody mentioned anything, but Mikoto seemed to be trying to talk to me from across the table.

A part of me liked knowing that she was there, like a caring second mother, but another part of me knew Deidara would never appreciate that like he should.

The Haruno's looked so out of place here, they were shabby and underdressed and didn't look like the type of people to frequently experience nice things. Hideki had apparently given up and was selling a ticket into his family, to a commoner.

Still, they did their best to fit in and if you ask me - which i think you should - they did a pretty good job.

Then, around the end of the meal, where i Hideki and Fugaku to argue again over who's child was better than who's, an announcement was made by Hideki.

""A great deal of thought has gone into this and we think that the faster these two get married, the better. so it has been decided that the wedding will be held three weeks from now, when Aiko is officially old enough to marry."

I almost spit out my drink when i heard that.

Three weeks from now... that's when they were having that stupid dance at the school.,..

Dammit, i had plans that day!

* * *

"I'm home!" i called, entering a place that wasn't actually my home but looked a lot like the place i used to live.

"Welcome back!" Temari called, "Did you bring back some food?"

"yeah but not for you."

Almost immediately, three cousins that weren't mine, poured out of their shared bedroom to eat whatever it was i'd brought back with me.

"I brought in the mail too," i said, "hopefully it's not all bills."

"what else would it be?" Temari asked, "all we get is bills and junk mail."

They had gotten into the bags i'd brought with me by now, they were like little raccoons and got at anything that wasn't wrapped in plastic - it took them a little longer to get into the plastic stuff.

i began to flip through the letters, tossing them carelessly ahead of me as i did, counting up a mental score every time i hit one of the kids.

"Bill, bill, bill, bill, letter form Gaara's school which is probably also a bill, bill... wait, what's this? Temari i think you got a letter."

I handed the small lavender envelope to her and she read the cute little handwritten address written in fancy black calligraphy.

She scowled, her eyes filled with barely concealed disgust.

"ugh, Kankuro you've got a letter," she handed him the small envelope.

it was the same reaction, he didn't even open it, and said, "geez, can't she at least send some damn cookies?" he rolled his eyes and said, "Gaara, you've got a letter."

Gaara didn't say anything, he just took the letter, looked it over very briefly, and turned on the stove, waiting a few moments for it to get hot before burning the letter without even reading it.

"How does she even get our address?" he wondered out loud.

I decided not to question any of this.

* * *

**So i've sort of opened every possible door right now and it might end up screwing me in the end, but whatever. now i've already planned how they're going to switch back but does anybody have any idea what i'm thinking?**


	20. Chapter 20

**I've been feeling really sad lately. I think my parents might take me to the doctors for it on Monday (pacific time) So if i don't update on Sunday (America Time) then that's probably why**.

* * *

I was at school early on Tuesday, even though i knew Deidara and Temari wouldn't be there for a while, hell they'd probably come late, but i was anxious to ell Deidara what had happened, and his driver really didn't mind bringing me so early.

I ended up getting bored pretty quickly though and ended up roaming around the empty school halls, which was just as creepy in the morning as it was at night.

What time when was it?

My cousins would just be getting on the train by now.

Fuck.

I really wanted to see them!

I hadn't seen any if them since Saturday - not even Temari - and that might not seem like a big deal to you but it was like a lifetime to me! I had no idea what was going on with them at all!

I would have to talk to Deidara about arranging a time for us all to spend a little time together.

Not surprisingly, Itachi was also in school, probably the only other kid there at this time. He'd always come this early, it was how he and I met when he was a first year student. From there he was sort of dragged into my psychotic family-esque group, dragging his cousin along with him.

Personally, I think its good for the eight of us to have a completely safe place for us to speak our minds and spill all of our most terrible secrets. It was the sort of thing that Deidara really needed in his life.

Of course now, I was Deidara, and Deidara didn't think any of the tings that I thought, nor did he have any - or many at least - of my memories. But it felt weird to be in the same hall as one of my friends - even though sometimes I wished I has no friends - but staying completely quiet.

Maybe I could get to the bottom of why the hated each other - though it was really more Deidara, since I had never known Itachi to hate anybody.

"Your here early," I said' breaking this sort of sacred silence, where we both acknowledged each others presence but did nothing about it.

Itachi looked at me, obsidian eyes narrowing suspiciously before filling with what I recognised as amusement.

"I could say the same thing about you," he said casually, "but I'm always here this early. You should know that by now, Sasori."

I froze in place.

He knew?

He knew!

Shit!

But he couldn't prove anything - yet - so we were good - for now.

The ghost of a smile graced him for a moment and he said, "no matter how hard you try, your never going to fool these eyes."

Right, the eyes. It was a little known fact amongst our group, that Itachi - and Tobi as well - had these sort of psychotic eyes that could see through any type of deception. I hadn't thought to take it into account.

"Though I must admit that the two of you have done a wonderful job of impersonating each other. I seem to be the only one who has noticed a difference, so far."

Ah, a silver lining.

"So Tobi doesn't know?"

"If he did, would the two of you still be a live right now? This isn't the sort of thing Tobi is likely to take lightly, we have all. Been operating under the assumption that you are in your own body. Deidara has heard things which he probably shouldn't have."

I was slowly beginning to rediscover that Itachi could be just as scary as his cousin sometimes.

"Well you can relax because he's not going t have time to tell anybody whatever he heard, and besides nobody will believe what a commoner says," I assured him, mostly because I didn't want Deidara to get hurt while in my body - or at all. "O when did you figure it out?"

"Last night actually," he said, "usually when Deidara gets told off by his father he gets all quiet and sad but I could tell you wanted t fight back. And when I thought about it, there were a lot of small things too, like Deidara standing up to Tobi while in your body -"

"What is he, crazy?

"You must know the answer to that by now."

Right, of curse. Did.

"Well what happened, specifically?"

"Tobi was telling you off for hanging out with Deidara, you know, normal stuff."

"Tobi should really stop trying to control my life."

"Tell that to Tobi."

Yeah, I'd actually rather not.

Itachi seemed to read my mind, judging by the look in his eyes.

"So what happened to the two of you, anyway?" He asked in order to change the subject.

"I have no idea! I'm going crazy trying to figure it out, but as far as I now, we were just sitting around doing nothing!". Exclaimed, thoroughly annoyed with my current situation.

"Then perhaps there's a third party involved?"

"Yeah we thought of that; Deidara was convinced that his bride to be was a witch -"

"But how would doing this to you benefit her n anyway?"

"That's what I said! Besides, she didn't seem to be able to tell the difference last night... what do you think?"

Itachi sighed a long suffering sign and said, "I think that the two of you need to figure out a way to switch back before the wedding, or before Tobi finds out. Whichever comes first."

Well hopefully neither would ever happen...

"Why do the two of you hate him so much?" It just slipped out, I swear.

"I don't hate anybody," he said coldly, "Tobi on the other hand, could give you a list a mile long about why he hates just about anybody."

"Mind giving me the summarized version for Deidara?"

"It's not going to change anything."

"Maybe not, but it can't hurt to try, can it?"

Again Itachi sighed but resigned himself to the fact that he had to answer me whether he liked it or not. "Its stupid if you really think about it, but Tobi's main problems with Deidara, is that he cares too much about what his father thinks about him. They're on completely opposite sides and Tobi hates watching Deidara destroy himself this way. Back when Deidara used t live with us, even though it wasn't for very long, we were all really close, but it was hard listening to Deidara constantly ramble on about making his father come to terms with their blood ties. Whenever we tried to explain to him that it was a hopeless task, he would flip out and so Tobi just decided to give up on him."

I nodded and listened to what was said, thinking the whole the time about how weird this all was.

"Here I was thinking the three of you had met in the summer and it turns out you go way back," I said, even though I had read it before, I hadn't realised there was actually a larger back story than the one I already knew.

"We never really thought to bring it up... but I think Tobi really started hating him when Deidara sort of started to change, trying to fit in with his fathers expectations and stuff while I that private school. That just wasn't who Deidara really was, and Tobi was ecstatic when..."

"When Deidara got arrested the second time?"

"Well, yeah. But he still looked down on Tobi and began acting like a self-righteous jerk, even though he was the real screw-up of a child. tobi might not be wanted anymore, but at least he was planned. You remember when Tobi took that extra long holiday last year around spring break?" Itachi looked both ways before saying the next bit, "it was because after Deidara got released from prison, there was a bit of... unpleasantness and Tobi ended up spending a month in a psychiatric hospital."

"Holy hell, what?" Did I even really know these people? "Don't tell me you were locked up too!"

"Would you be surprised if I couldn't say I hadn't?"

God damn, these rich people were psycho!

"Don't look now, but here comes Tobi and Deidara," Itachi said, "heh, look at them actually getting along. Poor Tobi, if he only knew."

I sighed, "I better get ready for this."

Really, this was just an excuse to be a jerk to Tobi.

"What are you doing here?" Tobi spat, not even bothering to hide it anymore. It seemed he was completely fe up by ow.

"Same as you, un," I said cheerfully, in a voice that made me want to slit my own throat. "Assuming you actually have the capacity to learn, un."

Beside Tobi, I saw myself snickering, clearly Deidara was amused at my sudden willingness to do this sort of thing.

Tobi looked furiously at Itachi to take some course of action, but i knew he wouldn't and later he'd he an earful for it.

Deep down, it seemed as though Itachi really wanted Deidara back, the way he had been before. Even just talking t me, in this body, seemed to greatly brighten his mood.

"Anyways un, i really need to talk to Sasori about something real quick. hope you don't mind un," before waiting for an answer, i grabbed my own and - geez this situation was damn weird - and pulled myself down he hall and away from the fuming older Uchiha.

"What was that about, un?" Deidara whispered as i pulled him along. he was smiling, though i thought it looked kind of weird on my own features, somehow knowing it was him behind all of that, made it work.

"Itachi and i were just talking," I told him, "Oh and he knows that we switched."

"What un? how does he know?!"

"he guessed last night during dinner, but that's not what i wanted to talk to you about."

We were in the quad by now, i hadn't noticed the students filling up the school until just now and i could feel the rest of my friends eyes on us, since me just standing here was a direct violation of Tobi's law.

But this was more important than my psycho friends and their psycho hangups.

"we have three weeks to get ourselves back to normal, and to get a game plan because i'm not marrying that woman and i'll be damned if i let you marry her," i said in one breath, ultra fast so that maybe he wouldn't hear the note of jealousy contained in my words.

"Three weeks?!" he yelled. i cringed because i felt the eyes on us grow more and more curious as he conversation carried on, though now i knew their attention was piqued. "Are they insane? we haven't even known each other for that long!"

"well that doesn't matter to them, does it? all that matters is that this marriage gets them all one step closer to that thing they want the most," unfortunately for Deidara, the thing his father waned most was for him to be out of his life, "do you have any ideas?"

"Well un, i was thinking maybe if we reenacted exactly what we were doing before it happened, maybe we'd be able to switch back. because it seems pretty much like a consequence of circumstance, un."

"that could work," i agreed, "alright so then when do you want to do it?"

"Preferably as soon as possible, un. not that i don't like living your life, but i've gotten really off track of my plan for winning over my father's heart. so when can we do this?"

"well your parents are going out of town over the weekend, so we can do it then," i said. i didn't want hi to been see around there, ever since what his father had said to me last time i was in my own body, "anyway, i was hoping that the five of us... me you and my cousins, could do something `after school like, tomorrow or today... or something."

Deidara smiled brightly, still managing to pull it off even in my body, he said, "aw that's so cute! Danna misses his family, un!"

"shut up," i said, but of course he didn't.

"it's only been like, four days and your already homesick, un? that's adorable!" he laughed and said, "we've got tomorrow free i think, and you don't have after school practice, so we can go to the mall or something, n!"

i sighed, "do we really have to go there?"

"yes, un!" he stopped for a moment and said, "right un, i was meant to tell you, a letter came to the house yesterday and i couldn't really tell who it was from so i gave it to Temari and -"

"they burnt it, right?" i asked, he nodded and i knew instantly what he was talking about, "it's from our grandmother."

"Danna has a grandmother, un?"

"of course. you remember when i told you about the last resort for my family? well that's her, none of us want to live with Granny Chiyo, that's the main reason i decided to look after my cousins. but if she sent a letter, she must be coming to visit."

"Is that a bad thing, un?"

i nodded, "believe me, you do not want to be around when our grandmother comes to visit. i don't know why, but she'll do anything to try and get custody of those kids. we only got away on a technicality last time, but there's still a year to go before i'm legally allowed to take care of those kids."

I wondered if i should mention that she didn't really like me all that much and she was a complete religious nut.

nah, just in case she came before we switched, i wanted it to be a surprise.

"so then i'm guessing un, that i don't want to be around when she shows up?"

that's right, you definitely don't.

* * *

**This story is getting far too long if you ask me, hell it's almost as long as my last story, which got completely out of hand. sorry for anyone getting bored by this going nowehere, but im pretty sure they'll switch back in the next chapter. Anonymous reviewer came me an awesome idea to add on to my own. **


	21. Chapter 21

**Still sad. it may or may not reflect in this chapter. Still unbelievably tired, so if the ideas in this chapter are weird or the construction is poor, i think we'll all know why. What can i say? life of a senior is hard, especially when trying to outshine one's arch nemesis.**

* * *

I was anxiously looking forward to Wednesday afternoon, when. Would finally be able to spend time with my cousins again. When I thought about it, I decided it probably was a little stupid hat I missed them already, since most of the time they made me regret the day I had decided to take them in, but as Temari kept insisting, i loved them and that was that.

I floated through most of my Tuesday classes, since it was stuff i already knew anyway. Itachi had decided to start communicating with me in class - it seemed like he wanted to go that extra mile jus to annoy Tobi and force him into a conflict which would hopefully resolve everything. i breezed through after school baseball practice as well, spending most of the time with both Itachi and Konan - who i found i missed a considerable amount, and who Itachi had told about the switching.

That boy really needed to learn to shut his mouth.

The three of us - and three others - were sitting out on the bench as subs, which was good because i didn't know the first thing about baseball anyway.

"So did you say yes?" Konan asked suddenly, breaking the silence with a question which i didn't immediately understand.

It really hadn't taken long for me to fall out of the loop with my friends. things were always, always changing with them.

Itachi sighed, "what do you think?" he asked.

"I think you better tell me the answer yourself between you find yourself physically impaired, because i think that i hated to guess," Konan replied sweetly.

I looked blankly between my two friends before Konan caught me looking. she leaned in and whispered - having to lean over Itachi - with that gleeful smile i had seen Tobi wear o occasion, "Kisame finally got the nerve to ask Itachi out today. i'm trying to figure out what he said."

Are you kidding?" i stage whispered back, we both looked up at Itachi to see him staring at us, annoyed, "of course he said yes!"

Even though i was in this body - and even though i often wished i had never been sucked into their insanity - it felt wonderful to interact with my friends again.

I knew Itachi would definitely say yes, no matter how the question was worded, unless his family had taken extreme measures to intervene, but just the fact that Kisame had dared to ask, said that Itachi's family wouldn't be an issue.

Konan smiled and leaned back, saying out loud, "did ya? huh, huh, huh?" with every 'huh' she poked him on the cheek, smiling that smile which was hard to get mad at.

Again Itachi sighed, displaying that eternal patience of his. "If you must know, i said yes."

"I KNEW IT!" Konan all but squealed, pointing at him as though he'd committed a crime, "Tobi said this would happen."

Itachi pointedly looked at me when he said, "We should all listen to Tobi. Tobi is always right."

The rest of the practice was a blur of watching the younger boys struggle - and fail - to beat the younger members of the girls team, and listening to Konan squeeze every last bit of information out of Itachi.

I knew she basically had every member of our group paired up with people in her mind, whether or not with other people in the group - just like Tobi did - but i had always wondered, in their grand scheme where did i belong?

The only way an of them had ever pushed me was away from Deidara, and if that was the course they had set out for me, i was almost a hundred percent sure that i couldn't go thorough with it.

I found falling asleep that night to be probably one of the hardest things i'd ever had to do.

Dinner with Deidara's family was painful as always, and i spent a bit of time with his sister afterwards, since she reminded me so much of a younger version of Temari, but it seemed i was simply too excited for a small taste of home, to fall asleep right away.

Was this how Deidara felt when he was here?

I was beginning to understand him a little better and the way he wanted to no material things or money, only a family who loved him and a roof over his head that only leaked during really bad storms.

Right now i would much rather have the safety of my family around me, rather than the safety of this big house and a working alarm system. that didn't mean anything to me since I wasn't scared of anything that couldn't get past an alarm system.

I fell asleep around three in the morning.

The next day was pretty much more of the same, except instead of paying attention, i fell asleep in most of Deidara's classes, and during the breaks i managed to find a quiet enough spot to get a bit more sleep. Itachi kept trying to talk to me and Tobi was clearly getting annoyed, which I had to admit was pretty funny, but compared to the fact that Deidara and Temari were waiting for me outside the gate after school, i really couldn't care less about anything that had ever happened in my life.

Ah, but what to say? because i wasn't me right now. i had to pretend to be somebody i wasn't and i hadn't taken into consideration, how painful that would be.

"Hey Deidara!" Temari waved at me, a smile on her face. It felt as if I hadn't seen her in so long and it killed me that she was using somebody else's name to speak to me. "Geez, its like I haven't seen you in years!"

Even if it had only been a couple of days. Though she didn't seem entirely regretful about that fact.

Maybe she hadn't been able to tell the difference.

Maybe she was simply happier with the way things were right now.

"Yeah, I now the feeling, ...un," I said. I felt incredibly awkward using that speech impediment in front of her.

I had persuaded Deidara's driver to leave the car here for me, he was happy to do so and now the only issue was -

"Here, let me drive," Deidara took the keys right out of my hand.

Good, because I didn't know the first thing about driving - though I was sure Deidara didn't know much more than that - and I didn't want my cousins to be hurt because of such circumstances.

"You don't even have a licence!" Temari protested, "is it even safe for you to be driving?"

"He doesn't have a licence either, un," Deidara muttered, before unlocking the back door and motioning for Temari to get in, "quit arguing kid, I'm an adult and an awesome driver. Would I let you get in the car if it wasn't safe?"

Temari frowned, but it seemed that she trusted him - or at least the body he was in - even if he wasn't technically an adult.

I was dismayed by the level of trust Gaara seemed to have in Deidara, and the look he gave me once he got in the car, and once again I was annoyed by the fact that Kankuro got n the car before Deidara even bothered to roll down the window, though this time I wasn't in a position to lecture him about it, but I got to listen to Deidara telling him off instead.

Deidara seemed to notice all of this and the effect it had on me, he said really quietly, "Relax Danna, they're only behaving like this because they think i'm you."

"I know, but i didn't think it was going to be like this."

"well hopefully we can get switched back over the weekend. you can return to your loving family and i can return to mine."

right.

I had been so selfish that i forgot that after this was over, Deidara still had to live this nightmare of a life.

I tried to reason that he was used to it and so it wouldn't be so bad, but i knew it was going to kill him to go back, just like this was killing me now. so i decided i would endure it, all of it. if he was brave enough, then so was i.

I think that he and i did a wonderful job of switching positions; i played the part of their older cousins fun boyfriend - i had decided that it was okay to use that term by now - and he played the part of dull, concerned older cousin who hated almost everyone and everything.

It was nice for once, to pretend to be a kid, and to actually act like one too. In my rush to grow up, i had forgotten to run around and be stupid and laugh and have fun, though i was happy that none of my cousins had missed the opportunity to embrace their inner child. their laughter was a clear sign that i had done a good enough job of raising them, they were happy and had everything they needed, i was a good guardian.

It made me happy to know all of this.

We did everything; all of those mall things which they had done together before; window shopping for things we wouldn't be able to afford until one of us got an awesome job. we got food, which Deidara insisted i pay for using his money - what, that even confused me and i was there - we stole stuff - yeah, i went and allowed my cousins to steal stuff, but i guessed it would be okay because i wasn't me and so they wouldn't get the idea that this was something they could do on a daily basis.

And then, of course, the thing i had been dreading.

The arcade.

Of course, Kankuro smelled it - yeah, he smelled it - from a mile away and decided that we absolutely had to go but that's not even the worst part.

Get ready for this, seriously it blew my mind too.

Kankuro's eyes lit up and he said, "let's go and play!" He grabbed Deidara's arm - remember at this point Deidara is still in my body - looking up at him excitedly, and said, "Come-on Deidara, we didn't get to play each other at Dance Dance Revolution!"

* * *

Sasori's two other cousins looked at Kankuro as if he'd broken some kind of pact and he looked down at his shoes, a look of shame on his face.

"Dude, what the hell!" Temari hissed, clearly the most annoyed about this.

"I just... I wanted to play arcade games," Kankuro said quietly.

Gaara sighed, "we never should've let them bring us to the mall."

Danna and I seemed to reach the exact same conclusion at the exact same time.

"You knew about this?!" Sasori asked, dropping my speech impediment and sounding completely outraged.

All three cousins nodded firmly.

"And you thought it would be a good idea to go along with it, un?" I asked, glad to be able to speak normally.

"Well yeah, that was the plan," Temari said, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Geez, did everybody know?

What the hell was wrong with these kids?

"Wait a minute," Sasori said, eyeing his cousins suspiciously, " I know how Itachi found out, but how the hell did you kids figure it out?"

Good point.

Temari laughed, the first to have any reaction at all.

"Well duh, how the hell do you think you ended up this way?" She asked.

"Witch!" I pointed at her accusingly, causing her to laugh even more.

"I'm not a witch," she said calmly.

"Then how, un?"

"And why?" Sasori added.

Temari shrugged, this time not having an answer, "for the luls?" She said, phrasing it like a question rather than as a statement.

We looked to Gaara for answers, "how the hell would I know?" He asked, "I was hiding when it happened!"

Right, and seeing ghosts in my creepy house. I still had to investigate that.

"Because you and Temari were fighting and I didn't want to go home if you were both gong to fight and be mad!" Kankuro yelled, clearly upset.

Ding, ding, ding!

It seemed we had a winner.

"This is your fault?" Sasori seethed.

This was actually starting to amuse me, because out of everybody, Kankuro was the person I least expected to have any of the answers.

"What did you do, un?"

He seemed to be even more upset about me asking that. He said, "I told you and you didn't believe me! I told you I had powers in my mind but you just ignored me!"

"Tell me your not serious," Sasori said through gritted teeth.

Okay, for the record, I had always maintained reasonable doubt that there was something weird going on in that boy's head.

"See, there you go again, trivializing my words!"

"Wow, I didn't think he'd know any big words, un," I said quietly on the sidelines.

"We've been working on it," Temari said just as quietly and outside of the main conversation.

We both stopped at the look Sasori gave us. If looks could kill I swear, the entire mall would be dead by now.

Oh hey, we were still in the mall! Oh, and it seemed we'd made a bit of a scene...

I wasn't ready to be looked at right now!

"Forget it, I don't want to be switched back! You can stay in that body and raise these three brats," Sasori concluded.

Oh no, that just wouldn't do.

Much as I wanted to stay in a place where I felt loved, I wanted to fight for my fathers love even more. I did not go through all of this just to be stopped by a damn temper tantrum!

"But Danna, in, whoever is in that body, is getting married in three weeks," I reminded him quietly, so that only he and his cousins would be able to hear, "and besides, now that I know they know its me, you don't really want me to raise your cousins do you? They'd be dead or worse within a year' un!"

He seemed to consider it for a moment, probably mainly just considering what it would mean to marry Aiko, before coming to a quick conclusion as to what should be done.

"Change us back, kid," he told Kankuro. "You can do that, right?"

Kankuro nodded, smiling because his powers were being acknowledged - before this happened to me, I probably would've leaned more towards disbelief, despite my reasonable doubt theory.

"But it won't be the same as getting you to switch."

"I swear to god, if you kids are fucking with me," Sasori left the threat hanging, not even caring that he had sworn in front of his cousins.

"Alright kid, what do you have to do un?" I asked.

"Not him, you!" Temari exclaimed gleefully, practically bursting at the seams.

Kankuro looked a little embarrassed, bursting with some for of weird happiness just like his sister, he said, "i think since the way i switched you, was verbal and not physical, well um, maybe if you were to um..." he pushed his fingers together awkwardly, either to illustrate his point or to emphasize his embarrassment, "its pretty likely that you'll be able to switch back."

What?

Did you catch any of that?

I sure as hell didn't.

Gaara scowled, a lot less excited than his older siblings, "they want you to kiss," he said plainly.

Oh.

Kankuro and Temari both nodded, the former blushing, bursting with embarrassment.

"Perverts," Sasori muttered, "you kids probably set it up this way on purpose."

"They did," Gaara said dully.

"Now I guess it's just a matter of how much you want to be in your own body!" Temari exclaimed.

Maybe she didn't understand that we were in public and maybe nether of them realised how weird it would be to kiss yourself, even if there was somebody else's consciousness inside your body.

But it would only be for a few moments.

Had I been thinking about anything besides my ultimate goal n life, would've realised that there were other people around us and that word travels fast around this town, but I wasn't and so I didn't think about any of that.

Because it seemed Sasori wanted so much more to be back in his own body; he kissed me with almost no hesitation, eyes shut tight. I heard Temari make that typical fujoshi noise, before my own eyes slipped shut and I felt myself get lost in the moment.

The kiss was soft and sweet, but I felt sparks run through me, either because of the switch or because of the bond I was sure Sasori and i shared, I couldn't tell. I couldn't move or do anything except press back but it was fine because for ow I was content to stay in this moment, maybe forever.

It reminded me of he fairy tales my mother used to tell me, where two people - usually a prince and his princess - would kiss to remove a curse, except in this situation it was two high school students, both dudes, and the curse was just being passed on - the curse being my mess of a family.

Then it was over, as quick as it had started, and I opened my eyes in my own body and I had to pretend that I was happy about it.

"It worked, un!" I exclaimed, glad to hear my own voice come out. I jumped up and down to express my happiness and to hide the fact that I was dying just a little, deep down inside.

"Of course it did, what do you take me for?" Kankuro asked. "Now can we please go inside and play Dance Dance Revolution?"

Of course, since it was my favorite game, I agreed and I kicked his butt seven times out of ten - Sasori wasn't happy that we decided to play for that long - and I was happy, until it ended and I had to drive them home and watch them go off and live their happy lives without me.

I shouldn't have gotten so used to it. Really, it was my own fault.

I parked outside their building, in one of the six poorly outlined parking spots, between a beat up old truck and a cute purple mini, which looked way out of place here.

Sasori and his three cousins had the same reaction when the noticed the car.

"Didn't you just get the letter yesterday?" Sasori asked.

"Yeah we did," Temari confirmed, "what the hell is she dong here so quickly?"

"How the hell did she get our address?" Gaara asked.

"She probably knew we'd burn the letter," Kankuro said, "I'm surprised she actually got out in a place like this."

I knew they must've been talking about their grandmother.

Sasori sighed, "alright, well you know the drill. Granny Chiyo wants to take you home with her, are you p to let her?"

"No!" They exclaimed all at once.

"Wow un, and I used to think I had a dysfunctional family."

For the first time since I had met him, Gaara laughed and he said, "you haven't seen anything yet."

* * *

**this chapter was stupid, I know, but Im really not feeling well.**

**By the way I'm thinking of slipping into Tobi's point of view in a few chapters. Thoughts?**


	22. Chapter 22

** Okay so m apologizing in advance for any unanswered questions that will probably continue to go unanswered. See I've gone so far off of my original plot, that I don't even know what I'm doing anymore, I'm just opening every possible door and hoping that one of them will lead t a way out.**

**BUT I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTION! just pm me or leave a review.**

**And remember I'm still typing on my phone, so please excuse the mistakes, I'll come back and fix them up once I get my computer.**

* * *

This was a moment i had been dreading for... well i really didn't know how long. in Novemenber i would finally be eighteen and therefore of legal age to care for these kids, but until then, without taking extreme measures, i could only really keep Temari.

Extreme measures included getting lawyers involved.

Last time that had happened, the kids had had to stay in the town's orphanage with Pein and Konan - that was probably why Temari's personality bared such a resemblance to Konan's - while i was tied up court.

We made it away last time on a technicality.

Would we be as lucky this time?

I hadn't gotten out of the car yet for fear that if i did, and if i allowed my cousins to, i would lose everything i had just gotten back.

"Should i call the lawyer?" Temari asked.

"It took forever to pay him off last time," i said, "We should just see what she wants first."

We all got out of the car - Deidara included because apparently he wanted to witness the flaws of my family first-hand - cautiously looking around for her-

"There you are, I've been looking all over for you!" it was like she had sniffed us out as soon as we got out. she looked about ready to hug us - or at least my cousins - before seeing the look of pure, unadulterated hate in my eyes.

"What, did the restraining order expire already? i could've sworn i got that renewed six months ago," i said coldly.

"I missed you too," she said, smiling as though i hadn't spoken, or at least as though i hadn't said the things i'd said. she hugged me tightly and i remembered the way Deidara had struggled to get away from his step mother. this was really the same thing, wasn't it? "let's not make this into a big thing, give me the kids and i'll get out of here," she said quietly.

I was sure that i was the only one able to hear her.

"I'll fight you for them," i challenged.

she laughed that old person laugh which sometimes made me question her sanity.

"I'm not as old and frail as i look," she said, "so any time you want to go, we'll go."

when she withdrew, she smiled with false friendliness at Deidara. it seemed just like rich people, my grandmother had two faces.

"Sasori, aren't you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?" she asked.

it was all i could do not to laugh.

My cousins didn't even try to stop themselves.

I cleared my throat and decided to go through with this, just because i found it funny.

"Chiyo, this is Iwa Deidara," i said, watching her smile fall as she realised her mistake, "Deidara, this is my obviously blind, old hag of a grandmother."

Although as far as mistaking Deidara for a girl went, i really couldn't blame her, because i had initially done the same thing. hell, i had thought he was the prettiest girl i had ever seen, though to be fair i'd never been much into girls.

Maybe it was just him...

But i digress.

Deidara offered a smile of his own, probably feeling awkward in this situation.

"Ah, your Iwa Hideki's illegitimate child," she said, "a bastard child, just like Sasori."

I scowled. i couldn't believe she was bringing that up again now of all times.

Deidara looked at me, questions in his eyes, i told hi as quietly as i could, that i would tell him all about it later.

"How does she even know about him? she doesn't even live in this town!" Gaara said. he was the only one who had any questions at this point because the rest of us knew.

"Evil is all knowing," I told him.

"Flattery will do you no good, dear," she said, "Now be a good boy and help an old woman inside. you two, grab my bags," she motioned vaguely towards Gaara and Kankuro.

"You mean she's staying?!" Kankuro asked, completely outraged.

"It seems that way, doesn't it?" Temari replied.

"You should watch your step," i told Granny Chiyo, "In a place like this, accidents happen all the time."

"I should say the same to you," she replied coldly, "You always were such a clumsy child."

"is this even normal, un?" i heard Deidara ask, as Granny Chiyo and i began our climb.

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Temari assured him.

"Neither of them have the guts to actually do anything," Kankuro confirmed.

"Unfortunately."

I could picture his face at my cousins apparent eagerness to see me throw our grandmother down the stairs.

sure in some ways it was weird, but she was by no means a good grandmother. she was sort of like Hidan's alcoholic religious fanatic parents, except that she was a born-again strict catholic with an often reoccurring drinking problem.

We barely saw her while we were growing up, only for birthday parties - and only the significant ones; 1, 5, 10, and all that - and a little more often after my aunty died. though to be fair, Granny Chiyo had shown up to the funeral drunk.

And, since i was technically born out of wed-lock, she had often refused to acknowledge my basic existence. she used to refer to me as her perfect son's one big mistake. i would've preferred the term 'accident' but whatever.

Now she thought she could do a better job raising my cousins than she had with her own children.

i knew it would only end up with them put into catholic boarding school - which my hometown Suna, was known for. they would be separated and would have all the choice sucked out of their lives. If she got her hands on them, she would put them on such short leashes, that there wouldn't be a single decision they would make by themselves.

I had only ever considered it once, because i knew it was expensive to take care of just one kid, i had no idea how i would afford three - and at the time, i was only fifteen, with this burden hanging over me. Granny Chiyo was a rich woman, but the first thing on her agenda was to get Gaara into a psyche evaluation,.

I was afraid to allow the school to force him into one, because i was afraid of what the would find.

I knew that if there was even the slightest thing wrong with him, Granny Chiyo would have him locked up in mental facilities until he was an adult.

I didn't want any of my cousins treated that way.

They wanted to stay together and with me,

That was all i wanted as well.

When we made it into the apartment, Granny Chiyo looked around, her eyes full of clear disdain.

"I keep forgetting how small this place is," she said.

"Probably because you haven't been here since Sasori won out for temporary custody the last time," Temari supplied, helpfully of course.

The laws were a little different in this town, and under special circumstances, custody could be granted to people my age, though it wasn't quite so common.

Granny Chiyo ignored her and said, "is this the life you've subjected m darling grandchildren to?" She asked, "I should have you arrested for child endangerment!"

"That would be awfully convenient, wouldn't it?"

She shrugged, "when it comes to my grandchildren, I'll take whatever victory I can get."

"I don't mean to pry," Temari said, "but just where the hell do you think your going to be staying?"

"And for how long?" I added as Kankuro and Gaara brought in her bags.

"I'll be staying here of course, until I find a judge in this stupid town willing to grant me custody," she said, "it'll probably be a tight fit but that's alright, I'll just take the bed."

"What? Where the hell do you expect us to sleep?" Kankuro exclaimed.

Granny Chiyo tsk'd' "didn't out ever think to teach these kids manners?"

"Yes, and in the event that they encounter somebody worthy of it, I'm sure they'll use the manners I taught them."

silence.

"There's a lot of hostility un here, un," Deidara said, "it kind of reminds me a lot of my own family."

"Which half?" Granny Chiyo asked harshly.

She really didn't like children like Deidara and I. She believed we should be blamed for our parents wrong doings, though I didn't necessarily think that sex before marriage was such a big deal.

Probably because I was learning from example.

"Leave him out of this," I said dully, "just because your a bitter old hag with nothing to show for your life, doesn't mean you need to pick on people you've never met before. Now, when exactly are you suing me?"

"Suing, un?" Deidara asked sort of in the background.

"For custody," Temari whispered.

"If you had bothered to read the latter I sent you, you'd know that the court date has been set a week from now."

I sighed, "great. I'll contact Hidan's lawyer immediately to set up a payment plan."

We used Hidan's lawyer for all of our disputes, since he was the only lawyer in town who dealt with family issues and allowed payment plans at the same time. It was simply one of the benefits of being friends with somebody who's family was slightly more screwed up that my own.

An alarm rang on Deidara's phone; one that I had set earlier to remind me that I had a dinner meeting with the Haruno's and a wedding planner the had hired. Apparently they had found somebody who would be able to get everything done I the span of three weeks, and as was customary, the bride's parents would be paying for the entire thing.

Thought I guessed Deidara would be better suited for picking out colors and things. He knew better then anyone what he liked and hopefully the thing - well hopefully t wouldn't happen but - wouldn't turn out to be a complete disaster.

"I have to go, un," he said, looking glad for an excuse to leave, "but uh... this has been fun, un."

Granny Chiyo rolled her eyes, "even he lies," she said.

Silly old woman, she should know by now that all rich people lie.

"I'll see you out," I said, "you kids behave, alright? Help your grandmother get settled in. God forbid she get hurt doing it herself."

"You would just love that, wouldn't you?"

"You read my mind!"

I rushed out the door quickly, pushing Deidara up ahead of me and slamming it shut. I had to get away from all that insanity, I had forgotten that it was like that! How did I ever manage to get away with the kids and my life at the same time?

"Well un, that was interesting," Deidara said as we began to climb back down. It seemed like he was choosing his words carefully but i knew exactly what he meant.

"Well, that's just a day in the life of my family," I told him, "I'm sure its nothing you haven't seen before."

He nodded, blonde hair flying everywhere as it seemed he was getting used to being back n his own body.

I was glad we were back to normal, since I much rather enjoyed looking at him than looking at myself.

"Yeah un, your grandmother kind of reminds me of my father; all high and mighty and stuff, but it's not like either of them are as perfect as they expect everyone else to be," he said, he laughed and said, "its weird un, because its kind of like fate grabbed the two people with the most messed up lives and pushed them together just for the fun of it."

I hummed in thought for a moment.

"Yeah well, if there if a greater force looking down on us and pushing us along the right track, I'm glad this is the path that was chosen for me."

Deidara laughed even more, it seemed like he had not even a single care in the world, he said, "it's so cute when Danna says stuff like that, un! Say more cute stuff!"

I blinked for a moment, confused.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't know un," he said, pausing on the third landing of the six flights of stairs we had to climb, forcing me to stop as well, close enough that it should've been uncomfortable but with him it just felt right. "Just, say whatever comes to mind, un," he said, barely more than a whisper.

Whatever comes to mind.

Whatever comes to mind.

Hell, I couldn't think of anything when we were this close, so close the I could almost feel him but there was a small, stupid space between us cutting off any actual contact.

All intelligent thought left my mind when he was looking up at me with those big blue eyes. The mischief in those eyes was covered by layers of fake innocence and I couldn't tell his true intentions.

He was pouting, bottom lip jutting out just the right amount, playing the part well of an innocent child though I didn't believe it for one moment.

Whatever comes to mind.

Right now all I could think about was...

He leaned forward just the right amount to close the miniscule gap between us, but in a way that still left us barely even touching. It seemed he had grown impatient with my lack of thought, though I didn't mind because this felt wonderfully right.

I pressed back just as lightly, trying to provoke him into something more.

This was perfect, it was like I was an old puzzle and he was the missing piece,

God that sounded gay.

Just when I felt I had the nerve to try and do something more, another alarm rang on his phone.

I had set that one to remind myself that I really, really needed to go.

He pulled away, somewhat reluctantly, "I really, really need to go, un," he breathed.

I frowned, "geez, I feel like m the other woman," I said.

"Technically Danna un,you are," he said, "but its alright, I'll break up with my girlfriend and then we can be together."

I rolled my eyes, feigning being upset, "that's what they all say."

He gave me another quick, chaste kiss and said, "this time I mean it, un."

He began making g a quick decent down the rest of the stairs, he was really late.

"Good luck!"I called out.

"You too, un!"

I stood there for a few more minutes, just watching him leave, before I had to return to my own life.

* * *

**I'm really sorry that it takes me so long to make a point. If I were on my computer, this story would be over by now, but as it is, its quite hard for me to make a good point on a tablet**.


	23. Chapter 23

**Okay so you can all rest assured that there are only a few chapters left of this (heh, that's what i said about DIRWYA) assuming that i manage to wrap everything up, which i probably won't, i really think ive dug myself into a hole with this one.**

* * *

the next week could be described in the most basic of ways, as chaotic.

a chaotic mix of going to school and getting used to my own classes and friends - Itachi figured out the switch right away again - which of course included arguments between Hidan and Kakuzu, over-enthusiasm from Konan - countered with overall unresponsiveness from Pein - as well as lecturing and evil plotting from Tobi since it seemed that he wanted to control everything and everyone around him. Then there were Itachi and Kisame, who really didn't act very different, but there was a difference, one which Tobi and Konan insisted on pointing out routinely.

I had no idea how they had ended up shipping people together, nor now they'd ended up with the exact same pairs n mind, but this just reminded me that I had no place in their little game.

It was fine though because I was content to make my own way in this world. It as what I had always done, after all and the thought of becoming Tobi's - or anybody's for that matter - puppet, was overall unappealing.

Aside form my friends, i spent a lot of time between classes, sneaking around with Deidara. it was really only three minutes between every class but it hardly took that long to stay relatively in the loop with him. he and Itachi were talking again, if only to annoy his cousin. As far as i could tell, Deidara was happy about it, even if he wouldn't expressly show it. I was glad that he was beginning to get back a bit of normalcy to his life, and he had even told me he was getting closer with Into.

Now if I could only fix his relationship with Tobi, things would be perfect.

We didn't have a lot of time to plot against his family and this stupid marriage, but i did hear a lot about the wedding. he and Allow had very similar tastes, it seemed. either that or she had simply been told to comply with what he said. But Deidara said it was boring and that he'd rather have a massive argument and end up destroying something because he couldn't get his way.

he really was such a brat.

but that was one of the things i liked most about him.

the of course, there were the meetings with my lawyer. he was pretty convinced that we had a good case. i was apparently a good boy, i had no criminal record - unlike my grandmother - perfect grades - more or less - a semi-stable job and i had already cared for these children for three years.

he was sure we could get custody under special circumstances.

until then, i had to arrange for my cousins to stay at the orphanage, since there was no room for them at home and i didn't want them to live in such conditions - or around their grandmother.

i spent as much time as possible with my cousins, thought between school, prepping for court, and tutoring my idiot boyfriend, i didn't really have any free time.

Of course Friday night was an exception. i had to show up and support Konan and Itachi, and of course Deidara - when i had asked earlier if his father would show up, he'd said he didn't care, just as long as i was there. i was thinking that he and i were making some serious progress.

I was later to the game than i would've liked, having been called home near the end of the school day to deal with an emergency which turned out to be a bust. Chiyo had been calling me out of class a lot lately with false alarms; probably because she didn't think her son's illegitimate child needed an education.

Pein was already waiting for me with the kids, when i showed up at our schools stadium halfway through the girl's team kicking ass.

"Dude, where were you?" Temari asked, moving over so i could sit between her and Kankuro.

"Dealing with your grandmother," i told her.

"when the hell is that woman leaving?" Gaara asked.

"As soon as possible."

i watched the game with mild interest, because i knew we had already won. those stupid girls from across town didn't stand a chance against us, even if a few of our players had been injured.

It was like that with the boys' team as well, since a lot of the younger kids played a few minor sports on the side. The boys' team was left without subs tonight, due to minor injuries of a few younger members. but it was going to be fine, since Deidara and Itachi were playing.

Once again, the girls won by the mercy rule, which of course was in place to keep the matches from running on too long.

"Can we go home now?" I heard Kankuro complain.

"Soon," Pein said in a non-committed tone of voice.

right, i had forgotten to ask them.

"Do you guys like living in the orphanage?"

they simultaneously nodded.

"Yeah it's cool, we get our own beds," Temari said.

"And there's a whole bunch of other kids to play with," Kankuro added.

"And no damn trains keeping me up at night," Gaara finished.

i smiled the best i could and said, "I'm glad you guys are enjoying your vacation, but once i destroy Granny Chiyo in court, you'll have to come back and live in our shithole of an apartment."

I had always felt bad that i wasn't able to give them the perfect life or the perfect place to stay, but i was happy that once in a while, they got a little break from it all.

I guess i had Chiyo to thank for that

"Guys shut up and let's watch the game!" Konan said, having already changed into her street clothes. she took a seat next to Temari, smiling at my cousins before glaring at me, "why were you late?"

i sighed, "and they," i pointed over at Hidan and Kakuzu,who had gotten here before anyone else, "were early. stranger shit has happened, so just sit down and accept it."

"i guess your right," she laughed, "but you really shouldn't be swearing in front of the children."

I shrugged, "they're in your care now, so that's not my problem."

"So we can curse and stuff now?" Kankuro asked, taking in a deep breath, presumably to shout out a swear word.

I covered his mouth automatically, to muffle the sound and said, "No."

Temari laughed and said, "you just can't switch off your mummy-mode, can you?"

"And its a good thing too," I said, owning the fact that she had basically called me a woman, "if it weren't for me, the three of you would probably be dead by now."

"Or worse, we'd be shacked up with Granny Chiyo," Kankuro said.

There was a mutual silent agreement that that was the worst possible outcome, even worse than death.

"Hey, why is everybody leaving?" Konan asked, pointing down at the field. Both of the boys teams were leaving the field in opposite directions and people were beginning to leave the bleachers.

"I don't know, maybe it's half time?" i suggested.

"You idiot, these games don't have half-time," Konan immediately reprimanded.

"Sorry folks, tonights second match has been cancelled. home team has been forced to withdraw as they are a player short. the away team wins by default," a voice rang out over the loud speaker, "we apologize for the inconvenience and ask that you all had a safe journey home."

Whatever, I would probably be walking anyway.

"What happened?" Gaara asked, clearly confused by this sudden turn of events.

"It's over kid," Pein informed him in as few words as possible.

"Did we really just lose by fucking default?!" Hidan demanded.

"That's got to be a first," Kakuzu said, a lot quieter.

"Why don't they just play on anyway? Surely one player isn't going to make a difference!" Kisame exclaimed.

"Who cares, let's just get out of here before Sasuke tracks me down," Tobi said.

We made our way out, each fighting different levels of both disappointment and relief.

I had been looking forward to watching Deidara play, but it now seemed as if that wasn't going to happen.

The parking lot and school grounds were a mess of people and trash which had been carelessly discarded, perhaps in a silent protest of our school's bogus loss.

"Oh, this could've been my chance!" Konan exclaimed as we were walking out, "They should've subbed me in!"

"That would've given the home-team an unfair advantage," Pein drawled.

"The away team were all a bunch of sissy's anyway, so it wouldn't have been hard for you to beat them," Hidan said.

"Oh, maybe you should switch schools then, you'd probably fit right in," Konan remarked cheerfully.

usually this was the part where Hidan would begin to yell over the fact that he had basically been called or compared to, a girl, but this time he said nothing.

i noticed Tobi and Konan non-discreetly whisper something between them, before laughing about it, like a pair of gossiping little girls.

we were basically just standing around in the parking lot for a few more moments, before Tobi exclaimed, "Fucking hell he found me. make yourselves damn useful and hide me."

of course it was too late by then, since Sasuke had already spotted us and raced over to his older cousin, Itachi trailing slowly behind.

"Tobi! Tobi! father said it's alright if i drive home with you tonight!"

"Geez kid, wouldn't you rather spend time with your own family?" Tobi groaned.

"No!" Was the response he received.

under his breath I heard Tobi hiss, "kid must think I'm a fucking chauffeur."

" What happened?" Kisame was the first to address Itachi, "why'd you guys have to stop?"

Itachi sighed, as if speaking right now would be such a strenuous task. i could barely hear what he said, over the increasingly loud noise filling up the space around us.

"Deidara was unable to play," he said.

"What, what happened?" i asked so fast that i forgot i was in Tobi's presence and that meant i wasn't supposed to care about Deidara at all. "he seemed fine when i saw him after school!"

"there was nothing wrong with him per se. we were getting ready to play when his father showed up, he seemed pretty pissed off about something and he dragged Deidara out of the building without even giving him a chance to change. nobody really questioned it so we just went out a guy short," Itachi explained.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Konan demanded, "I could've cross dressed and taken his place!"

"Cross dressed," Tobi mused, "no I don't think that would've been necessary. He looks pretty much just like a girl anyway."

Just Tobi being Tobi, I reminded myself. Had it been anybody else insulting Deidara, I probably would've gotten angry, but I knew they had sort of a history together, s it was justified.

"It was really quite short notice," Itachi reasoned, "Though perhaps you can cross-dress and take part in the next game, if we don't manage to find a suitable replacement."

"Replacement?" Konan repeated, "what happened, did his father pull him off of the team?"

Itachi looked at me solemnly and I knew I didn't want to hear what was coming next.

"Worse," he said, "Deidara has been pulled out of school."

* * *

**once again i am basically opening every door available to me.**

**So, if there is anything in particular that anybody wants cleared up, or any door anybody wants closed, mention it in a review and i will do my best to sort it the hell out before i finish up this story. **


	24. Chapter 24

**So in the previous chapter, i just made a bigger mess of everything, but im sure i'll be able to fix it.**

**unfortunately i wont be able to post anything tomorrow. i will be going to work an hour after i finish school and i wont come home until late. but updates will continue normally after that.**

* * *

"Who the hell cares?" Tobi asked. he was definitely getting annoyed, at the conversation topic, my level of interest and at the ten year old clinging to him.

i wanted to say that i cared, but i knew i was already in enough trouble as it was, and it seemed everyone else was already interested enough to ask all the important questions for me.

"Will he be attending another school?" Konan asked.

"Im not sure," Itachi replied. it was like he was our personal information box.

"They can't just pull hi out of school like that, can they?" Temari asked.

He's sixteen, so technically they can."

"But if he's sixteen, doesn't that make him old enough to make these decisions for himself?" a confused Kisame asked.

"He's more interested in what his father thinks of him, than getting an education," Itachi explained. i knew he was only answering the questions for my benefit.

"So what'll he do now? like, get a job or something?" Kankuro asked. i hadn't thought that Kankuro was listening or even understood what we were talking about.

"Im not sure. he'll be getting married in two weeks unless something happens to stop the wedding," he looked pointedly at me, and said, "but beyond that, we'll simply have to wait and see what happens."

"Why do any of you care?!" Tobi growled, "You don't even know him, he's nothing to you!" he looked pointedly at me when he said, "And you are nothing to him! the only people you should be concerned about, are the ones right here."

we were all quiet for a moment, like children who have just been told off by angry mothers, before Hidan muttered, "Fucking rich people."

Of course Tobi was in a state where it didn't matter how loud or quiet you spoke, he would still hear you.

"Excuse me?" he said, the look in his eyes screamed murder.

"all you fucking rich people! when your not busy trying to screw each other over, your trying to control the damn world!" Hidan exclaimed, he looked close to blowing a fuse, "It's enough that you have more money and better stuff than the rest of us, but we aren't your toys! don't treat us like your puppets!"

where the hell had that come from?

Obviously there was something i was missing here, something that had happened when i wasn't around.

we were all silent again, this time in shock - and also in memory of Hidan, who would soon be our dearly departed young friend.

No matter what, none of us ever yelled at Tobi, not even Hidan. this was really a first, brand new territory for us.

Just as it looked as though Tobi was getting ready to strike back, either with his words or otherwise, Kakuzu stepped in.

"I think that's our cue to leave," he said, pushing Hidan away from the conflict he had started and casually hiding him from Tobi's line of sight, "come-on idiot, your probably needed at home to peel your father off the lawn."

It looked as though Hidan was about to argue, before he seemed to lose interest and just said, "yeah, the fucker probably locked himself out again.

was it just me or did the world suddenly seem to be backwards?

Hidan going off at Tobi instead of his arch nemesis?

And what was more, Kakuzu had actually gone out of his way to stop whatever punishment Hidan had provoked.

Didn't either of them realise that they were playing right into Tobi's hand?

Maybe that was what the argument had been about.

Or maybe neither of them realised it at all. really, they weren't the brightest of the bunch - well at least Hidan wasn't.

When they were gone, it left us with two cars and ten people, not including Tobi's driver.

"Alright, how are we going to do this?" Itachi asked.

"None of you bastards are driving with me," Tobi said.

"Be nice," Itachi immediately reprimanded, "you of all people should know how dangerous the streets of Konoha are at night."

"Shut up," Tobi demanded with a scowl, "Fine, Konan can come with me. nobody else."

we still had a space problem.

"it's fine, i'll walk," i said.

"But you live the furthest away!" Temari protested.

"I'll be fine," I assured her.

That left room for my cousins to drive with Itachi and Kisame, and for Pein and Konan to ride with Tobi in his little car of negativity.

By then most of the other people were gone. It was dark and quiet and beyond the sounds of my friends and family leaving me here, I could barely hear much else.

It was a cloudly night, it was going to rain soon and so I hoped I would be able to catch a bus before they stopped running.

"Quit behaving like a child," I heard a familiar voice growl over the increasingly loud sound of the wind.

"Your the he behaving like a kid, un! I didn't do anything wrong, I followed all your stupid rules and everything!"

"Did you?" Hideki asked, "now I'm simply doing you a favor by removing all of your distractions."

"I don't need your help, un!"

I watched the scene unfold in front in front of me, Deidara and his father were leaving the school building through one of the side doors. They had probably been meeting with the principle - who would've stuck around to watch the games - in order to withdraw Deidara from school.

I was shocked though, when I heard Deidara yell at his father. That was something I never thought I would see.

"If not then leave! I never asked for you to be born and I sure as hell didn't ask form you to come into my life. Your the one who wanted me! So if you no longer wan my help then you can stay here and rot!"

Deidara stood helpless for a moment and both he and I watched as his father got in a car and drove off.

However, the damage had spread been done. He had been taken out of school and now had no choice but to depend on her father.

I felt the first few drops of rain, and somewhere in the distance I was sure I heard the last bus drive off without me.

He and I were virtually alone now and the atmosphere seemed just as dark as the cloudy night sky.

"What the hell was that?" I was feeling afraid and so I I didn't bother being polite about it.

"I don't now un! He just came in there yelling about something, I didn't really get it, but he dragged me off and now I can't go back to school," Deidara spoke before he even looked at me, either because he recognised my voice or because he wax for upset to care.

"Well do you at least know why?"

It was a stupid question, Kew it.

'No, un," he looked up at me now.

This wasn't Deidara, knew it instantly. This wasn't the Deidara I knew, not the spontaneous, idiotic, reckless kid who had been to hell and came back surely just to spite his father.

He was more upset than I has ever seen him, but then Itachi had warned me that Deidara didn't take too well to being told off by his father.

He had been through and seen all of those horrible things, and yet being yelled at b his father still mace him feel weak and small. I could understand - thought barely - why though. Because he had spent a good portion of his life working towards something that had just come crashing down around him and would continue to crash and break and fall until he found a way to make his father proud.

I would've thought Deidara would be used to disappointment by now, but really he was just a kid at heart.

"Don't worry so much about him," I said. I didn't now what else to say.

The rain was pouring down n us heavily now, puddles were beginning to form at our feet and I felt a chill run through my body. That all seemed to melt away when he embraced me, burying his face n my shoulder.

"I don't think I've ever been this frustrated, un," he said, "I thought I was making progress with him! Was doing well in school un, I did all that stupid socializing stuff, I've been staying relatively out of trouble and I've even been trying my hardest with this damn wedding, but its still not enough!"

The wedding.

He was using that as a way to get closer to his father?

Felt m stomach sink.

I knew he would no doubt give up Aiko for me, hell he had never even liked her to begin with, but there was now a in hell he would give up a chance to make his father proud. If it meant getting rid of me, I knew he would do it n a heartbeat.

"You shouldn't care so much about that," I spoke through the fear weighing down in my stomach, "he doesn't deserve a son like you."

He laughed lightly, his body shaking slightly in my arms, he looked up at me, a smile on his face.

"That's funny Danna un," he said.

"I wasn't trying to be funny brat," I muttered, but he probably didn't hear me over the rain.

"Alright un, I think I can do this!" He declared, he kissed me abruptly with all the enthusiasm of a young teen who had just discovered such a thing could be done, and i was again filled momentarily with that electric feeling until he pulled apart and said, "thanks for making me feel better un!"

"Uh... no problem," I said, collecting my thoughts for a moment.

He grabbed my hand and said, "come-on un, I'll drive you home."

I did as I was told and we were soon zooming across the wet roads. He seemed to be talking to himself quietly and so I didn't San anything to distract him. I. We he was probably forming a game plan of how to deal with his father, which was an important thing so I left him alone.

When he parked outside my apartment building, I said, "so when are we going t see each other again?"

He stopped to think for a moment before saying, "I don't know... but we'll work something promise un!"

Deciding that for now, that was good enough, I gave a chaste goodbye kiss before rushing inside, hoping of t get an wetter and hoping I didn't slip on the steps.

Granny Chiyo was still up when I got inside, sitting on my bed and watching television.

"Mail came while you were out," she said.

Weird, mail didn't usually come at this time of the day.

There was a single envelope and I tore it open, I to see something I really didn't want right now.

"What visit?" She asked, still of looking back. She was just as nosy as Temari, sometimes.

"An invitation to an engagement party at the Iwa's," I said. I didn't quite know what to think or feel about it, knowing that right now, Deidara was in a very desperate place.

"I didn't know you were associated wit the Iowa's," she said, as if she hadn't met Deidara a few days ago, "they're snaky little liars those Iwa's," she said.

I know.

Really, I know.

* * *

I sat in my car, recovering from what my father had said.

he was really a tough guy to crack, but i knew with a little more persistence, i would get him

i felt so nervous as i withdrew my cellphone and dialed his number. i was afraid of him rejecting me again, i was afraid of never being good enough.

really i was just a child at heart, seeking acceptance from my last living relative.

he picked up on the third ring, i listened to his disgruntled greeting.

"I'm ready to apologise, un," i said. we had been through this so many times before, though it was usually when i was put into prison. you know, the good old days.

i listened to what he was saying, this would ultimately be the thing which allowed me back where i had been just before. whatever father said right now, went and couldn't be disobeyed.

but i was certain i wouldn't be able to do that!

"But-"

i was cut off before i could really say anything.

i listened to him speak.

if i did this, he said, if i did this he would respect me, he would be proud of my strength and of my willingness to keep our families good name.

that was all i had ever wanted really... all i used to want, but now...

i wasn't even going to try pretending i didn't still want my father's love.

"Fine un, if that's what you want, consider it done."

* * *

**i know that last scene seems a little hard to figure out, but i just couldnt think of a way to have his father actually speak, without you all knowing what he was speaking about, so bear with it please! **


	25. Chapter 25

** As promised, the latest installment of my increasingly stupid story.**

**On a side note, please, stop mentioning my errors. I know they are there, I will fix them once I get my computer back. I die a little inside each time anybody says a thing.**

**SO BEAR WITH IT! **

**And quit making me yell like that, it reminds me of somebody I don't like very much.**

**I'm sill feeling quite sad, so I apologise for the late update.**

* * *

I was allowed back into my home, but at what cost?

You could probably say that at this point I had pretty much sold everything that made me feel... real.

I'd given u all of the poor people things which I loved; arcade games, outlet stores, malls, fast food and buying stuff off of the back of a truck.

I had given up any sense of civil pride I had ever had to this cause, which I had been told so many times before was a hopeless one. I had given up school barely an hour ago, even if I hated it all anyway it was still a huge loss if I was never put into another school, though I was fairly certain that my father didn't want to see me grow up to be a drop out.

I had even often considered giving up my right to choose a bride - because in the world I lived in it didn't matter that I wanted to marry a man (or to be somebody's bride, as my mother would've said.)

I was considering it right now.

Aiko wasn't too bad, was she?

It would get me the one thing I had been wanting ever since I was old enough to know a baby comes from both a woman AND a man.

Marriage meant I would have to have kids.

I was the oldest - and only - son of the Iwa family and I stood to inherit everything because of a drunken mistake.

My kids would inherit everything.

I would likely become a bitter old man, out to get my kids because I wasn't given the ideal opportunities when I was younger.

Basically if I didn't make the right decision now, a bunch of kids I didn't even want -

No, I wasn't like my father!

I would never allow myself to become that way!

But how can I be so disgusted with a man I so admire?

At that point there was only one thought zooming through my mind.

I'm scared.

And as we all know, I'm a firebug. When I get scared I -

"Deidara, can I come in?" Ino's voice floated through the door and into the swirling torrent of misery which had taken the form of my bedroom.

I was still getting used to her using my real name. Danna had done something while in my body and things were so different now.

"Yeah un, come in."

Having been granted permission, Ino entered the room tentatively.

"Hey," she said meekly. I had never known her to be that way before. "I heard about what happened."

Of course she had, why else would she be here.

"I was just thinking it all over when you decided to stop by, un," I said quietly. I hadn't even thought of looking up at her, lest she see the utter defeat in her big brother's eyes.

She looked up to me - like, apparently anyway - and she didn't need to now just yet that even her strong, brave big brother can be broken down from a ten foot tall wall, to a single chipped brick.

She didn't need to know.

"Do you know what choice you'll make?" She asked.

with a sigh I told her I had already promised two different courses of action to two different people.

"So then you go for the first one, right? A promise is a promise and we have to honor our words!"

"But un, we have to consider that blood is thicker than water."

"And plastic is thicker than paper," she said, "but that doesn't mean I should fold plastic into origami."

"What does that even mean, un?"

"It means that once you and Aiko are married, father will be sending both of you away."

"Wait a minute un, away where?"

I had made sure that no school abroad should want to take me in, and I wasn't even a junior in high school.

Father just wanted to get rid of me?

Ino looked around the room carefully and I remembered that the walls have ears.

"I heard mum and dad talking an well... when you get married, you'll have to sign a contract stuffed in with your marriage papers which says -"

"Ino! Come down here please!"

Our fathers voice filled the room and probably the whole top half of the house.

Ino never got to finish her sentence and for the rest of the weekend, she was too busy to be able to speak with me.

But whatever she had been about to say, didn't put a single doubt in my mind because I had already made my decision.

I lay awake in bed Sunday night just thinking about the people I was going to upset with this choice.

I was left only to wonder whether anything in my life up to this point, had ever been worth it.

* * *

I didn't realise it right away, but Deidara being forced to leave school, meant that I had no job, and no job meant I had no way to support my family, which ultimately meant my court case went from a definite winner, to a complete dud.

I was going to lose my cousins because of this, I knew it.

I met again with my lawyer on Saturday, right before I had to pick my cousins up so we could head to Deidara's house - I couldn't fathom any reason why we has been invited but it would be rude not to turn up. We had also been invited to the wedding next week, though I already had plans that day to sit at a table in the school gym and watch happy couples be happy together in the highschool dance atmosphere. I could only hope that Deidara was there with me instead of standing at an alter waiting to seal his own fate.

"You no longer have a job?" My lawyer asked. He seemed thoroughly annoyed at this point.

"I lost it on Friday. It won't take me long to find a new one," I told him.

"And in the event that you don't?" He asked. I didn't answer because I knew it was rhetorical. "I have no problem taking a case like this, even if there's no guarantee that I'll get fully paid back, but right now it isn't looking very likely that you'll be able to support your family any longer. I know you and your cousins are very close, but I wouldn't feel right if you were awarded custody and were unable to provide any type of life."

"So what are you saying?" The words came out even though I knew what he was saying.

"I'm not going to go through with this case," he said.

Now this was Hidan's lawyer and if he was nice enough to deal with Hidan, he was definitely nice enough to know that this was the wrong decision to make. It was one that would only hurt the people involved.

"I can't abandon my cousins like this! Do you have any idea what that will do to them?" I said.

"They've got a wealthy, loving grandmother willing to take care of them," he told me, looking as though he wanted to choke on his own words.

"You defended me last year! You of all other people should know that that isn't true!"

He looked away guiltily.

"Can't you just fight for a continuance or something? Give me two weeks and I can find another good job."

"Usually I would agree, but word has been travelling fast about you and its likely that you won't ever be able to find work in this town again."

Word?

"What do you mean, what have people been saying about me?"

By now, he was getting ready to leave, having no business left here, he said, "it appears that you have made an enemy out if Iwa Hideki."

* * *

I had to say goodbye to my cousins.

They would cry and then i would probably cry as well.

Temari would more than likely attack me and call me a liar and they'd all accuse me of abandoning them.

I could see it now.

Temari would scream, "if you hadn't taken us in n the first place, this wouldn't be happening! You shouldn't have tried to care for us all by yourself!"

And Kankuro would add, "I can't believe your letting that old witch take us!"

And Gaara would be pushed out to play the guilt card but he would only stand there and look at me with sad green eyes, silently begging me not to go.

That would be my undoing.

I would crumble and there would be nothing that I could do!

What did they expect me to do anyway?

I couldn't move to a new town and take them with me! Not to Iwa - coincidentally where both halves of Deidara's family had come from - since we would end up in only the same situation as Deidara had been in. I couldn't take them to kiri because it was too damn cold and not to Sauna because that was where Chiyo was already taking them and where we had all used to live before their father moved us and abandoned us here in Konaha.

Wow when you really think about it, our luck really sucks doesn't it?

Now we couldn't go to Ame, since both Pein and Konan were refugees from there and according to them, Ame was a hellhole (depending when you asked them) and we couldn't go to Taki since their schooling system sucked. That really only left Yuga as a main choice but none of us wanted to liven a tourist town.

Konaha was the my place that could sustained us and now, that was no longer an option.

I wouldn't tell them though. No until the last minute.

I wouldn't want t spoil their night with the news that we ma never see each other again.

This would be the last time the four of us were together smiling and laughing and thinking that maybe things were going to be alright.

but they weren't.

They just weren't.

I had been forced to borrow clothes from itachi; nice rich people clothes which were annoying to wear or to even look at. But Itachi had insisted, since a lot of Hideki's important rich people friends were going to be there, giving gifts to the happy couple - Itachi had also said most of them and even his own father were shocked that Hideki had finally found somebody to marry that mess of a boy.

Itachi said that when Deidara was married, along with a bunch of papers he was going to be signing - apparently standard rich people procedure - he would also be made to sign a paper which dissolved all and any rights he had as the first born son of the Iwa family, and any legal tie and obligations. It was basically Hideki's way of disowning his child.

Deidara and Aiko were to be sent away, the Haruno's and their daughter were to be given a large sum of money and Deidara would never be able to see his family again.

I had never hated rich people more, than in that single moment.

Itachi drove me to the orphanage. His entire family, as well as Kisame - who had become quite popular in their separate little world - were all attending.

When I entered the orphanage I realised that pretty soon, this would be my only choice of a home.

"Aw, you look just like one of them!" Konan exclaimed when she saw me. She ruffled my already messy hair and hugged me tight.

Her and her psycho mummy complex.

When I didn't as anything or even try to get away, she loo,end a me seriously and said, "uh oh, what's wrong?"

Now I had a choice; I could either tell her my problem and listen to her unhelpful solutions, or I could wallow in self pity for approximately the rest of my life.

Hmm... forever was starting to look pretty good right about now.

"Nothing,"I lied.

She smiled sadly, because she knew there was something really bothering me, but she didn't poke at it.

"Well you look nice," she said, her smile falling, "your cousins are through here. I had them borrow some clothes from some of the other kids their age. The four of you could be just like a family of them, a least with the way you all look."

Yeah, tonight we could pretend.

It would be wonderful, for just one night, to pretend that the world wasn't trying to systematically screw me over.

When my cousins came out, could instantly tell that they were uncomfortable.

Temari had worn dresses before, but usually they weren't so... well at this point it was finally clear to me that Temari was actually a girl - how I had managed to not notice that for this long, was far beyond me.

As for Gaara and Kankuro, they were the epitome of stiff and awkward. It was like they didn't know how to stand.

Temari seemed to have gotten the hang of how to stand, but it seemed she couldn't stop adjusting her dress.

"Can't I wear shorts or something?" She asked, in a way that seemed unfamiliar and wasn't as demanding as her usual tone.

"No, you look perfect!" Konan exclaimed . "Boys stand up straight, it's never going to work if you relax like that."

"Aren't clothes supposed to be comfortable?" Kankuro asked.

"Yeah' for poor people," Konan said, "do you want to be poor for the rest of your life?"

"If it means I can wear sweats for the rest of my life, then yes," Gaara said.

"Too bad. The three of you are going to be Konaha's biggest success story, I can already see it, everybody will wish they had shit parents and an idiot caregiver once they see how awesomely you turned out!" Konan exclaimed, oozing enthusiasm.

Yeah, that might be the case if they were going to be staying in Konaha.

"You kids ready to go?" I asked.

It was like they were noticing me for the first time.

"Sasori looks just like one," I heard Temari say. She received a murmur of general agreement. "I think when you and Deidara get married, you'll surely suit being a rich man's wife," she said.

I didn't know what to take from that.

Firstly if anything, he would be my wife.

Secondly, I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a part of that backstabbing community.

Thirdly, I didn't even now if I wanted to marry Deidara... or at least if he wanted to marry me.

This was insane.

"Shut up and get in the car," I said.

"You sound like a paedophile," Gaara commented.

How he even knew that word was beyond me.

The three of the rushed out, perhaps excited to get another chance at playing make believe.

Perhaps still under the impression that the word was fair and kind and just.

But it wasn't.

"Have they been okay?" I asked Konan.

" They've been wonderful! I wish I could have them live here with me all year round!"

I wish as well, but the only way that was going to happen was if Chiyo were to suddenly die.

We all piled into Itachi's small car. It was only supposed to seat five people but the unspoken rule was that if you could fit six, then why the hell not?

We spent the drive making small conversations, not the awkward type, but the kinds that seemed to die down quickly when one person. - in this case me - had nothing to really say. Eventually I withdrew myself from everything and watched my cousins laugh and joke around as if I wasn't there.

I could only really hope that it would be the same when I truly could no longer be there for them.

* * *

**So, so, so sorry to have made all my lovely readers wait!**

**I have finally sought help for my overwhelming sadness and am now on pills which help me to sleep. They'll probably also put me on antidepressants when my blood tests come back in two weeks...**

**Anyway. Wanted to have this done sooner rather than later, but between work and homework - which I haven't completed yet - there was simply no time. **


	26. Chapter 26

**So, hopefully I'll get this written and posted today...**

**I had my blood tests this morning, I had to get up and wait for it to open so I wouldn't be late for school...**

**Usually I would have the whole chapter written out in a book by the end of the day for me to type but I've been working on the next story I plan to post, during the day so... you can all look forward to that!**

**Unless your all done with me, that is...**

* * *

i realised that i wasn't the only one with a tough path ahead of me.

Deidara had a terrible choice to make and i was hoping, against any form of rationality that i had left, that he would choose me.

what the hell had i become?

why couldn't i just not care about it anymore? why did i have to care about him?

what was it about Deidara that made me - and a lot of people around him - get so crazy?

whatever it was, i felt my stomach knotting up when Itachi parked in the Iwa's ridiculously large driveway, and told us all to get out.

"Nervous?" Temari asked.

it broke my heart to look at her and to know that this would be one of the last times i would ever see that smile.

"It'll be okay," she said, offering me her hand, "i promise."

if i had a dollar for every promise i had ever broken...

But Temari wasn't me, she didn't break her promises so easily. i trusted her, and so i took her hand, if only to see that smile widen just a small bit.

"Look at me, i'm almost a grown man and i still need you to get me through these things," i said quietly, and not with as much enthusiasm as i usually would.

"you'll always be just a little boy to me," she said.

"Weird, since you're the one i'll always want to never have grown up."

it was true that when i looked at my cousins, i could no longer see the people they had once been.

i couldn't see the rough little girl Temari had been; the king of the playground type kid she had been, who got rough with anyone and everyone in her way.

I couldn't see Kankuro anymore, as an idiot child who fell frequently on his face and bawled his eyes out on every possible occasion.

and i couldn't see Gaara anymore, a scared, lonely child always sitting away from everybody else.

i just couldn't see it.

even if they had retained many of the same traits, my cousins had grown up a great deal since i met them and they were better for it.

they were stronger, braver, and no matter how co-dependant they seemed, i knew they could get through life on their own.

now it was only a matter of whether i could do the same.

when we were let into the house, claustrophobia was the first initial thing i found myself feeling.

there was entirely too many people in the room for me to feel at all comfortable. all of them were nicely dressed, standing around and talking with each other, like it was a big high school reunion or something of the sort. they all seemed to know each other and i seemed not to know anybody.

"is it time to regret coming now?" i asked out loud.

"don't be a prude!" Kisame said, his voice painfully loud and yet i was the only one who seemed to notice at all. "these people are great! well some of the anyway... enjoy your time on the other side of town dude, this is as close as we're ever going to get."

somewhere along the line, i had forgotten that one day, Kisame might find himself in a very similar situation, unless Itachi's parents really take a liking to him and decide against arranging a proper marriage for their oldest son.

Itachi and Kisame left my side quickly, probably to go and spend quality time with rich people. i knew it was essential for Itachi to keep up appearances and to keep his family name on the tips of everybody's tongues, though it was probably also a good idea to get them all used to Kisame so it would be easier for him to stick around in this world.

My cousins also quickly decided to flee, probably looking for food and for new people to talk with, i knew as a whole that they liked new experiences and socializing with new people.

it was when they were alone that they didn't really do so well.

then it was just me, in a pool of drab, uninteresting black suits, and bright vibrant dresses, each woman clearly trying to out do the next. i knew parties like this were only really for women to show how great they looked and for men to stand idly by and make small talk with people they didn't really like.

The world of a rich man was one that i would never really understand.

i was about to wander into the next room, in search of Deidara or maybe another familiar face, before i chanced a small glance towards the stairs.

most of that space was empty of people, except the very top where a blue eyed blonde stood staring down at the crowd, a distasteful scowl marring his perfect features, until the stunning azure blue of his eyes, met my own dull brown.

he smiled tentatively at me, though it was sad and there was bitterness held in his eyes.

i began immediately, to regret coming here.

the knot in my stomach grew heavier, it grew tighter, i was going to be sick.

he beckoned for me to follow him, before disappearing down one of the upstairs hall.

despite my - probably irrational - fear, i really wanted to see him and to hear his voice and his annoying impediment, so i pushed through the crowd and made my way upstairs, knowing exactly where i was going.

when i entered the annoyingly blue room, Deidara was waiting for me, dressed similarly to me, though the shirt he wore was a light blue and my own was a deep red. it looked a lot better on him though.

apparently anything either of us had to say, could wait. as soon as i entered the room, he kissed me - god how awkward would it have been if it wasn't me? this wasn't the same as before, not the perfect, right kisses we had shared before, the ones which made me feel as though we were the only two people in the world. this was desperate and as though the entire world was coming down on us, i felt his hands bunching up my shirt, tightly gripping me as if i were about to slip away. he had me up against a wall, body pressed tightly against mine, tongue attempting to invade my mouth.

i knew he had made his decision and i knew exactly what he had decided.

i knew that the world was indeed attempting to systematically screw me over.

i knew this would be the last time.

i allowed myself to kiss back, a hand to tangle in golden locks of hair, and another to reach up and brush away tears i knew were falling. by now he was sobbing, body shaking, in as worse a state as i had ever seen him.

but i didn't mind.

he was still perfect to me, even when he was about to walk away.

"i'm sorry," he said when we pulled apart. he was a mess, eyes red, face flushed, hiccuping to try and contain his crying, " i'm so, so sorry un."

i held him against me, rubbing his back, trying to calm him down," i know," i said, "it's alright. just stop crying. This isn't you, your stronger than that."

Even when it was my own heart that was breaking, I still felt as though I should comfort him, make sure he was alright, ready to fight another day. At this point, my own life was basically over, and i had nothing left to fight for, but the hardest part of his own life was just about to begin.

He needed it all, all of the strength and love that I had left to give, when there were only a few fleeting moments left to give it.

"I never deserved you un," he managed to choke out. Those words were a lie, a dirty lie and it hurt me for him to say such a thing. "I've become everything that I hate, I've become a liar, a cheat, an awful person, un. If my mother were alive she wouldn't recognise me, I've changed myself to fit into what they want me to be. I don't even remember my own dreams."

"Your not an awful person," I said, lower then a whisper, I knew he heard me, "we just I've in an awful world. Its not your fault. And I'm happy, I'm happy that you'll finally get your wish."

Even if of wasn't really true, why not say it anyway?

"You should get back down there, before people begin to wonder where you've gone," I said, before he cold say anything else which would only make things so much worse, "it's your party after all, isn't it?"

He nodded, wiping his eyes. People wold notice, but the wouldn't say a thing.

"Am i going to see you again, before the wedding, un?" He asked.

The look on his face was he of pure hope, it was torture for me to even consider my answer, but it was best to do these things quickly.

"No, don't think that would be a good idea," i said, keeping my voice cold and detached, "I have to find my cousins now. We've out-stayed out welcome in this world."

* * *

That night I had to say goodbye to the only person I had liked in more than just a platonic way.

I was certain that I would never care about another person the way I cared about Deidara, but it was more important for him to make his own choices and to be happy with them, then it was for me to be happy with what he decided to do.

Then, the next day, I had to say goodbye to my cousins, the only three people I had ever let myself get completely attached to.

It was possibly the worst thing i had ever been through. They cried, I cried, Temari tried to kill me and take herself as well.

It was a sickeningly painful farewell at the train station, after a full day of tears, begging and of asking why.

Why is this happening?

Why aren't you fighting for us?

Why are you letting her take us?

Why don't you love us anymore?

So many questions I couldn't answer, so many why's, what's and how's.

Then when I had to watch that train start up and begin to move, when I had to watch it drive on and fade into the distance, I finally felt myself begin to break.


	27. Chapter 27

**Its a shame that none of you will ever know the beauty of my country, or the tragic conditions under which my ancestors fought, tough I learned a little bit about myself today and so I'm happy.**

**For now**.

* * *

had i made the right decision?

on one hand, i had gotten rid of the only person - excluding the Uchiha's of course - who had ever really liked me for what i really was.

on the other hand, my father was finally smiling at me.

"I made my choice, un," the words left my mouth broken and defeated. i had won the battle but lost my soul in the process.

a smile.

wonderful and rewarding in all it's fleeting glory.

"i'm proud of you son," the words i had waited for only my entire life to hear, "i hope you know i'm only doing this to protect you; there would be no future for you if i allowed you to marry a man. i'm only trying to give you the best life possible.

i nodded.

"i understand, un."

I left the office.

Now tell me, at which point does a lie become your entire life?

* * *

knock, knock.

i thought about asking who was there, but considering that the only people i wanted to see at my door at midnight Monday were either dead or at current odds with me - the meaning of odds here, could range from having been completely betrayed and pushed aside in favor of a girl i didn't even like, to having a complete and utter disgust for the way i choose to live my life, always focussing on what my father thought of me - therefore these people were only truly accessible in my dreams.

since the party - where i had received a whole lot of free stuff from people i didn't even know - i had been rushed around every hour to different places, i had tasted about a hundred different cakes, had my clothes fitted at least twenty-seven times - like what, did my size really change so quick? i had been forced to pick a band from samples i had never heard of before, chosen colors which really were bound to clash, and picked a venue for an event i was dreading.

hey, i really was well suited for this rich guy thing, wasn't i?

i already had the whole ' hating it but still doing it' thing down to a brilliant fucking science.

but really, i digress.

"Come in, un," it was a statement void of any emotion.

the door opened, letting in a yellowish artificial light from the hall, to counter the glow of thousands of stars seen from my skylight.

my step-mother Kimiko stood there in her plain night shirt, silhouetted in my doorway by the mass of clashing light.

"Hey," she said in a casual way she usually wouldn't use to speak with anybody. her sweet voice was so different from my real mother, and yet it held a stronger place in my more vivid memories and refused to be forgotten so easily, "i wanted to talk with you."

she entered my room without exact permission, flipping on the light to try and get a better view of what she was in for.

i hadn't spent much time in my room lately, hell i hadn't even had time to sit around and read a damn book. consequently, my room was currently in immaculate condition, most of my things had been packed by the maids, ready for me to move out and start my new life away from this hell hole and into a brand new one.

Kimiko looked around, her eyes scanning the shelves and growing sadder as she went.

"there are a lot of pictures of her here," she said, not even bothering to say her name.

i shrugged, not caring that the presence of the few unpacked pictures upset her, "she's my mother after all, un," i said.

not was, she is and always will be.

there was no way Kimiko could ever be an adequate replacement.

"i understand," she said, though there was something in her eyes that said otherwise. she took a seat on the edge of my made-up bed, which i hadn't slept on much since i left school. she faced me where i was sitting on a bubble wrapped desk chair. "you know, i was once in your position too," she said.

i rolled my eyes, not making any attempt to hide my disgust in the situation, "so this is the part where you inform me that i'm a good boy and I've done the right thing, un?" i asked bitterly, "I've already been told, so you might as well leave me alone, un."

Kimiko smiled sadly, her pale blue eyes tearing up for a few seconds before she gathered her thoughts and held onto what was left of her usual composure.

"no," she said, "i'm here to tell you that getting your fathers approval isn't the most important thing in the world."

i felt like hissing 'Blasphemy' and telling her to get out.

Kimiko had never been the type of woman to speak up against anything my father - or anyone else - said or to stand up for herself. she was a typical example of a rich mans wife; quiet and reserved and afraid to do anything except wat she was told.

she was everything Aiko stood to become, if i happened to be feeling bitter for the rest of my life.

"How can you say that, un? right here and right now? how can you even say it at all?" but despite my wish to remain silent, it seemed that my mouth had other ideas. "don't you know that i have been working towards this goal for the majority of my life?to come in here like this un, when i'm so close... what the hell is wrong with you?"

she barely reacted to my yelling, and in fat acting as though nothing had happened.

when i was finished, she said, "i have watched you destroy yourself for six full years. i wanted you to be happy, i knew your story and everything and as a mother - not yours, just as a mother - i felt i had to protect what had been preserved in you, i had to protect the happy, hopeful little child that had been sent to us. i wanted you to be happy, but i couldn't figure it out. the only thing you really wanted was the one thing that seemed impossibly out of reach. but then this year, you started coming home smiling, and you weren't so angry all the time anymore, even when dealing with me or with Ino," she smiled at me, tears in her eyes, i knew everything she was saying was real and true and heartfelt, and it hurt me to know i had ignored this all for so long but i kept a straight, cold face, "you won't be happy if you go through with this, take it from somebody who has been down the exact same road. i want you to be happy Deidara, so promise me you'll think about it."

i scowled.

who the hell did she think she was?

she had no right to come in here right now and...

and...

dammit, i was about to cry.

angry tears.

i was angry, not sad, not regretful, not any of those emotions that would mean i was actually listening.

i was pissed!

yeah.

"you don't know anything, un! you think you understand what's going on, but you never will! just keep out of my life!"

i hadn't meant to yell, but she took it in stride anyway.

"I understand," she said.

she left the room.

the words had fallen off of her tongue like a well rehearsed line.

it was the same lie i had practised telling myself almost every day.

i let my head fall to the bubble wrapped top of my desk as i realised that the same lie i had always told, had become Kimiko's life.

* * *

I went through my life as I usually would, only this time without my cousins to worry about, without an apartment to clean and without a blonde brat to constantly annoy me in the most addictive of ways.

i thought a lot about moving to another town, getting a job there and working my butt off until i had enough money to hire a lawyer and reopen the custody case, but i would definitely miss the safety which Konaha provided. besides, once i got custody, it would be even harder to provide for my cousins in an unfamiliar place.

and i couldn't raise them here anymore.

Hideki had done a pretty good job of completely ruining my life.

Konan was quite accommodating towards my quickly onsetting depression.

she was the closest thing i had ever had to a mother in my life, well it was either her or Temari.

god, how sad was it that the most maternal person in my life, had been my younger cousin? and in all of their lives, i was the father figure, i had been their sole form of support.

geez, i really needed to stop thinking about it, it was only making things worse.

so i went through things as they had been before, except now i was woken up every morning by Konan, rather than the morning train transporting all of the east-side workers to their factory jobs on the south side of town.

On Monday, Tobi had a go at me, telling me he had been right and i took him and his advice for granted and that rich people were greedy little bastards who would do whatever they had to do, trample anybody in their way, just to get what they wanted.

i didn't agree with what he was saying, but i stayed quiet and nodded, because i wasn't feeling up to a fight.

Kisame and Itachi seemed happy.

Kisame had gotten his wish and would be going to the dance next week Wednesday with Itachi.

Wednesday.

it was the same day as the wedding.

i had very heavily considered going, even though i knew it would only reaffirm the fact that my entire world was pretty much a lie, but Konan was insisting that i come with her and Pein to the stupid dance just to watch everybody be happy while i was miserable.

still i knew she wouldn't take no for an answer, so i agreed, if only to shut her up.

i was envious of the people around me; the people who had played their cards right or who were simply dealt the right hand by fate.

Pein and Konan, they had been together since freshman year, never had a fight which lasted more than five minutes - mainly due to the fact that Pein had never been enthusiastic enough to argue about much and Konan had always been accommodating enough to change her opinion for him.

Tobi, his parents had basically given up on him and so he could be with whoever the hell he wanted, even that creepy handler of his who always seemed to melt into the background.

both Kakuzu and Hidan - who i was about sixty percent sure by now had something going on, due to a lack of fighting and other weird behaviors which seemed to freak the freshies out - both came from nothing families and had found each other, which worked out perfectly because nothing children, could do whatever the hell they wanted and nobody would bat an eye.

then o course there was Kisame and Itachi, the latter's parents had decided to be a little more open minded after what had gone down with Deidara, and the massive screw up he had become. apparently they had decided to save the real tough stuff for Sasuke, who would no doubt suffer.

the thing was, that it had taken mine and Deidara's own bad example to convince the Uchiha's that it was a good idea to allow a little slack in their usually strict regime.

i was envious of them.

they got the positive effects of a terrible thing.

my nights were the things that had changed the most; usually i would fall asleep to the sound of trains rushing past, the feel of the building shaking and the background noise of my cousins snoring safely in the next room. i would wake up every hour to the sound of crying, or screaming form nightmares or banging around in the kitchen, but now there was nothing but the cold, dead silence of a large room where children had learned from experience to sleep as quietly as possible.

many of them were refugees from Ame, or kids just like Deidara from Iwa.

they came from every part of our world, every age, size, color and shape, but it wasn't the same.

it was Wednesday night of the last week before Deidara got married, that Pein approached me.

i had been spoken to by all of my friends, in various efforts to try and cheer me up, but Pein had yet to even acknowledge the fact that anything was wrong.

i was staring out the window at the stars, looking for an answer in their endless void of black surroundings.

i was wondering whether Deidara, or any of my cousins were looking up at the sky right now.

i hadn't even gotten a phone call from my cousins.

the must've really hated me.

i felt my bed sink, cutting off my train of thought.

i hadn't really slept much since coming here, so it wasn't really my own bed, just one that happened to be there for my use.

"you can't spend the rest of your life like this," it was Pein's voice that reached me, in the same dull drawl as always, "it's not healthy."

"i'm not concerned about my health," i told him blandly.

"well clearly not," he sighed. i hadn't yet looked back but he seemed to be thinking about something. "I've never really agreed with Konan's psycho fantasies, that your all like our children, but sometimes it does feel that way... she wrote out a script of things she wanted me to say to you, but none of it means anything if it's all written out."

"don't tell me you're going to share one of your own experiences," i said, "that's really lame, even if it does relate to what i'm going through, there's no way it's the same."

"actually no i'm not, because the first girl i saw and liked, i made sure there was no confusion about these things. that was your first mistake," he said. usually i would've objected immediately to relationship advice, but i knew his was the best i could ever hope to get. "i just wanted to say that you can be miserable for the rest of your life, its not going to change anything. we'll be patient and we'll wait, but at some point your going to have to come back to the world of the living and when that time comes, i'm sure you'll have figured out exactly what you'll do with you life."

i nodded my thanks for taking the time to talk to me about it, even if it wasn't so much a talk as it was him telling me to take my time getting over things.

the bed shifted as he stood up.

it was dark and most of the other kids were sleeping.

"it's tough dude, you lost your family and your... that little blonde kid..." he seemed uncomfortable saying the B word. i could almost smile thinking how he must feel surrounded by us. "But for now the only thing you have to do is figure out what you're going to fight for; will you fight to get it all back, or will you fight to be happy without them?"

* * *

**Why did so many people think the previous chapter was the last one? have i ever given you guys a sad ending before? although.. there's still time**.


	28. Chapter 28

**So i was supposed to add this bit to the end of yesterday's chapter, but after i took my pills i was so bugered that i couldn't be bothered to write it out.**

**After this bit, the entire rest of the chapter will be through Tobi's eyes, so enjoy that while it lasts**.

* * *

it was Friday in Suna, the sun was setting by now but the hear had not let up on the small desert town. the sky was now blends of red, orange, pink and dark blue. a stiff wind blew through the tall tree which stood in the center of the graveyard.

the rustling of leaves was all that could be heard in this place which was so far off from the city.

three children sat in front of a grave, staring at the picture on the stone below which, fresh flowers sat in a small glass vase.

these days, it was the most contact any of the three could get with either of their parents.

had any of them had the courage to speak, it was likely that Temari would've said, "well there's no point in pinning for the past. mum's not coming back to save us and Sasori is a gutless bastard, so i'm your new mother," though the words would weigh heavy on her heart, as even if she took up that responsibility, she knew there was nothing she could do to stop the fate that lay a head of them.

Kankuro would probably say something like, "mother's are supposed to bake cookies and do laundry and stuff like that, i bet you don't even know how." the words would only earn him an angry older sister and small amounts of physical violence.

It would be a simple part of his own coping mechanism, to filter out the more harmful truths of the world.

And Gaara would stray from the topic and probably say, "do you even remember the last time we felt... safe?"

it would only cause them to think about painful memories which were once so sweet but now turned to ash in their mouths. nothing was as it had been and nothing would be the same ever again.

this conversation played out in all of their minds, resulting only in the same bitter conclusion that nothing had to be said at all.

As it was, Temari simply said, "Its getting late. it's time to go home."

she got up, saying farewell to her mother, before walking away with her brothers following her lead.

at the gate, she held out a bottle of water and waited for her brothers to hold out their hands.

"Why do we do this again?" Gaara asked.

"To make sure none of the spirits are attached to us," Temari replied, tipping water over his hands, "Sasori told me - well i was told by someone, that when you leave a cemetery, your supposed to wash your hands afterwards to make sure nothing follows you home."

Kankuro held out his hands and said, "Granny Chiyo would be pissed if she saw us doing this."

"which is exactly why we're not going to tell her," Temari said, tipping water over her own hands.

"it's not like it would change anything," Gaara said, "she's still sending us away."

the began to walk back towards the town ahead of them. the tall sand walls were casting a large shadow over the ground around them.

"it'll be okay," she said, in an attempt to comfort her brothers when she wasn't even too sure herself. "we've been separated before, haven't we?"

both brothers shook their heads and Kankuro said, "we've shared the same bed since we were little. we're going to be eaten alive in separate schools."

"i should've flunked the psyche test," Gaara said, "then they'd have a reason to pump me full of comforting pills."

Temari sighed, looking between her brothers.

With Sasori gone - that traitorous bastard, if she ever saw him again, he was a dead man - she was all that stood between her family and complete destruction.

in a rare gesture of compassion, she wrapped her arms around her brothers, pulling them both into a hug and kissing the tops of their heads. she felt dread sinking her stomach at the prospect of being sent to an all girls boarding school, so far from what she knew as safe.

she took a deep breath and did what any responsible older sister would do; she lied.

"Everything is going to be fine."

* * *

sometimes i hate people.

sometimes i hate them so so much.

people, what do they contribute to the world?

technology? knowledge? medicine and civilized things?

So what?

Man is a very greedy beast.

What we were born with is nothing and so we should leave this world with nothing except our memories, but when people leave it's more about how much you owned rather than the things you did.

i have spent my entire life witnessing people scramble to screw each other over, and make fools of themselves to get just an inch ahead.

almost everyone i knew was a disgusting, greedy pig.

i thought i had met somebody different when i first met Iwa Deidara. he was the heir to a big, important family but he was also fresh in off of the streets, rough around every wedge and with no manners or anything. with the things he had seen and been through, i figured he wouldn't want anything but a place to crash for a while, but it turned out he too was a greedy person; obsessed with getting his father's approval and willing to do anything for it.

the approval of a worthless man.

maybe that was why i hated him so much more than the others; enough to fall out of my own act when he was around, because he just made me so mad.

then i met Sasori.

he was an alright kid - weird that i refer to him as a kid when he is actually one year my senior.

the only thing he cared about was his cousins, which was good because - if you haven't realised yet - i hate greedy people.

it makes sense, doesn't it?

i had allowed myself to become surrounded by people like Sasori. selfless people who weren't looking to use their wealth - or lack thereof - to spite other people.

Konan and Pein were orphans who just wanted a bit of independence. they never went out of their way to get anything they didn't strictly need.

Hidan was concerned only by religion, he didn't trust things like money and he was happy to stay here as a factory worker for the rest of his life.

Kakuzu i suppose, was greedy in a way which i considered to be an exception. he held onto every penny, but he worked hard for it rather than going about pulling strings and cheating the system.

Kisame wanted to be rich, but not with money. he wanted life experience rather than material things. he understood me when i said there was no point dying a wealthy man if all you had ever done, was sit in your mansion and scowl at the world. it was better to die a poor man after having seen the world.

then of course, there was Itachi.

But he was my cousin and so i had no choice but to love him.

As the oldest in my family, i stood to inherit everything, - everything i didn't want - but i also forged the path for any future children my parents were to have.

but of course, since i had faked being an idiot my entire life, they were completely convinced that there was something wrong with their DNA stopping them from having perfect children.

so i never had a little brother.

Did it make sense that Deidara was sort of like one to me?

that was why, in a way, it made me so angry to watch him self destruct this way.

now, everybody has their sort of instructions for manipulation.

for Hidan and Kakuzu, it was simple; i just ignored them. they were a side ship anyway so i wasn't betting on them getting together, but the fact that they did made me happy anyway.

For Kisame and Itachi, it was a little different. they were from two totally different worlds, but i had decided a long time before either of them had, that they were the perfect match. it only took a few gentle nudges in the right direction to get Kisame to make his move into our little world.

but again, they were a completely irrelevant ship.

But let's talk about why I'm really here, talking to you people.

Hell, I don't even like you people, but I'm pissed and there's nobody here in my stupid world to vent to, so you'll have to take it for now.

Everybody thinks I don't know anything, that I just go about my life doing and saying random shit and pretending I know whats going on.

are they stupid?

do they think everything that happens in this world is just a coincidence?

what, do they think some crazy bitch is sitting at home right now, pulling all of this out of her ass and making it up as she goes along?

no!

the truth is, i have been behind everything, and by now i think i deserve a little damn recognition!

Sasori must've thought i set him up with that job because i cared about what happened to him and his family.

well no, i didn't.

i knew he'd pull through eventually.

And why would Iwa Hideki randomly want to meet his son's tutor when he never had before?

yep, that was my doing as well, part of my evil plan to get Sasori into a place where Deidara felt most vulnerable.

why wouldn't he show up to his own son's first game?

Because it was a good chance for Deidara to show his true colors to Sasori.

and who the hells idea do you think it was to have their bodies switched - yeah, i knew about that - do you think those kids just did it for the luls?

everything up until now, has been ME.

ME. ME. ME.

why? you ask.

Don't i hate Deidara? you ask.

What the hell is your endgame? you ask.

well i have an answer to all of those things in a simple statement;

BECAUSE THEY'RE MY OTP.

i swear, if you are sitting in your bed or your little desk chair laughing right now, i will cut you. i will track you down and slice you like a fish.

Sasori and Deidara are both similar people who respond to one thing; somebody constantly telling them not to do something.

and they were so close, i could feel it!

i was going to get my little brother back!

just a few more days and i know Deidara would've been clear of any trace of wanting to make his father proud. that stuff was for kids, anyway.

but then life threw a fucking plot-twist at me and now i'm sitting pissed off as all hell, in a fucking florist.

i had been made to accompany Deidara to all of these stupid places in preparation for his stupid wedding.

if it were up to me, i'd have shot Aiko by now.

problem solved, right?

well i would probably be arrested, but still, problem solved.

"Un, i really don't care!" Deidara stormed out of the back room suddenly, after about forty-five minutes of me doing nothing - except ranting. "I don't care if there aren't any damn flowers at all, un! i swear, if i have to look at one more fucking flower, i will burn down this entire block!"

the little bell connected to the door jingled in a cheerful manner when he opened it, until he reached up and ripped it off, taking it with him in his dramatic storm out scene.

Aiko ran out of the back room in time to watch him stomp off down the street through the stores window.

"I better go after him," she said to the older woman who left the room shortly behind her.

"No!" i said immediately, getting to my feet. "let Tobi go after him! Tobi will bring him back!" i said, in a voice i had practised so much over the years. Aiko looked a little worried but she could've started shitting lightning and i still wouldn't have cared.

if there was one thing i hated more than greedy people, it was Aiko.

i took off down the street after Deidara, who was making a beeline right to fucking nowhere.

"Hey, bridezilla!" i yelled.

to my amusement, he looked.

"What do you want, un?" he barked.

"You're quite touchy, aren't you?" i commented, not really stating my intentions just yet.

"So what? what do you want, un?"

"it's rude to walk away from a lady like that," i said, "is there something wrong with you?"

"I feel -"

"dumb? stupid? idiotic? like a jackass? like you've done the most stupid thing anybody has ever done in the history of the entire universe?"

he scowled at my short list.

"I feel cheated, un," he said.

"Too late to start feeling like that," i told him.

look, we're just going to accept that i can communicate with Deidara this way, okay?

"I know, but -"

"too late for buts," i said.

i could tell he was getting angry.

"I know that! Un, i just wish -"

"sorry, i'm not a well, nor am i a star and i'm pretty sure it's not your birthday. no amount of false magic is going to get you out of this," i told him, "you know i think it's good that you decided to marry Aiko. i never really liked you and Sasori as a couple."

he gaped for a moment and said, "Un, you knew about that?"

"Of course i knew! everyone knew! but i sure am glad that that nightmare is over!"

a frown twisted his face and his blue eyes filled with confusion.

i liked having a little brother, maybe just a little too much.

"what do you mean?"

I shrugged, "i already said it; you two were a lousy couple. it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. after all, your just too stubborn to admit that your wrong, even when you are," i said. i watched every little reaction and knew that it was working to put doubt in his mind.

if there was one thing Deidara responded to, it was somebody telling him constantly not to do something.

but i sure was cutting it close, three days before the wedding.

"How has Sasori been, un?" he asked tenatively, and almost too quiet for me to hear.

i acted as though i weren't thrilled to hear him ask that.

"I don't know, maybe after the wedding is over and done with, you can ask him yourself," i could see even more doubt form in his mind but i didn't give him a chance to voice it, so it would fester beneath his skin for the next three hours. "come-on, we better be getting back."

now i could only hope that it wasn't too late for my favorite couple.

* * *

**Wow, sorry. Tobi just got a way from me for a little while there.**

**The next few chapters will be the last, but i am currently working on the next sasodei story i plan to post if anyone is interested**.


	29. Chapter 29

**Im trying not to rush this but at the same time im sure we're all just as over this story as i am.**

**I have an ending planned out, not sure if it'll be everything you guys want, but i know it'll make me happy...**

* * *

on a different note, how stoked am i that i have over a hundred reviews on this? you wouldnt imagine how happy i am!

time seemed to pass by so quickly and suddenly it was the day i had been dreading.

Today was the dy of the wedding.

but today was also the day of that stupid dance, and so i had an excuse for burning my invitation.

not that i had a date to the dance. i didn't - but it wasn't for lack of girls asking. i was planning to just sit around and watch other people be happy.

i had taken Pein's advice into very serious consideration and decided i would at least fight to get back my cousins, even if they didn't want me anymore due to any emotional pain i might've caused them. i was going to be selfish for once in my life and fight for them because i needed them, not because they needed me.

for the next sx months i was going to work my ass off at whatever job i could find in whatever town i had to go to, until i had enough money to go to Suna and rescue my cousins. i would probably have to work multiple jobs at the same time, but i knew i would do it, if only to take my mind off of my memories of Konaha.

As for the other issue, i decided i had left it too late and that if Deidara was experiencing any sort of doubt, he would've contacted me rather than waiting.

he had made his bed and was now comfortable sleeping in it, it seemed.

by now, when i was waking up in the orphanage and planning to run off to a new town, he was probably waking up in his own bedroom for the last time as a single man.

i had decided that, even though i loved Konaha and my friends and i was so grateful for everything they had done for me and my family, that today would be my last day here.

i had exactly enough money to get me as far as Taki, even if i made stops ion Yuga and Iwa first. i knew Yuga was my best bet, since it was a tourist town now and was packed all year around. though the schooling systems weren't any good in any of those towns, but i would likely be too busy working anyway.

i had accepted in the last few days, that this was most likely the best fate i had awaiting me.

May i would have to seel myself as Temari had so often suggested, or i could get a job as a criminal like Deidara's mum.

whatever happened, i was going to get my family back.

"you're leaving?" Konan asked.

she had woken up early to see me packing my things. i had barely anything left, but i was taking everything i owned with me anyway.

"Tonight," i told her, "After the dance."

Because i had promised her i would attend.

"Where will you go?" she asked.

"Anywhere i can find work. i don't care if i end up digging holes all day, i'll take any job i can get."

She nodded, "but where will you stay?"

"whatever's cheapest. i know it's not going to be easy but there's nothing left for me here."

When i said that, she hugged me tightly and said, "We'll always be here for you, even if we don't speak, even if we lose contact for years, we're always going to be here for you."

I nodded and hugged back, "I know, thank you for that. I hope one day we can meet again, and we'll both be so much better off than this."

"We will be," she said, i could hear the humor in her voice but it quickly dried out, "you're a good boy. stay safe."

"i will."

There was no way i could say i wasn't affected by the fact that i had to leave her behind, but it was time.

i had outstayed my welcome in this world.

* * *

Finally it was the day i had been dreading.

I had always had this internal fear that i would be left standing at the alter but now i was afraid that my partner would actually show up.

As soon as i woke up, i was dragged out of bed for breakfast.

i felt like i was going to be sick as it seemed like two people argued in my head. two completely different people with two completely different people with completely different motives and values.

on the outside i was calm and sat at the table with my family, shovelling spoon after spoon of corn flakes into my mouth in a zombie like manner which meant i was still half asleep.

on the inside i was a wreck.

people were asking me questions.

i didn't listen but i agreed to everything that was said by my father, my little sister, my wedding planner and Tobi who had decided to stick around this whole time. he was going to stick around and watch me complete the worst decision i had ever made.

i really hated him, especially right now.

i had been so sure of my choice when i made it, but when he kept whispering in my ear, little things which made me think i was wrong, i got confused.

my feet were cold from the start but now i really felt like running away.

Obviously the ideal time to have a wedding, was during the morning, but the one place Aiko had had her heart absolutely set on was only available later on, around the same time as the school dance.

still, there was much to be done, even though all i really had to do was show up looking semi-presentable and try to remember my lines.

"You should get a haircut."

It was quite late by now, Tobi and i were in the church already, having gotten changed a while ago, we were sitting in one of the rooms near the back just screwing around and waiting for our cue. i was sitting in a small chair facing a dirty old mirror, fixing my hair into it's usual high ponytail.

"No way, un!" i said in reply to Tobi's statement, "i've been growing it out for six years!"

Mum had always liked the way i looked with long hair, but when i moved to Konaha, dad made me cut it. once i figured out how to think for myself, i started to grow it out again.

"You look like a girl," Tobi continued. For some reason, he was now completely comfortable talking to me now. "You know the first time they saw you, most of my friends thought you were a girl."

At this point, he laughed.

"Even Sasori, un?"

"Yeah! You should've seen how shocked he was!" Tobi kept laughing, "ah,I miss the good old days. Now it just feels like everything is turning to shit."

"I know what you mean, un."

"What are your plans for after the wedding?"

I sighed, "I'm moving back to Iwa, un. There's a branch of fathers business there which he's gifting to the Haruno's and making me watch over."

"And you're happy to go? Tobi asked.

"Well I guess un, any life is better than no life at all, right?"

"Why not just forget about this stupid wedding and come back to live with us? My parents don't like you over much, but Itachi's mum adores you. You could stay with them and go back to school and have a normal life."

I smiled slightly, nervously.

Was he kidding?

The look in his eyes said he wasn't.

"Tobi, you know i can't do that, un," I told him.

"Well why not!" He was shouting now.

"Geez un, what the hell is with you? One moment we're hanging out just like when we were younger and the next its like your fucking interrogating me!"

"Things weren't this screwed up when we were younger," Tobi said, "and you weren't such a self involved jerk!"

"Where the hell is this coming from, un?!" I asked, completely shocked.

"Where do you think!" He yelled in reply, "if you weren't so obsessed with all these stupid little things, we wouldn't be here right now!"

"where would we be then? you know as well as i do that as soon as i got myself into trouble, even Mikoto wouldn't have been able to keep me, un! I'm not like you and Itachi, un, i wasn't born with parents genetically programmed to love me!"

"Oh yeah, because my parents love me so much!" he retorted, voice dripping with sarcasm, "In case you haven't noticed, the only reason any of us are here, is to prove to everyone that our parents have the best blood! only your here because of a stupid mistake made by two stupid people sixteen years ago! still, i bet my parents would rather have you as their child than me!"

"And who's fault is that, un? i'm not the one who convinced your parents that you were a retard!"

by then i think we had gotten to a pretty dark, dangerous place. one that neither of us had any experience with.

it looked as though he were about to hit me.

right now i would welcome it.

i wasn't very proud of the things i had done or the things i had said.

i was a lousy person.

i didn't deserve him, or Itachi, or Sasori.

a helpful voice in the back of my head reminded me that i had pushed Sasori away and i suddenly felt a lot worse.

i was seconds away form asking tobi to get it over with and to hit me, before the door opened and i thought it was too late to do anything about my sealed fate.

"Iwa Hideki?" a voice called out through the room.

a man wearing a business suit entered the room, he wore glasses which the light bounced off of, hiding his eyes from sight. he held a large yellow envelope, presumably holding the papers i would be forced to sign.

"Who the hell are you?" Tobi asked, apparently too annoyed that our fight had been interrupted, to bother pretending.

The man looked slowly between the two of us and said, "I'm assistant to Iwa Hideki's lawyer," he said. wait a minute, that means he hadn't met my father, right? "i have some important documents to deliver. do either of you know where i could find him?"

"I'm Iwa Hideki," i said, fighting so hard not to use my impediment, i snatched the yellow envelope off of him and tried to act official, "this is all of them?" i said, looking at it suspciously.

"yes... sir," he said, seeming uncertain.

"Good," i said, "was there something else you wanted?"

the man sighed and didn't say anything, he left, muttering something about 'damn rich people.'

"what did you do that for?" Tobi asked me.

i ripped open the envelope and said, "Something Ino said to me last week, finally caught up with me, un."

the papers tried to do their thing and scatter when the yellow paper holding them inside tore apart, but i caught each one of them and skimmed through them quickly. i knew my cue was drawing near and time was running out.

i passed each paper to Tobi once i was finished wit it.

"What are we looking for?" he asked, all anger forgotten for now.

"I don't know, un," i admitted.

so far so good.

everything was on the up and up.

"Wait, i found something," Tobi said. he had started sifting through his own pile, and now held out a single piece of paper, much different from all the rest.

i took it off of him and scanned through it myself, barely able to believe my eyes.

"Un, is this...?"

i let the question hang for a moment.

"A document dissolving any affiliation you have with the Iwa family. dude, your father is trying to disown you."

"So it was all a lie..." i said.

this was what Ino had tried to warn me about?

and i had gone and ruined my life.

but it wasn't too late to try and make things right, was it?

I quickly tucked that particular document away in my jacket pocket.

Tobi's phone vibrated obnoxiously in his pocket and the atmosphere seemed to dissolve as he paused to check his new message. his reaction to it was enough to tell me it wasn't goo.

"looks like i might have to miss your reception," he said, turning his phone towards me to show me the screen.

'Sasori's leaving. meet at the main train station at eleven to say goodbye.'

the sender was labeled 'witch' but i guessed he probably meant that nice bluenette he hung out with everyday.

wait, Sasori was leaving?

Leaving?

where the hell did he think he was going?!

Why the hell didn't he tell me?!

oh right...

damn, how long was this wedding going to take?

no, i couldn't go through with the wedding now!

not now. no i had to do something.

i grabbed my own phone off of the small vanity, which was like, the only thing in this stupid room. in a blind panic, i dialed his number, already halfway out the door with Tobi at my heels, cackling madly.

come-on pick up!

pick up!

pick up dammit!

please!

"Where do you think your going?"

my phone was taken out of my hand, stern obsidian eyes looking almost up at me - hey, i was pretty tall - disapprovingly.

"You're supposed to be at the main entrance, ready to escort that pretty redhead down the aisle," she said to Tobi.

"Yes aunty," Tobi said, he scurried off, not bothering to argue with Mikoto.

she turned to me, smiling with a deep sadness held in her eyes, "you ready sweety?" she asked. i hated when she, or any other woman called me named like that, but i really couldn't be mad at Mikoto.

i didn't know what to say.

my only salvation had disappeared into her purse, and so i didn't say anything.

* * *

**Sorry to cut this off like this, but i needed a point to cut it off and this seemed as good as any.**


	30. Chapter 30

**hey yall, i just thought i'd let you know that this story has like two or three chapters left. sorry for dragging it out, im trying to end it but new things just keep coming up.**

* * *

I had been to every school dance since I was eleven and I could honestly say that this was no different. The food was terrible and it tasted like someone had spiked the punch, the girls showed up in dresses that were so shiny they just ended up looking weird. There were a few girls who looked kind of nice, wearing nice colours that weren't totally painful to look at and only thin layers of make-up so that you could barely tell, but then there were the ones who had so much caked onto their face, they looked like cheap corner whores – and I don't mean the nice kind either.

As for the boys, they generally showed up in dress shirts and plain black pants, some showed up in weird coloured suits – the favourite being purple of course – and other showing up in golf clothes or sweats. Most of the boys showed up with so much gel in their hair and so much cologne, between them and the girls, it was as though they had bought out an entire cosmetics store.

Me and my friends tended to show up in whatever we had or whatever we could manage to borrow – or steal off of our neighbours clothesline as the case was sometimes.

Hidan usually rocked up in church clothes, plain white pants and shirt. Kakuzu came in clothes he wore for a job interview. Kisame and I both had separate clothes for court which were presentable enough. Konan of course, always went the few extra meters to make sure that she and Pein showed up looking just a little better than the rest of us.

Having been on the other side of town a few times before, I could say with all certainty, that this was like a ghetto version of one of those rich people parties. Though right now I could also say, with all honesty that I felt a lot more at home here.

People here had nothing to hide, no reason to lie to you and you knew who was who.

Rich people were different; they smiled to your face but as soon as you turned away, they were somebody different completely.

I used to complain that everyone in high school was a big fake, but I knew better by now.

Usually they took a picture when you entered with your partner for the evening – as well as taking butt loads of other pictures all throughout the night – but Konan had convinced them to take just one picture, with the seven of us.

Seven.

Seven was such an odd number.

Seven was such a noticeably odd number, don't you think?

If Tobi had been here, there'd be eight of us , though there would still be two unmatched people, it wouldn't be so weird.

We'd end up sitting at a table insulting all of the couples and getting punch drunk and it would a much better last night in town.

But Tobi was at the wedding right now.

I should've been there too, but the part of me which controlled my motor functions wouldn't allow me to go.

we pushed two tables together, so we wouldn't have to sit apart. nobody seemed to mind, though i can't think of anyone who would be stupid enough to argue with us, knowing our reputation.

everyone was here, from timid freshies to bored seniors, and the hall was decked out in our school colours; purple and orange - don't ask me what they were thinking, i wouldn't be able to tell you even if i wanted to. The speakers were pumping out a mix of modern pop and 90's rock.

"Remind me why i'm here again," Hidan said, looking around the room in disgust before i could even think to complain.

"Because you promised!" Konan said brightly.

"Because you needed a break from your nut case father," Kakuzu said.

"Because we offered to pay," Itachi said.

"Because this is the last time we're all going to be together like this," Pein drawled.

Konan had told them all during lunch that day that i would be leaving that night. there had been a small argument - i think that had been her intention - but eventually Pein managed to convince them all - including Konan - that this was just something i had to do.

"That reminds me, I have to tell Tobi," Konan said, "what time are you leaving?"

"The last train for Iwa leaves at eleven."

She nodded and quickly informed Tobi of the situation.

for the rest of the dance, all i could think about were my cousins.

Chiyo had sent a letter to tell me how they were. just as i had thought, she'd sent them all off to separate schools, she'd even given me the names and addresses, in case i wanted to write to them or anything like that, but i knew it wouldn't be that simple.

i could really only imagine how they all must feel.

i wanted to write to them and tell them everything, everything that had happened and the reason i had to give them away for a while, i wanted to tell them that i was going to get them back, no matter what it took, and i wanted to hear from them, but i knew that any letter i wrote, would never so much as reach them.

i got a phone call from Deidara halfway through the night. he hung up before i could even ignore the call.

maybe he was in trouble.

Maybe he needed my help.

i flashed back for a moment, to the pier, but i forced myself not to care. mainly because i was pissed that i was so disposable to him. if i were to call him back and find out he did need my help, what would that change? i would go to his rescue - no matter what the cost - and when that was over we would once again go our separate ways.

i was a family oriented person, that much is clear right form the start, right?

For a moment i had allowed myself to believe that Deidara could be that part of my family which was missing.

but now i was thinking we'd all just be better off if i focussed on what i already had.

* * *

i had been standing at the main entrance for twenty minutes now, waiting to escort a pretty red head inside. she was wearing an ugly yellow dress - as were the rest of the bridesmaids - which clashed loudly with her bright hair.

Aunty Mikoto must've put me with this girl because she knows bright colors annoy me. she was always trying to piss me off.

speaking of things that annoy me - besides all of you bastards who laughed, i haven't forgotten about you all - this entire wedding was beginning to piss me off.

they couldn't decide on colors and so now, everything was a mix of green and gold, with absolutely no theme or context. you'd think if they were going to melt down, they could've at least picked decent colors!

plus, Deidara had completely flipped out at the florist, making a mess of everything and causing Aiko to leave in a fit. he had had free reign over the flowers and so everything was decked out in every kind of yellow flower in the known world, which although they went with the dresses, i was at least a hundred percent sure they were bad luck.

When i got married - which i probably wouldn't since i hated pretty much everyone - everything was going to be black and white, including the guests clothes. there would be no bright colors at all.

but i digress.

wait no, this is important; if anyone shows up to my wedding in bright colors, i will personally arrange for them to be dropped out of an airplane. if they wanted to look like rainbows, they had to be high up, right?

so by now, it had been half an hour.

what the hell was the hold up?

i needed to get going, it was already ten thirty.

"Tobi, come here," Mikoto was at the other end of the hall we were in, beckoning to me. Deidara wasn't with her.

i went over to see what was wrong, glad to get away from the bright yellow and near the relative safety of Aunty Mikoto's deep red dress.

"What's wrong?" i asked, half acting and half deciding, well fuck it because nobody else was around, "is this thing happening or not?"

I saw mischief mix up in her eyes and a smile curl her mouth. "Deidara's gone," she whispered, "He's not coming back. i have to go tell my husband so he can say something to all these people."

"What about Hideki?" i asked.

"He was called away," i could tell there was a hidden message in her words.

but really, what kind of a father doesn't stick around to watch their own son's wedding become a disaster?

"go and tell the girls that they can leave," She continued.

"Who gets to tell Aiko?" i really wanted t be the one to do it.

I heard an outraged screech and a crash, and the smile on my aunt's face turned gleeful.

"She already knows," she said.

"So what happens now?"

she shrugged, "Isn't not knowing, the most exciting part?"

* * *

we had left the dance early.

i didn't want them all to have to leave because of me, they'd all seemed to be having so much fun in their own little world, but they all insisted at separate times, that it was important to see me off.

the main station in town, wasn't too far from the school; about four locks away, if we cut through the park first.

we decided to walk. it was dark but we were a group of six guys from bad neighborhoods - excluding Itachi of course - and one female refugee from Ame. nobody was going to mess with us.

it was a nice night for strolling through the sleeping city in only the best clothes we could find crammed underneath our beds - that's where i'm assuming Hidan and Kisame kept their clothes.

The sky was clear, the moon was full and the autumn air was restless, turning the silent cit into a disaster of noise and ruining that little effort the seven of us had put into our appearance.

i didn't want a big emotional farewell though i suspected i wouldn't be getting one anyway. Konan was the only one likely to get emotional about the fact that i was leaving.

we walked in relative silence, with small conversations forming around me. i listened to my friends speak for what might very well be the last time.

what were they going to do after this?

What was the current bet that Hidan's father had gone on a bender before Thursday mass?

Did anybody do the assignment for Geography?

No, because Hidan was the only one who took Geo and he was a lazy git.

cue psychotic rant.

i really was going to miss my friends, if only because they could start a fight over nothing, even without Tobi the trouble maker.

Tobi met us at the station,

i wanted to ask about the wedding but i didn't want to know.

to my relief - and disappointment - he didn't say a word.

it was only a few minutes before the train pulled up.

this was it.

"So i guess this is goodbye?"

Konan had latched onto me before i could even finish speaking.

"They grow up so fast!" she exclaimed.

i patted her back awkwardly.

"Let's not call it goodbye," Pein said, "just, until we meet again."

his words were met with a silent agreement.

the last call for my train. i didn't want to be stuck here anymore.

i kept hoping, deep deep down that he would show up at the last minute, declare that he had run away from his own wedding, and fixed things up so we could be together and somehow get my cousins back.

i kept waiting for an easy way out.

i kept hoping he would stop me.

but he didn't.

nobody did.


	31. Chapter 31

**This chapter is taking place at the exact same time as the one before it, but through Deidara's eyes.**

* * *

"Are you ready?" there was a sadness held in Mikoto's eyes which i didn't understand. when i didn't say anything she said, "i'm sorry it had to be this way, really i am but here are just stuff things in life that i have no control over," she paused for a moment, her eyes lighting up a little, "you on the other hand, hold all the right cards, don't you?"

Her eyes wandered down my jacket, staring at the place where i had that contract stuffed away - how the hell did she know about that?

"I', not sure i want to exploit my father, un," i said. but when i took a little more time to really think about it, he had spent his entire time knowing me, exploiting me for all of the worst reasons. maybe it was time the tables were turned, she watched me make my decision and i knew it was like she was reading my mind. "But what about all these people who cam to see me get married, un?"

"Let me take care of them. you go and talk to Aiko and I'll get your gather to meet you at -"

"The main station, in town un."

she looked at me curiously, "are you planning on going somewhere?"

"Maybe un," i told her, "I haven't decided yet. get him to meet me there at eleven thirty."

Mikoto gave my phone back and we went our separate ways. i was tempted to call Sasori and ask him not to leave, but i had more pressing matters to attend to and only about an hour to do so.

my first call was to a lawyer, the same one who had taken my case each time i was in prison and the same guy who had gotten me awarded a blood test, he was prepaid for by the Uchiha's, should i ever need him again, and he held a grudge against my father.

i told him i needed some legal advice, then told him about the contract i was being made to sign. i asked him if there was a way to make it work in my favor and he said he'd be able to write up a separate contract and deliver it to the main station in time, so i told him exactly what i wanted and said goodbye, with just enough time to rush through the church and into the other changing room, where Aiko was waiting impatiently.

when she heard the door open, she turned around and said, "It's about damn time!" but when she saw me, her green eyes widened in shock and she said, "idiot, don't you know it's bad luck for you to see me before the wedding."

she had opted to go for a traditional sort of dress, which was big and horribly puffy, with about a million too many layers of skirt. i had never been into dresses like that, but then again i had never really been that into dresses.

"it's bad luck to have yellow flowers at the wedding too un, but you didn't seem to mind," i muttered.

she glared, "of course i don't care what color the flowers are! i just want to get this over with and get married to you!"

"To me, or my money, un?"

"Money? your father is throwing you away after this wedding, so why would money be an issue here? i just want to get away from my rotten family. i'm sick of living such a simple life."

"Well un, i hate to break it to you, but you're going to have to find another way to escape, because i'm out of here," i said, "but i mean, you can still go in there, maybe there's somebody stupid enough out there to fall for all of this," i waved my hand in front of her face.

"What do you mean your leaving?" she asked slowly, "you can't leave!"

"yeah, well who's going to stop me, un?"

for a moment, i was afraid she was going to pull a knife out of the folds of her dress and stab me, then drag me to the alter and force me to marry her, but luckily, it seemed she hadn't reached that level of insanity yet.

instead, she sank to her knees, the white material of her dress crumpling and pooling around her, and she cried.

she began to babble incoherent sentences, but i made out the jist of it; her father had paid so much money for this wedding, everyone she knew was here, what was she going to do if i left, she'd never be able to show her face again!

"i'd probably be swayed by all of this, un, if i weren't from Iwa. You might want to do your research next time, un, because the only way your getting me down that aisle is by force, and right now i'm pretty sure i have you beat."

she let out an outraged screech and i was able to dodge when she threw a chair at the door - it was the closest thing within her reach.

"well un, i think that's my cue to get going," i said, making my way to the window i hadn't climbed out one of those in quite a while - pulling it open, i jumped out.

lucky for me, it was only a two story fall and i landed safely on my feet - practice makes perfect so any of you kids planning to run out on your weddings when your older, should start jumping out windows more often - just in time to see Tobi getting into his car. he had been my ride here and i had no other way to get to the station, so i caught up with him just before he took off - of course he wasn't the one driving, his parents would never allow that.

"dude, i need a ride, un," i said, opening the back door and getting in the car before he could even answer me.

"Where have you been?" he asked. he sounded rather irritated. it was almost eleven. "Weren't you supposed to be getting married today?"

"Yeah i was, un, but i've got a plan now. you're not going to deny me, are you?"

he thought about it for a moment - like, really thought about leaving me on the side of the road to either hitch hike to my destination, or walk - before saying, "fine, where are you heading? we've got a bit of time."

"Same place you're going, un," i told him.

"your cutting it kind of close, aren't you?"

"better late than never, right?"

the drive to the station was a quick one, where i didn't say much, but i listened to the quiet conversation Tobi had with his driver. i had really never seen Tobi take to anyone like this before, so it was fun to watch, though in a way it also made me quite sad. i couldn't explain why, even if i tried to.

when the car parked, i could see a familiar group of people crowding on the platform; Sasori's friends had all come to say goodbye. i caught a glimpse of red before a flash of blue took over. suddenly i felt sick.

"Are you coming?" Tobi asked, having opened the door directly beside me.

"No, un," i said, "it's not my place."

Tobi nodded, "Alright, suit yourself."

i sat in the newly formed silence of Tobi's car, and watched the scene play out. they all seemed to have something to say, and i wished only for a moment, that i could read lips, but knowing what they were saying would more than likely make this so much harder for me.

It was better this way.

Then the train showed up, heading to Iwa - i noticed this with a certain amount of glee - and Sasori hesitated before getting on. during those two seconds of hesitation it was painfully hard not to jump out of the car and tackle him and beg him not to go. but this wasn't the moment when we were to meet again.

If i was good and everything played out the way i wanted to, we would meet again later.

when he was gone, Sasori's friends scattered in groups of two, and Tobi made his way back to us. he didn't say anything and i didn't either, i just stayed put until my lawyer showed up, at which point i said goodnight to Tobi and Zetsu, though i didn't tell either of them, that this might be the last time we would see each other for a while.

i felt like i might be sick, having y lawyer explain to me the terms and conditions of this new contract. it was everything i needed and wanted if i was going to be happy in the future, but was i making the right choice?

Father was going to be mad.

but i was mad too, that was why i was here.

i watched people come and go as i absorbed his words, i watched trains stop and bring new visitors to our city, i wondered if any of them were just like me, i wondered if i should warn them that there was nothing in this town for people like us. i watched the lights flicker like flames and threaten to go out completely, I listened to the wind threatening to snap trees in half, threatening to force cars off of roads or to push buildings over. I took a moment to absorb as much of Konaha as I possibly could, before I had to leaf it behind.

He showed up right on time, looking pissed off as all hell.

He had murder in his eyes.

I was just lucky I had chosen such a public place.

"Hey un, you made it!" I said cheerfully, just to annoy him.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled, ignoring the ma sitting beside me, and basically everyone else around us, "do you have any idea what you've done?! Do you have any idea how it makes me look, to have a coward of a son?!"

I ignored everything he said and pretended as though every word he said wasn't like a knife right through my heart.

"You've met my lawyer, right un?" I said, deciding to get right down to business. I took out the contract he had first expected me to sign, thorough it was now crumpled, with fold lines and a bit of pocket damage, I knew he recognised it.

"Where do you get that?" He was fuming mad by now.

"That it matter, un? What's important is that I have let," I told him.

"Listen boy, I don't know what you're up to but -"

"Well if you'd listen, maybe I wold tell you," I said. "You do want me to sign this, don't you un?"

He said nothing, but his expression remained the same mask of u adulterated rage. I took that as a yes.

"Alright then un, I want you to sign this for me."

I had my lawyer present the new contract to my father.

"What is this?"

"Basically un, it states that instead of paying off the Haruno's, you'll give the money directly to me. You can keep your damn business In Iwa, I don't want to be particularly rich or anything, un, but I get to keep all that stuff your rich friends gave me," I told him, "if you sign, it also means that you can never force Ino into a marriage which she doesn't want. You also have to hire the best family lawyer between here and Suna to reopen the custody case for those three orphan children which was lost when you ruined Sasori's name."

"And if I don't sign?" He asked.

I had noticed a few interesting reactions as I had listed the conditions of my personalized contract.

"Then I don't sign either, and you're stuck with me as your heir."

He sighed, "I didn't know you cared so much about other people," he said quietly, getting out a pen.

"It's probably the reason I wouldn't do very well In Your line of work, un."

"Your probably right."

He scrawled his signature down on the dotted line.

He handed me the pen and said, "I've known you for all of six years and this is the first time I've ever truly thought of you as my son."

I took the pen and signed the bottom of the other contract, officially dissolving our relationship, "funny that you'd say that un, right when I'm in the process of screwing you over." I handed over the pen and paper which he would need to bring back to his lawyer - it probably would've been better for his lawyer to be here right now actually - and said, "there un, I am officially not your son anymore. I hope your happy with what you've got."

"Where will you go now?" He asked, perhaps just for conversations sake.

"Well since I own a house In Iwa, and all my stuff is already there... I'll probably go back to Iwa."

He held out his hand for me to shake and said, "good luck."

* * *

*Two Months later*

Temari had lost track of the days since she had last seen her brothers.

Every day was the same.

She woke up at the same time in a room full of beds, other girls sleeping soundly in the same room.

Had she heard something?

A voice? A cry? A train maybe?

Had she heard Gaara calling out for her? Had she heard Kankuro crying out in pain?

Were they here? Did they need her help?

No, it had just been a dream. A wonderful dream.

She hadn't heard a single word from them. She had written letters, but nothing ever came back.

Did what she write ever make its way to her brothers?

Probably not.

But today was different from All the other times, she could tell just by the way things were in the morning, when the headmistress came in to make sure they were all up and dressed, their beds made and the room clean.

It was Saturday. Mail call day.

Names were called, girls were given their letters, tears were shed from people who had so far not received anything, or from girls who had gotten their first letter that morning.

Nothing new at all, until the headmistress looked right at her.

"Temari, you are to report to the front entrance immediately."

She didn't know what was waiting for her, but prayed it was better than this.

The halls were empty as she ran through them, the suspense was beginning to get the better of her, she started at a brisk pace, she started to jog, then run, her heart pounding. What was waiting for her out there?

She burst through the doors, into the dull morning light, still burning hot since they were in the desert after all.

There was nothing out there but the sand and the buildings which stood outside the fence.

Nothing.

She was filled with disappointment.

But really, did she have any right to hope?

Nobody was coming to save her.

Nobody cared.

Every fight there had even been, had been lost until Sasori had finally decided to give them away.

This was her life now.

"Un, there she is."

"TEMARI!"

It couldn't be, could it?

Could it be?

Her silent question was answered when two sets of arms wrapped around her at different points, and two bodies slammed into her, hugging her tightly.

She couldn't believe it, she wouldn't. She wouldn't get her hopes up just to have them smashed down again.

This was a dream.

It must be a dream.

before she could stop it, tears were flooding her eyes, cascading down her face, her body was shaking, she hugged back, deciding that if this was a dream, or even some form of insanity, she would rather give in, than ignore the only happiness she was likely to have.

"Don't cry!" Kankuro's voice reached her ears like the most wonderful thing she had ever heard. "You're going to make me cry!"

"Tell me this isn't a dream," she said quietly, her face hurried between heads of brown and red hair - Gaara had grown so much since they last met.

"It's not," Gaara said, "I promise."

"But how?"

"Because I have the best lawyer ever, un."

No way.

"Deidara?"

"Wow, you kids have awesome memories, huh un?"

Temari wiped her eyes, fighting to control herself she said, "but why?"

"It's a long story, un. I'll explain on the way."

* * *

The past two months had been the longest of my life. Currently I was working two jobs.

I was lucky enough to get a job in an office, apparently I had just enough experience to be an assistant. I also moonlighted in a fast food restaurant, which I hated, but it helped pay the rent.

I was making g good progress and hopefully. Would have my cousin s back by Christmas.

I had thought a lot about them.

Was I being selfish?

The could live way better lives with Chiyo; she could pay for things that I couldn't, even if I worked ten jobs.

Had I made the right choice, leaving Konaha, leaving school?

I would probably end up like my own parents, or like my uncle, who had pretty much caused this mes in the first place.

But i was now much too far gone to ever think of going back.

Iwa was a good place for me ton have gone. It was easy to find work, n case I ever needed another job, and there was always somewhere cheaper to stay than where I was already staying. It was a lot like Konaha, except that I hadn't bothered to make friends here. The only people I spoke to were my boss, and people looking to order something from where I worked.

I usually worked at night tough. I was in the smaller part of Iwa, and we were one of the only food places wit a 24 hour drive through, though I generally only stayed to pack up, unless it was a weekend.

Tonight was no different.

I had locked the doors, stacked the chairs and swept the floors.

The lights were all off, except in the kitchen , where about three people were rushing around doing a job which was usually done by at least six. I had learnt to ignore the constant alarms going off in the kitchen, though I knew what they all meant, but by now I was able to tune them all out.

When I was done cleaning, I was let off.

My current apartment was a short bus ride across town.

Iwa was great, because the buses ran all night so I was never worried about missing the last one.

I had spent a lot of time here, thinking about Deidara.

I missed him.

I wanted to see him.

I wanted to hear his voice and his annoying speech impediment.

Sometimes I thought I saw him, but I knew it couldn't be.

He was married to Aiko, right? Except Tobi had told me that the wedding had been a disaster and Deidara ended up running out.

so where was he now?

I wanted to track him down and hear everything that had happened. I wanted to know why he hadn't come to find me. I wanted to know if he still wanted me.

I wanted him.

It was my only selfish impulse besides the need to get my cousins back.

one day I would go back to Konaha and find him. But for now, I had another goal to work towards.

I was still hoping for an easy way out.

Then I found one.

When I got off the bus, I was in clear sight of my current building.

Usually there would be a couple of kids, or a passed out hobo sitting on the steps, but not tonight.

tonight,god had delivered the most wonderful of miracles, so good that I knew must've been a dream, yet I gave in immediately, deciding i would rather be crazy than have to deal with this crushing feeling of failure which followed me wherever I went.

My cousins sat sleeping on the steps, leaning on one another, blissful smiles on all of their faces. They were real, I could reach out an touch them, they were so close and so real.

And there, in the middle, Deidara sat, his arm trapped in Gaara's grasp, he was half asleep, his blue eyes almost completely shut. He looked up sleepily when he saw me, it looked like they had been waiting for a while, but if i had known they were here to start with, I would've ran home right away.

"Hey," he said, his voice dripping with tiredness, a smile pulling at the edges of his mouth as he shifted the child using him as a pillow and stood up to face me properly.

"Hey," I said back, barely able to contain myself. It my cousins hadn't been asleep, I would've behaved a lot different.

"You're just on time, un," he said.

"Clearly," I said.

Before he could say anything else or offer any form of explanation, I kissed him, deciding it was the best way to say how much I had missed him, and the perfect way to start over again.

* * *

**I'm tempted just to leave it like this. I know its like, mega rushed, but this was really all I could come up with, this tiny screen really makes it hard to form ideas.**

**what do you think, epilogue or no epilogue? **


	32. Epilogue

**So, upon popular demand, I'm givin' yall an epilogue. This will be the completely final chapter, no exceptions** ever at all.

* * *

It had been exactly one year since I first came into contact with Iwa Deidara, in the middle of Konaha's finest public highschool.

Even now, i could vividly remember every last detail, every word which was shared, down to the letter, I could see everything with picture perfect clarity and i could especially remember my - perhaps gender confused himself - friend Hidan mistaking him for a chick.

Up until that point, I had been content to stare into the other world through a thick, safe window, but never enter it.

Up until then, I had never thought that the grass could be greener anywhere else than where I currently was.

My brief relationship with the richer world, was one that had revealed the other side of the fence to be a dark, dangerous place, where nothing was ever as it seemed and the grass was only greener because it was fake, just like everything else in that awful place. I had found that there was only one way to remain happy and safe, and that was with my family, though after a brief run in with reality,I had almost lost them as well.

Things were better now, since everything had calmed down. Now I was more than simply content to have nothing for certain, except my family.

In the end, it turned that they were I had ever needed.

The night we were reunited, in front of an old rundown Iwa apartment building, was also the night Temari had tried to kill me - big surprise, right? She had had everything explained to her and yet had to hear it from me once more with her small hands clasped tightly around my throat before she would forgive me, it had been quite a sight for Iwa onlookers that night, though one they were more or less used to, judging by the fact that none of them bothered to call the cops.

Gaara and Kankuro were more or less cool with it, and definitely more forgiving than their older sister. All it took was a hug and a small apology before they let me off the hook. I think they were just happy to be all together again and away from their nutty grandmother.

The three of them finished their school year in Iwa, though everything was just a little more expensive there. We stayed in a house Deidara had been given to celebrate his marriage, though I didn't like the reason it was there, I was glad we didn't have to live in a cramped little apartment by the train station anymore.

We were finally all together in the most perfect of ways, with no obstacles in between us.

My family was finally complete and I could tell I wasn't the only one who thought so.

Still it was hard to deny that there was something missing.

Deidara and i both spent the rest of the year working as much as we could, though it was a lifestyle he wasn't so used to, he really took to it well. Wherever we could find work, we took it, but even with the extra help it was still difficult bringing up three kids in Iwa so we made the decision to go back.

In the middle of summer, we moved back to Konaha, and with the help of the money earned from selling Deidara's house, plus leftover cash he had stashed away from his father, we found a good place to stay.

Deidara and I re-enrolled in school - we were both pretty bummed that we had to repeat since we had both left halfway through the first semester but whatever - and here we were again. First day of school, revisited, right?

Now as I'm sure we all know by now, the first day of school is always, without fail, the worst.

You have to get up so early, after having slept in for two straight months, you have to run around the house trying to get your shit together on time and then after all that, you have to spend eight soul crushing hours in a building full of people you hate and learning things which have no real world application, when you could be out supporting your family.

But this time around, I found I didn't mind so much.

sure, I hadn't exactly gotten much side over the summer - or like, ever - and I wasn't quite looking forward to going back to school,but now I found myself filled with an infallible happiness which surpassed any kind of misery my first day planned to put in my path.

This time,on the first day of school, I didn't wake up before six - there was no rush to get on the train this time around - and not on a lumpy couch in a crappy one bedroom apartment. The place we lived in now was a lot nicer - though I figured anything would be nicer than where we had been before - and it was big enough for me to actually have a room away from my cousins, enough so that i could barely hear them at night.

I woke up in a bed, big enough for two people - and more often than not, it was used by two people - around seven. The house was alive with the sound of my cousins fighting for use of the bathroom and trying to locate their things.

It was the common fighting, screaming, death threat scene perhaps you have in your own house, and I knew I should probably get out there, but I had been having such a nice dream, I just wanted to go back to sleep.

It was the type of dream that I couldn't remember entirely, but I knew it had been safe and warm and happy, and I could make out small images. I had been with my cousins, in a park or in a field, and there was nothing but clear skies and open space and sun. We reached this sort of lake or river or maybe the ocean - whatever I just know there was water there - and everyone I loved was there, and it felt like one of those forever things.

That doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

Especially since the life I was living was pretty much like that now.

I forced myself to get up when I heard, "dude, your burning it!"

Living with my cousins all this time, I thought I was used to things being accidentally set alight, but living with Deidara was a whole other story. He was a pyromaniac, and frequently burned things without even realising.

Now you'd probably figure that having two adults in the house would lessen the risk of it burning down, but he was more likely to sit and stare at one of my cousins accidental flames, than to put it out.

I rushed towards the sound of Kankuro's voice - who would've thought he'd be worried about anything? Only to see him and Gaara leaning over the toaster.

"Chill dude, I know how to cook toaster waffles, un," Deidara joined them, staring down at the toaster for a few seconds before leaning back and pushing my two cousins away as well, "I used to live off of the stuff before I became a rich kid, un."

"Yeah but wasn't that like, a million years ago?" Kankuro asked.

Deidara gave him a flat look, "if that's how old I look to you, un," he said.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Kankuro exclaimed, immediately willing to take back his words.

"Whatever kid. You and your brother go and get ready for school before I really do burn your breakfast, un."

Needless to say, both Gaara and Kankuro raced towards their bedroom as fast as they could, so as not to have to suffer through blackened toaster waffles, which Deidara would make them eat despite their condition.

Wow, and here I was worrying that they were going to burn the place down.

"Morning Danna, un!" Deidara's voice reached my ears and I felt a light kiss on my cheek, before he smiled at me and said, "are you going to school shirtless, un? Cause personally, I wouldn't mind, but it'll probably be a bit distracting for everyone else."

I blinked a couple of times, fighting the sleep which threatened to drag me right on back to bed. In my rush to get to the kitchen, I had forgotten to make sure I was properly dressed.

"Uh... no. I was just -"

"Making sure nothing was on fire, un," he finished for me, "trust me un, I'd never do anything to put those kids in danger."

"I know, I just can't help worrying about them like, all the time."

He laughed lightly and said, "Danna's so cute!"

"Whatever," I muttered, looking away, annoyed.

He tsk'd, "Danna's also easily annoyed," he said. Damn straight I was!

I felt his hand brush against my cheek, turning my head back to face him and his barely suppressed smile as he leaned towards me. Okay, now I was a little less annoyed. He had his arms around me before our lips had even touched, the build up had always been my favorite part, I had my hands resting on his slim waist, just barely an inch of space separated us now -

"Okay I'm ready, where's my breakfast!" Mood ruined. Gaara burst into the room, exclaiming loudly, a demand for food, before freezing in place and saying, "ugh, get a room!"

"Last time I checked, this was one," I said, removing myself from Deidara, to shoot a dirty look at my youngest cousin.

"Well get your own room!" Gaara countered.

As an eleven year old, he was beginning to argue more and more.

"Who the hell do you think owns this house?" I asked, before sighing and saying, "whatever, I'm going to get dressed."

Well that had been a bust.

We took the bus to school now instead of the train. There were far less factory workers but a few more hobo's than I would've liked. Of course, all three of my cousins knew by now, not to associate with hobo's so I didn't have to constantly watch them while we were on the road.

"Hey Deidara, guess what?" Temari said when it was just the three of us left - Gaara and Kankuro having just gotten off.

"What, un?"

"We're going to be in the same class this year!"

Right, and I would begin the same class as Tobi and Itachi, and possibly Hidan.

"Right un, this is your second year, isn't it? Wow, I'm going to be like, the only seventeen year old in the class, aren't I?"

Temari laughed, "everyone's gonna think your so weird."

I perked up at hearing this.

"Which is exactly why the two of you are going to sit together in every class," I said, "if people see the two of you together, they'll assume your also weird and no boys will go near you!"

Temari rolled her eyes, "you can't protect me forever," she said.

"We'll see," I said back.

Once we were at school, we went our separate ways. Temari ran off with her friends andi dragged Deidara off to find mine.

I was feeling unnaturally nervous. This was the first time I would be seeing my friends since last year, though I had kept semi-constant contact with them, I still felt like I might be sick.

They were all waiting out in the quad, for school to start up again - well most of them were, anyway.

I was surprised to see Pein and Konan were also there. I had heard they were awarded scholarships to Konaha College, which also included accommodation, so what were they doing here?

When I was within hearing range of them all, I heard Itachi greet us politely, automatically triggering Konan. She sot up out of her seat and without a second - or even a first - thought, she hugged both Deidara and I tightly, yelling in our ears as tough we were miles away.

"Ah I can't believe your back! This is so great! Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

she was bouncing up and down with happiness and eventually, Pein had to pry her off of us, with a bored sigh and a dull, "welcome back."

"When did you get back?" Konan asked, in a voice that was slightly less calm than before.

"A few weeks ago," I told her, cringing slightly.

"Why didn't you tell me? We could've done something!"

"Because you're a freak," Tobi told her.

"Well uh, you know, we were kind of busy," I said,looking to Deidara for help.

'Yeah with like, moving and stuff, un," he said.

"And with getting jobs and stuff," I continued awkwardly.

"Just man up and tell her it's because she's a freak!" tobi demanded, "she says they're here to collect a letter from the principal or some crap but I don't buy it!"

Deciding that I would completely ignore this conversation, I started a knew one with Itachi.

"So uh, where's Kisame." I asked, tuning out what was quickly becoming an argument between Tobi and Konan.

Itachi didn't need to say anything, as my question was answered by a loud cry of "Senior year, bitches!"

Kisame was near the main office entrance, calling unnecessary attention to himself - and subsequently to Kakuzu who had made the mistake of walking in with him.

"Great," I said, "they get to more up and I have to repeat my junior year with you three."

"So I moved up and you fucking didn't?" Hidan asked.

"Yes, your finally a junior," itachi said, "when really, you should've been one last year."

"Was i asking you?" Hidan asked.

Itachi shrugged, "I thought it was an open question."

We spent the rest of our day like that - when we weren't in class.

Pein and Konan did eventually have to leave, but the remaining five of my friends filled me in on everything I had missed since I left.

Things seemed tombs looking up for everybody.

The day flew past with rants abut Hidan's messed up family - his parents had decided to get remarried and he had ended up moving in with Kakuzu - arguments which ran rampant now without Konan around to stop them, and watching Deidara interact with the Uchiha's in a way that reminded me of myself ad my cousins.

Like family.

At the end of the school day, we decided to walk home. Neither of us had work that night and both Kankuro and Temari had keys to the apartment. We decided just to walk by and watch the leaves fall from trees.

Autumn had always been my favorite season.

"You should take me on a date, Danna un," Deidara said. We were cutting through the park and it was blissfully peaceful out here.

"I'd love to, but in case you haven't noticed, we're kind of poor," I told him.

"That's fine un," he said, smiling cheekily at me, he stopped walking completely, leaning right up against me he said, "I know how we can have a good time for free."

He had barely gotten the words out before kissed him. It was perfect, because there were no annoying kids to stop us.

maybe waiting wasn't my favorite part after all.

This was my life, it was full of simple things like spending time with my cousins, watching my friends yell at each other - scaring the crap out of this years set of freshies and transfer students - and walking down a windy street, holding my boyfriend's hand - or doing other things.

And i was fine with it, in fact I loved it.

Because by now, I had come to terms with the fact that I was never really meant for the finer things in life.

* * *

**So, that's it. Hope you all enjoys. Thanks so such for sticking with me!**

**For those interested, the first chapter of my next story is up (it has been for a while, I've been neglecting it for too long but imma finish that shit.) It's called 'Teach Me' currently, and I will resume regular posting tomorrow. It's a dragon fantasy AU, so read the posted chapter and if you like it, you can look forward to more... **


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